Drink Review: Monster Java Monster 300

"nermal" (nermal)
08/13/2020 at 14:16 • Filed to: Opporeviews, Drinklopnik, Coffee, Am I Gregnant?, WHY ARE YOU YELLING?, insomnia

Background:

I acquired two cans of “Mocha” version of this during a routine stop at a random gas station. They were $3.19 usually, or two for $5, so I totally fell for the upsell. So far, I have dranken one.

Nutrition info:

Serving size: 1 Can

Sugar: 35g

Caffeine: 300 mg

Other nutritional vitamins and stuff: A few mg here, a few mg there

Warning labels:

RECCOMENDED FOR PERSONS 18 YEARS OR OLDER

SERIOUSLY STRONG COFFEE

CONSUME RESPONSIBLY. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PERSONS UNDER 18 YEARS OLD, PEOPLE SENSITIVE TO CAFFEINE, PREGNANT WOMEN OF WOMEN WHO ARE NURSING. INTENDED FOR HEALTHY ADULTS ONLY.

CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL BEFORE CONSUMING THIS PRODUCT IF YOU ARE TAKING ANY MEDICATION OR IF YOU HAVE ANY PREEXISTING MEDICAL CONDITIONS.

ONE CAN CONTAINS 300 mg OF CAFFEINE FROM ALL SOURCES. CAFFEINE VALUES MAY VARY BASED ON COFFEE SOURCES. THE FDA HAS STATED THAT CONSUMPTION OF UP TO 400 mg OF CAFFEINE PER DAY FROM ALL SOURCES IS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH ADVERSE HEALTH EFFECTS IN HEALTHY ADULTS

Review process:

I didn’t bother to read any of the warnings ahead of time and drank the whole can. I also did not consult a professional, take a pregnancy test, or take any other precautions for that matter .

Initial thoughts:

Tastes like coffee. And chocolate.

Thoughts 5 minutes after drinking:

Everything seems fine.

Thoughts 10 minutes after drinking.

Everything is starting to tingle.

Thoughts 15 minutes after drinking:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

Conclusions:

DISCUSSION (23)

AestheticsInMotion > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:24

I'd like to request more energy drink/coffee reviews plz

CalzoneGolem > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:26

This review made me have to go get a coffee.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:30

God I could really use one of those right now. Insurance is DRY at times

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:32

/Takes sip of regular-ass Monster

So, is it good?

nerd_racing > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:35

Can you review Death Wish coffee next?

ranwhenparked > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:40

I have a high sensitivity to caffeine, which is great, because I also enjoy feeling really awake all the time, will have to give that a shot.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > nermal
08/13/2020 at 14:51

I like most of the Java flavors, and I lived on the Espresso double shots for a while, but the 300 taste like ass

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/13/2020 at 14:51

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > nerd_racing
08/13/2020 at 14:56

It’s OK.

The Valhalla Blend is where it’s at.

Just don’t go overboard with consuming it.

nerd_racing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/13/2020 at 15:03

I love Death Wish. The smoothness of it is excellent.

I also took a nap 1 hour after having it for the first time.

Tripper > nermal
08/13/2020 at 15:16

I go 5 shot Americano (starbucks) when I get coffee outside of my kitchen which is slightly more caffeine but none of the sugar and chemicals that are prob giving you the AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > nermal
08/13/2020 at 15:19

Amateur. He says as he sips Mr Hyde pre workout.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
08/13/2020 at 15:23

Get into flood insurance, if you don’t want it to be dry

Just Jeepin' > nermal
08/13/2020 at 15:34

Anyone have any Monster drink recommendations for someone who loathes the taste of coffee?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > nermal
08/13/2020 at 15:35

This about sounds like when I tried a can of Reign on an empty stomach and after something of a caffeine reduction. To wit:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/13/2020 at 15:36

Kinja'd!!!

Future next gen S2000 owner > nermal
08/13/2020 at 15:36

I consume almost 0 caffeine on a daily basis. So I should drink 3, right?

Aremmes > nermal
08/13/2020 at 15:37

I had a similar experience on a road trip many years ago, driving overnight from PA to Louisiana. I had stopped along the way and picked up a couple of cans of Rockstar, which I drank within approximately 20 minutes. I felt very awake after that, but it made the I-75/24/59 hop around Chattanooga very surreal, like a painting by Munch.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Just Jeepin'
08/13/2020 at 16:20

Birthday Cake f lavored Bang

Which is obviously not Monster. But I’m t is amazing

Just Jeepin' > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
08/13/2020 at 16:20

I have become addicted to birthday cake ice cream. That sounds very dangerous.

Kiltedpadre > Future next gen S2000 owner
08/13/2020 at 18:37

Only after taking a pregnancy test, consulting with a physician, and putting the coroner on standby.

i86hotdogs > Just Jeepin'
08/14/2020 at 05:18

If you don’t require the massive amounts of caffeine , Monster makes a line of tea drinks that are delicious. Non carbonated, peach, orange, lemon, “red” flavors. It’s about half the potency of these 300mg sluggers

i86hotdogs > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/14/2020 at 05:20

The lady and I switch between regular Death Wish and Valhalla blend in our monthly subscription. One mug of coffee will get me through most of the day for . I also have their cold brew cans as backup too. Great over ice, even better with some boozy creamer.