Several minority students from our high school created a petition

"Nibby" (nibby68) 06/24/2020 at 09:30 • Filed to: None

22

40

Cold Spring Harbor is a mostly white, affluent school district. It has been consistently ranked as one of the top public schools in the US and NY state but it seems to have fallen down since I was there (graduated in 2009). My cousin and her friends who graduated a year ago created a petition to change policy and culture in the district and encouraged the school to promote diversity.

There was one black student in my grade and someone had called him the N word. He transferred schools shortly afterwards.

Don’t even get me started on the locker rooms during gym and the team buses for sports. Rampant homophobic slurs, racist jokes, and graphic fantasizing about female classmates.

A Jewish friend was subject to anti-Semitic jokes. My closest friend was Hindu and he was also subject to a bevy of racist remarks.

I was one of two Muslim students in my grade. Having attended CSH during the mid-late 2000s, shortly after 9/11 and the war on Iraq, many students ridiculed me for my religion and skin color. They mistakenly assumed I was Arab. They called me terrorist and sand-n word. One kid left me a note during lunch “I’m so scared the terrorists, AKA Nibby will kill me.” I took it to the principal at the time and she said “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it.” The administration completely turned a blind eye to these problems. They didn’t care. Students of color were basically left to fend for themselves.

Every time one particular classmate saw me in the hallways, he would spread his arms open like wings on a plane and “fly” into the lockers and walls.

Special needs kids were bullied as well, often without even realizing it.

I recall an English teacher who had us read “To Kill a Mockingbird.” He would read it to our class, including pronouncing the N word. He justified it with “historical context.”

A teacher was giving a lesson on Islam. He mentioned there are 2 ways to get to heaven. One is by following the 5 Pillars of Islam. He said the other way was “by blowing yourself up.” I immediately called him out and he apologized.

Like others have commented, I learned a lot about American history and racial injustice AFTER I graduated from CSH. I didn’t know much about Malcolm X or what the Black Panther Party was. They never mentioned John Brown. They taught a very one-sided view of American history. The school failed to promote diversity. They seemed more preoccupied with maintaining a certain image than creating a welcome, diverse community. Several have already commented about CSH being a bubble… it’s 1000% true.

Looking back, I realized the pressure to fit into the prototypical CSH student was impossible for me. I wanted to disassociate with my own culture and heritage. Many classmates made me feel they were superior just because I wasn’t white. I am sure others felt the same way. However, I am grateful for the classmates that did stick up for me and the ones who called out racist comments and bigotry.

I am deeply grateful for the alumni who created this petition. From what I have heard, it’s excellent to hear over the past ten years there has been cultural growth. But there is still a long way to go. I hope these stories shared by dozens of alumni help students both past and present understand they are never alone and we are all in this fight to end discrimination, racism and racial injustice together.

Please spread the word and if anyone of you has experienced discrimination growing up please speak up about it. It’s important to tell these stories to help break down these barriers and undo decades of damage so future generations do not have to deal with what millions of students across the country did.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

My bird IS the word > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 09:47

4

Administrations just generally ignore bullying. My middle school principal told my mom it was my fault I was being bullied and that he wasn't doing anything. Then they act all surprised when kids shoot up schools.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 09:57

6

When I began teaching in 2003, I worked with an assistant principal, first name Bob, but I can’t remember his last name, an older white guy who retired a year or two later. He worked as a reserve officer for some sheriff’s office and would tell me stories and make comments that were overtly racist. Flaming, out-there, racists. Sit down, Paco . Or refer to students as savages . I was 38 and a brand new teacher on a temporary teaching permit and a young family to provide for. I’ve told Bob’s story to some people afterward, and people were shocked. They couldn’t believe it. Maybe he thought that since I was white, I’d be sympathetic.

In middle school, I was bullied mercilessly. In high school, I was bullied mercilessly. Mercilessly. A fat white boy with musician/educator parents, no money, and a big mouth. Mercilessly.

I guess I’ve taken your thoughtful post and made it about me. But I’m glad you wrote it and I read it.

Peace.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > My bird IS the word 06/24/2020 at 09:59

1

At least at my schools people got suspended. And by people I mean all involved parties. I remember my friend was trying to open a ketchup packet one time, and it blew up and got all over this kid, my friend apologized, and angry kid kicked the shit out of him anyways. The staff suspended both of them because, despite several witnesses vouching that it was completely accidental, they assumed it wasn’t.

Shoot Suspend ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out.

Nibby > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 06/24/2020 at 10:00

2

No, this is the exact thing that needs to happen. People need to share their stories about their encounters with racist people at schools, whether it is an admin, teacher, student, whatever. The more stories like yours, the better.

The unfortunate thing is there are tons of Bobs around in our schools and hallways. We need to call them out and hopefully show them how damaging their biases are.

Sorry to hear you were also bullied but you turned out to be an excellent person.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > My bird IS the word 06/24/2020 at 10:01

0

I went to middle school and high school in Norfolk, Virginia and now that I am an educator myself, I can say that my teachers were largely a pathetic lot. Some rose to the level of mediocre. And a fistful were actually thoughtful human beings. Other than those few, f**k the rest. And yeah: are we so surprised that kids shoot up schools? Honestly though, at least where I work, many of the grownups are accepting the fact that we are in loco parentis and trying to change things. We come up short, but the most important thing is to acknowledge to a student that we made a mistake. You’re right: I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. What can I do to help you feel better?

F**k bullies. Like the president. How many of his followers are bullies or were bullied?

TheRealBicycleBuck > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 10:05

4

I’m sorry to hear that you were subjected to that. Kids are among the cruelest people on earth.

My daughter’s school posted a note on their instagram page inviting any student, past or present, to let them know if there were any problems with racism in their predominantly white, all girl, C atholic school. The response was shocking. Current students were fairly restrained, but the former students were not. They shared stories. Lots of stories. Then the bullies came out of the woodwork to tell them to “ get over it,” and “it wasn’t a big deal,” and “it was all in fun.” That’s when all hell broke loose. So much so that the school made their account private.

Fast forward a few weeks and the school has organized an advisory panel to work on fundamental changes in how the school operates. The panel is required to have minorities on it and they have to have representation from current students, former students, administrators/ faculty/staff, and parents. T he school administration has realized that the parents are paying for their kids to attend and expect that the school will take a firm stand. Now both my wife and daughter are members of the advisory panel and I feel sorry for the administration. They’re about to get raked over the coals for their lack of action.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 10:07

0

Thank you for that kind sentiment. Tons of Bobs in our PDs as well.

There was a day in middle school — it was junior high school in Norfolk — when I was cornered by a (black) special ed student who seemed like he was twice my size , pushed up against a wall with his forearm under my chin and pressing against my neck, his face just a few inches from mine, and I’m thinking, This may actually not end well . The little white special ed lady was saying, “Now, come on Michael...” Michael Stewart was the kid’s name. When I visited my mother in Illinois that Summer, her friend Max took me shooting and I fired his .44 magnum pistol and I wrote M.S. on the silhouette target and punched a bunch of holes through it.  

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > My bird IS the word 06/24/2020 at 10:10

2

I can remember certain incidents where the teachers condoned and joined in  the b ullying by laughing along.

Nibby > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 06/24/2020 at 10:17

1

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Nibby > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/24/2020 at 10:35

4

Good, they should be held accountable for letting toxic cultures continue to exist and turn a blind eye to students who were bullied relentlessly. Hope your daughters give them hell.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 10:37

1

before schools shut down I was in a middle school doing a building analysis. There was a class heading into the gym, which had double doors. There was a few boys at the door shuffling the classmates through one door, but only allowing the ‘covid kids’ through the other door. I’m sure you can guess how they were determining who was a ‘covid kid’ I was gunna go tell the kid to fuck off but I couldn’ t see that going well.

Nibby > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/24/2020 at 10:45

0

yea unfortunately there were a lot of asian students who were discriminated in similar manners before schools went online

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 11:33

2

Asian here, never mind the fact I was born and raised in Canada. My only response to “where are you from?” is Canada. You can guess the inevitable follow up question and the guesses about which Asian background I have.

In school, I was fortunate to have good friends. Not a lot of Asians, but our school had a good mix of backgrounds even if it was mostly white at the time.

Honestly, racism is a bit different for Asians in that the racism tends to be positive stereotypes, but I hated school and studying and math isn’t something I’m great at . I only did well to keep my parents off my back. I’ve heard a lot more in the news about Asian racism but luckily I haven’t been on the receiving end of any of it since Covid began.

Honestly, the racist shit I’ve dealt with in my lifetime has been very mild compared to what other people have faced, so I tend to downplay it. Maybe it’s not the right move, but I don’t fear for my life or fear being hassled because of my Asian-ness, even during this Covid period.

That’s my experience, anyway. Others may have faced greater discrimination, especially if they are Asian immigrants and have strong accents and such, but I can’t speak to those experiences. I have much more in common with my friends who are white than I do with Korean immigrants living here, and I feel like a foreigner when I visit South Korea as well, the only difference being that I fit in there because of my looks.

jminer > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 11:43

4

Thank you very much for sharing. These stories are a perfect example of how systemic this problem is. I’m very privileged in the fact that I am white, tall, male and physically able and the things I have seen/heard in my life still shock me.

I was in high school in the early 00's and the amount of extreme racism that showed up towards Muslims right after september 11th was staggering. I am very sorry you had to suffer that.

When I was a younger man I wouldn’t call people out on these sort of things as I didn’t want to cause trouble, I’d just mark that person as a racist asshole in my mind and attempt to avoid them in the future. This is a tactic that benefits no one but myself so I have abandoned it.

My current workplace has a pretty strong Diversity and Inclusion program involving both mandatory and optional trainings and resource groups dedicated to advocating and educating and I will say these things have helped me grow substantially in this front. We actually go as far to put a category on your performance review about being ‘Inclusive’ which is an additional motivator for folks to get involved.

Yet I have coworkers that still avoid all of this and even go as far as to say these groups divide us which is simply untrue.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > gin-san - shitpost specialist 06/24/2020 at 11:44

2

Trump, having pre-empted your post last night, from AZ: Hold my beer!

Unfortunately there’s a big group of current young republicans being groomed to hate Asian people (see their back and forth laughing with Trump about COVID-19 and giving it various racist names last night with the entire crowd shouting “Kung Flu!”).

I feel similar to you, am Asian but not “from” any of the places or backgrounds that get usually harassed, although I’ve had enough too - just not as bad as most. But this shit is ever-evolving, and sadly it appears Asians of the “Chinese” variety are the group that the right wing loonies have decided are the “Bad guys”, en masse, never mind who they actually are as individuals (because we “won” in Afghanistan and Radical Islam is supposedly no longer a threat?...guess because Trump said so. Tangent - but just imagine if literally any prior D administration had signed a truce with THE TALIBAN...and yet it didn’t even register as a top story this year).

gin-san - shitpost specialist > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 06/24/2020 at 12:03

3

Yeah I can see that, even locally there have been Asian owned businesses that are the target of racist graffiti and remarks, being called Covid spreaders and such. Funny thing is, some of them were Vietnamese and they have the lowest (reported) cases/deaths I’ve seen for any country so far.

China seems to be a scapegoat for many things. Even if their government is the issue, the discussion becomes blurred as “China” becomes more about the people when it’s the government that I find problematic.

Anyway, I consider myself fortunate that I've made good friends and that I haven't been the subject of anyone's racist hatred. I'll always do my best to judge based on a person's character rather than appearance, but I'm sure I have my own innate biases of which I must remain mindful. Even my parents have racist tendencies and I'm sure some of that has sunk into my unconscious behaviors. 

Nibby > jminer 06/24/2020 at 12:12

1

Y ea people who don’t participate or believe in these programs really can be a detriment to the efforts. I’m glad you shared your perspective and changed how you deal with it. I’m a firm believer of not saying anything means being part of the problem as well. I wish my employer did stuff like this. I think it would help out a lot

Nibby > gin-san - shitpost specialist 06/24/2020 at 12:14

1

I’m glad to he ar you didn’t have to deal with it so much in person or directly. Some Asians have told me they feel a lack of connection to their Canadian/American peers. Again, everyone’s experiences are different though. If you have a strong, closeknit community then that alone is more valuable than anything else.

adamftw > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 12:21

2

yo, fuck CHS. signed, WWHS 2006.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > gin-san - shitpost specialist 06/24/2020 at 12:22

1

Agreed with all of the above. These idiots aren’t known for their critical thinking - the same people attacking Vietnamese businesses thinking they’re Chinese are the same who attack Sikhs thinking they’re Al Qaeda. We just have to be safe, have each other’s back regardless of demographic, and interact with people as individuals.

And yup, we all have our biases and even racism is a spectrum. My parents are the same way - there are many things that they take for granted but were “OK” supposedly in their time, but I need to correct them on. And absolutely I’m sure some of that has at least subconsciously been absorbed in to my own thinking from having been raised by them.

My bird IS the word > Snuze: Needs another Swede 06/24/2020 at 12:28

0

“Proffessionals"

Nibby > adamftw 06/24/2020 at 12:30

0

one of my high school friends was my age and from WWHS

did you hear about the body found near stimson middle school yester day?

Nibby > DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back 06/24/2020 at 12:31

0

totally disgusting

Sovande > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/24/2020 at 13:13

0

No need to feel sorry for them.  Give em hell.  

Sovande > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 13:26

2

When I think back on my high school experience, which merc ifully ended in 1993, I don’t remember a lot of overt racism. My school was 65% black, 25% white and the rest was hispanic and asian. The only incident I remember is getting the shit kicked out of me in the auditorium for being a “cracker.” But whatever, you get what you give and I was not an innocent little boy in my teens. I attended public schools for my whole life and was in the racial minority until college.

The high school I attended was the same as was depicted in Remember the Titans, so race was already an ingrained part of the conversation. The school was actually named after a lifelong segregationist and former school board member . It still carries that name, though I’d imagine a change is coming.

Nibby > My bird IS the word 06/24/2020 at 13:35

0

i got a kid suspended for tackling me to the ground and telling me “eat shit and die, sand-n word”

that was one of the very few times the school actually did something

Nibby > gin-san - shitpost specialist 06/24/2020 at 13:36

1

yea this is somethign that also needs to be addressed... our parents, even though they are minorities, can have racist opinions. more my dad, my mom is fine.

i’ve been trying to get him to stop using the Hindu word “ kallu” which is used in a derogatory way to describe black people

Nibby > Sovande 06/24/2020 at 13:39

1

hopefully they change their name. thanks for sharing your experiences :)

GLiddy > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 16:31

1

I was notified of a similar thing going on at my old school. In case anybody cares, I graduated from the real “Culver Creek” of John Green’s young adult novel, “ Looking for Alaska” . Its no secret he was writing about his (and my) school, Indian Springs School in Alabama.

I can’t pretend to know what its like being non-white. I do have a little inkling of it as my children are mixed, and I saw the small mindedness of many people as they were growing up. Its still an issue today every time we fill out a form that needs to know what race they are. This is a real issue, for we still live in the south and because of various federal desegregation consent decrees, any child in public school has to have a defined race so the the federal government can be sure that no discrimination is taking place.

Saying all this, I don’t agree with much of what they are demanding. In Indian Springs’ case, the social justice warriors are demanding that the student body and the faculty be more representative of the racial makeup of Birmingham, Alabama as a whole. Do they realize that Indian Springs is the most expensive private school in the state? How do they expect to achieve this level of “fairness”? The school scholarships as many students as they can, but as with private colleges, money from full-freight students and from donations bears the brunt of financing these students. I almost wanted to ask them that if fairness was so important, why they didn’t give up their spot to another child for their parents to pay for? These things are easy to demand when the cost of them is shouldered by other people.

My son attends a public International Baccalaureate school which has a very diverse student makeup (about 50% African American) and even so, the teacher population is so white that the closest thing they had to diversity was a white teacher who had a black spouse. She left last year.

I worked in engineering and computer science all of my working life. It is really hard to find people of color to fill positions in those fields (or at least it was in my experience). Those men and women of color that did have the necessary qualifications almost invariably left for other employers who w ould pay more. It takes time to make an engineer or a PhD teacher (Indian Springs had several instructors with either PhDs or other impressive credentials. My history and physics teachers were PhDs in their field).

This is not a problem that will be solved by a Change.org petition and people screaming that it be changed NOW.

Cash Rewards > Nibby 06/24/2020 at 20:33

0

I lived in Putnam county and can confirm a lot of what you’re saying. Thanks for writing this.

Also, breakneck is an  amazing place to hike. Haven't been in 20 years

Nibby > Cash Rewards 06/24/2020 at 20:43

1

love the catskills... i need to check out more places out there

Nibby > GLiddy 06/24/2020 at 23:48

0

you’re right, it is an institutional and communal issue. everyone who lives in that community needs to take part in not just promoting diversity but doing a better job educating about discrimination and how to break barriers instead of reinforce them

boredalways > Nibby 06/25/2020 at 00:13

0

Signed

Nibby > boredalways 06/25/2020 at 08:14

1

Thank you!

boredalways > Nibby 06/25/2020 at 08:28

0

And thank you for bringing this to our attention 

Nibby > boredalways 06/25/2020 at 08:36

1

kanadanmajava1 > Nibby 06/25/2020 at 16:46

1

I managed to grew up in mid-sized Finnish city without meeting much diversity. Two of my class mates who were brothers had Turkish father (and Finnish mother) and one friend was a Jehovah’s Witness. A class mate of my brother was an Orthodox Christian. But that was it . All other people at school were regular white native Finnish Evangelical Lutheran C hristians.

Around 5% of Finland’s population are Finland-Swedes who use Swedish as their native language. But for some weird reason I didn’t know any Finland-Swedes during my school years.

The mentioned Turkish father had a kebab restaurant and I did knew couple of other people from their place that were of T urkish decent. At that point i t seemed that all of the T urkish descent population either owned or worked at kebab restaurant.

There was a smaller neighboring city that received the first refugees from Somalia during my school ye ar s. This city wasn’t far away b ut I didn’t meet anyone of them.

I don’t remember any conflicts with the “ minorities” . Bullying of course ha ppened but it was for different reasons. Kids just tend to be cruel. I do know however that the mentioned kebab restaurant was torched after my friends’ father had sold it (and established a new one). I don’t think that the culprit was caught but hate crime against the owners was likely the reason.

Nibby > kanadanmajava1 06/25/2020 at 19:28

0

yea if one of the few (it seems) restaurants owned by a foreigner gets burned down by someone else, that’s a hate crime. fucking shit world

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Nibby 06/29/2020 at 14:30

1

Thank you for sharing this.

I’m deeply saddened that you had to go through what you did in high school. I’m glad you had some friends and classmates willing to stick up for you. I can only hope things continue to improve generation by generation, but it’s taken way too long, and it definitely won’t happen without being intentional about it, and without the majority of us working hard to root out racism wherever we find it.

Nibby > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 06/29/2020 at 15:41

1

Agreed! everyone has a part to play and can contribute to bring people together instead of further apart