My take on why BMW design is so bad nowadays

"VehiculusIgnorantus" (crdiscoverer) 09/24/2020 at 19:03 • Filed to: BMW, m3, m4, Car Design, Opinion

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I write this as the owner of an E39 which I adore, so it hurts me to see pig faces, mole teeth and Lexus tail lights passing for BMWs these days.

BMW used to have a very strong design language, IMO not rivaled by any other manufacturer besides maybe Porsche (911). There were 3 things that were always a given in any BMW between, from say, the 70's up until the early 10's:

Kidney grilles

Ho fmeister kink

4 round headlights

A few other design traits were also common:

“L-shaped” tail lights

Driver oriented center console

Of course things like the grilles date way back but the quintessential BMWs that we can all identify in seconds showed up around the 90's. Those are the models in which you couldn’t try to photoshop the kidneys or add a KIA or a Lexus badge on them and make it feel right. They were shaped like BMWs. An E30 was completely different from a Corolla of that era.

Sure, there were outliers that only kept 1 or 2 features and still looked great, but they were not easily identifiable as BMWs. Show them to the uninitiated and ask them what they are:

Nice TVR!

Nice Ford Probe!

My point is, for a BMW missing most of its characteristic traits, it has to look AMAZING to justify not having them, otherwise it will fall into the generic/bland bucket and you can easily make it pass for a KIA. This is the problem BMW has right now. The only thing they kept with the new pig nosed 7 Series and the crime-against-humanity M3/M4 are the kidneys, so they chose to blow them out of proportion to compensate for the lack of character. They have tried adding stupid things like the beemerang or keeping vestigial quad headlamps using DRL but every other car manufacturer is doing the same thing.

See, there is no Ho fmeister kink here, those headlights would be just fine in a Focus hatchback, the tail lights, while attempting to retain the L shape only do so when lit up and the car is not a beautiful or elegant design for people to say: “oh man, I love the direction in which BMW design is moving”. Squint and a G80 is not too different from a K5:

The only way I can reason what’s happening in BMW is that any publicity is good publicity and they fully embrace the controversy. It will drive sales because people who are not into cars will eventually read an article about “ugly BMWs”. This is giving them a lot of free ads everywhere you look. If Bangle proved something is that controversial trends get copied, keeping your original version looking somewhat modern, and a lot of people seem not to care about how a car looks if it’s a luxury brand anyway.

I love when manufacturers try new things and dare to be different, but different doesn’t have to mean fucking hideous, overdone and forced. BMW has shown that it’s capable of daring designs which almost completely forgo conventions and end up being beautiful classics. Coincidentally, none of those unorthodox BMWs had angry faces.

Remember that it was BMW who gave us DRLs as a design element, which is now ubiquitous. This is a scary takeaway.

Nauraushaun > VehiculusIgnorantus 09/24/2020 at 20:45

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Circle headlights are a relic of a time when they had to be circle, before we could get creative with them. BMW are trying to enter a modern age without tying themselves too heavily to the past.

BMWs used to always be straight-6 not V6 and with a numerical name that indicated status based on displacement and that the car was fuel injected. Relics.

It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, but BMW isn’t wrong for trying not to be held down by the past in the way that Porsche is. It’s a shame that they aren’t doing a better job of it though. That said, I’m sure buyers love it

MUSASHI66 > VehiculusIgnorantus 09/24/2020 at 20:58

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I seem to recall reading that these days, BMW design decisions are guided by Chinese tastes because of the number of sales they do there. Not sure if true or not.

That said, I do prefer the look of a 2002 M5 over any modern car, but that ship has sailed. I don’t mind the new look that much, other than the grill. Buck tooth beaver look is disgusting. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > VehiculusIgnorantus 09/24/2020 at 21:08

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I mean... Any Datsun, Mazda, or Toyota in the 70's and early ‘80s also had four round headlights. Or Benzes sold in America. It was the industry-”shared” look of yesteryear. Sealed beams and all that Jazz.

I do fully agree that new Bimmers look like Lexus knockoffs sometimes.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > MUSASHI66 09/24/2020 at 21:16

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Yeah, it's like, my 18 year old Toyota looks good to me and better than what they sell now -- but they can't just trot out an 18 year old Toyota year after year and expect sales to maintain.

VehiculusIgnorantus > Nauraushaun 09/24/2020 at 21:26

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I am fine with change and getting rid of stuff that has been phased out thanks to technology advancements. However, claiming that r ound-ish headlights are ancient is not true and very much still a thing (Porsche, Jeep, G-class Benz, Bentley, etc.)

As for the model names, I never cared for the last two numbers perfectly reflecting the displacement, but they should’ve kept their simplicity. We all know how this all Individual M760i xDrive Model Excellence THE NEXT 100 YEARS ended up.

Keeping a semblance of heritage is not a bad thing and should not tie you to the past. BMW was able to keep modernizing their models from the 70's all the way to the early 10's and they were instantly recognizable. An E9 and an E46 cannot be more different but anyone can identify them as BMWs from miles away:

VehiculusIgnorantus > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/24/2020 at 21:32

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Right. The E23 and the KE70 Corolla share a similar headlight configuration, but not much else. Also, BMW stuck with their traits so others ended up being the copycats. If anyone dared to add a kink at the C-pillar, it was clear what was the intention . Now it’s the other way around. BMW is looking for ideas in other manufacturer’s designs.

MUSASHI66 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/24/2020 at 21:56

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I mean... can’t they? Look at the Tundra and the  4runner :)

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > MUSASHI66 09/24/2020 at 22:16

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Touché

Nauraushaun > VehiculusIgnorantus 09/24/2020 at 22:23

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Mmmm good point about the headlights. I think Jeep and G-Wag don’t count since they’re in this weird boat of being deliberately retro - the round-headlighted vehicles don’t at all represent the look or feel of the rest of the lineup.

But Bentley have certainly turned round headlights into a completely modern thing on a number of models.

But they definitely are something based on history rather than style - the old sealed beam units. This opposed to something like the hoffmeister kink which was only ever design flair.

There have been plenty of iconic BMWs that also had only 2 round headlights, initially the 4 were reserved for fancier models.

ranwhenparked > VehiculusIgnorantus 09/24/2020 at 22:28

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I think what's going on here is affluent Chinese customers gravitate toward gaudy, overstyled monstrosities with huge grilles, and they're the only customers that matter now, so we all just have to have what they order. Sort of like how Nielsen households used to dictate what was on the Big Three networks. 

Vicente Esteve > ranwhenparked 09/25/2020 at 16:59

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So true.