"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
06/21/2020 at 10:00 • Filed to: None
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"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
06/21/2020 at 10:00 • Filed to: None | 6
| 26 |
Last night while I was drunk I fell into a YouTube hole, looking for commercials of all the cars I’ve owned . Some of them were a bit hard to find; there’s a hilariously bad sales training video for the Chevy Celebrity, but not many actual commercials. Anyway, here they all are.
1. Pontiac Phoenix (1980 5-door, LJ, 2.0 4, 4-speed manual, got in 1991)
“Legendary symbol of excellence” Uh, NO.
2. Chevrolet Celebrity (1983 4-door sedan, 2.8 V6, 3-speed auto, got in March 1992)
WOW. Only 12.9% financing? WHERE DO I SIGN!? Seriously, though, this car was a warrior. My sister and I speak of it in hushed tones.
3. Honda Civic CRX (1987, DX, 1.5 4, 4-speed auto, got in June 1993)
Mine had the flush-mounted headlamps that came about in 1986. My CRX was s low but fun. Fun fact, my mother and I both had Civics from this generation. Hers was an ‘86 base model hatch with a 4-speed manual. I learned to drive on that car. She loved that little bugger.
4. Mercury Sable (1991, Sedan LS, 3.0 V6, 4-speed auto, got in November 1995)
My sister totaled it in an accident. The airbag no doubt kept her from being hurt.
5. Chevrolet Sprint (1987 base 5-door hatch, 1.0 3-cyl., 5-speed manual, got in spring 1996)
I loved this car. I should have fixed the clutch instead of trading it in. I was young and stupid.
6. Volkswagen Rabbit (1981, LS, 3-door hatch, 1.7 4-cyl, 4-speed manual, got in February 1997)
Bought for $500, had for 2 months. Sold for $250. I think I got my money’s worth.
7. Acura Integra (1987, RS 3-door hatch, 1.6 DOHC 4-cyl, 4-speed auto, got in spring 1998)
AWFUL CAR. It was a total POS. I hated it. (My comments are for my specific Integra. I think I bought the only shitty Honda ever made.)
8. Chevrolet Sprint (1988, LOADED 5-door hatch, 1.0 3-cyl., 5-speed manual, got in November 1998)
It wasn’t as good as the ‘87. Also it threw a rod and to this day is the only car that has ever left me stranded somewhere. Specifically, 10 miles north of Walsenburg, CO on the day after Christmas 1998.
9. Geo Prizm (1993, LSi, 1.8 4-cyl., 5-speed manual, got in February 2000)
Maybe the most underrated car I’ve owned. It was great in every way. Very crashworthy. Helped me out of financial calamity.
10. Oldsmobile Alero (2001, GL2, 2.4 4-cyl., 4-speed auto, got in December 2001)
The 2nd most underrated car I’ve owned. These were great-handling cars, no joke . The 4-speed auto wasn’t that great though. It l asted well over 200k.
11. Volkswagen Passat (1991, GL 4-door sedan, 2.0 4-cyl, 5-speed, got in February 2004)
It had 212k miles on the clock when I bought it . Lasted way longer than it should have. First car I had with a sunroof.
12. Hyundai Accent (2001, L, 3-door hatch, 1.5 4-cyl, 5-speed manual, got in March 2005)
I used it as a courier vehicle, put 110k on it in a year and a half. Hyundai hadn’t quite figured out how to make a reliable car yet.
13. Buick LeSabre (1998, Custom, 3.8 Series II V6, 4-speed auto, got in November 2006)
I think a Circuit City stereo install fucked this car up. I had all kinds of electrical problems that couldn’t be fixed.
14. Dodge Caravan (2005, SWB SXT, 2.4 4-cyl, 4-speed auto, got in fall 2007)
Near as I can tell, there are no commercials that feature the non-Grand Caravan. Also, I did not have Stow-N-Go. Also, I willingly bought a minivan as a single man, and by the time I got rid of it I wasn’t single anymore . Minivans aren’t the stigma everyone thinks they are. Long story short, it ate its torque converter.
15. Ford Ranger (2009, XL, 6' bed, 2.3 4-cyl., 5-speed manual, got in June 2009)
This is the only Ranger ad I could find newer than 2003. The first vehicle my husband and I bought together, as my Caravan was committing suicide. I have to rank it #1. I should never have gotten rid of it. And it died in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! of all places.
16. Fiat 500 (2012, Sport, 1.4 MultiAir, 5-speed, got in January 2014)
Fun car. 101 hp isn’t much, but it’s enough to make it flingable. And I had NO MECHANICAL ISSUES. (Fit and finish is, well, they tried real hard.) These things are cheap now. Get one and have fun. Seriously. Don’t be afraid.
17. Kia Optima (2013, LX, 2.4 4-cyl., 6-speed auto, got in August 2015)
I got it because my husband hated riding in the Fiat. The Optima was good but mostly unremarkable. Then it saved my life in a car accident where I nailed someone at 45 mph after they made an illegal turn. Gap coverage saved my finances. To this day I sometimes find myself missing it . A coworker bought one on my recommendation. Oh, and did I mention I found that someone bought it at salvage and rebuilt it? So, it’s still plugging along somewhere in Utah. (FYI there was zero frame damage.)
18. Nissan Cube (2012, S+, 1.8 4.cyl, 6-speed manual, got in October 2018)
I liked it at first. Then I really started to notice it had absolutely NO personality. So numb. People say the Camry is an appliance, but no . THIS wa s an appliance. I got rid of it 6 months after buying it.
19. Ford F-150 (2008, XL, SuperCab, 4.6 V8, 4-speed auto, got in April 2019)
Found a cheap 2008 2WD F-150 that was in amazing shape, and jumped on it. It may be slow, but at least it gets shitty MPG too. Actually, I don’t care. I drive less than 10k per year on my personal vehicles now, so I get gas in this truck MAYBE once a month. I can’t explain why I love it, but I love it. It’s got rubber floors, manual crank windows, several weird stains on the front jump seat’s seat belt, it smells like cigars (that’s my fault), and the white paint is just about to start coming off in sheets, but I love it anyway,
GLiddy
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:17 |
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And I almost forgot. I had this too:
SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:18 |
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Oh no...you are not getting me into the crypt with a Lada Niva, a Series 3 Stage 1 Land Rover and a Holden Astra. No. Fuck. No.
WilliamsSW
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:20 |
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Oh shit this is dangerous.
404 - User No Longer Available
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:24 |
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Cavalier:
Had a 2002, but 2001 was mostly the same car. Mine didn’t have any of the features shown, it was just a base air and auto. Not even a coupe.
G6:
Had a 2006, 2005 here, same car minus the ugly Malibu steering wheel, and I didn’t have that panoramic sunroof, just a regular one.
Solstice:
Part of Pontiac’s “Feel” campaign. I still have that poster somewhere.
F30:
Mine looks exactly like the red Sport Line they show here except mine’s gray, down to the manual transmission. Funny how just a generation ago they still put emphasis on fun to drive but now all we have are drab and ugly BMWs. Oh and did I mention up here in Canada they started forcing everyone to buy AWD only? They basically became Audi.
ClassicDatsunDebate
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:32 |
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Dang I thought * I* have owned a lot of cars. The most noteworthy thing about the 81 Phoenix/ Citation / Omega was the vertical radio.
DipodomysDeserti
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:39 |
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gokstate
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 10:45 |
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Awesome idea. Well done!
Just Jeepin'
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 11:23 |
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Great idea. I didn’t expect to actually find a commercial for my Corolla FX, but this was just uploaded yesterday:
And my del Sol. Cute commercial.
And of course the TJ.
I’ve owned a (very) few others, but those are the only ones that really matter.
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fhrblig
> 404 - User No Longer Available
06/21/2020 at 11:32 |
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My best friend had a Cavalier from that generation, a base coupe with a manual and no A/C (and black plastic bumpers). My sister still has a G6 hardtop convertible.
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fhrblig
> GLiddy
06/21/2020 at 11:36 |
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I had to laugh at them using the word ‘p assion’ in a Corolla ad. I t’s a good car, but let’s not get crazy.
My bird IS the word
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 11:37 |
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Some good stuff.
Poorly made commercial for a poorly made car
You get alot of action, with pontiaction.
Oof. Closest I could find. I dont think the 20 mpg I am getting is considered "good"
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fhrblig
> Just Jeepin'
06/21/2020 at 11:39 |
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I always thought they should have had a proper CRX replacement AND the Del Sol, instead of replacing the CRX with the Del Sol outright. I think that harmed it, having to fill that niche.
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fhrblig
> SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
06/21/2020 at 11:40 |
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I had a good time looking for mine, and some were harder than I expected. Finding an ad for a Ranger past say 2003 was almost impossible.
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fhrblig
> ClassicDatsunDebate
06/21/2020 at 11:41 |
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Mine didn’t even have that, it was just an obnoxious POS.
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fhrblig
> gokstate
06/21/2020 at 11:41 |
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Thanks!
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fhrblig
> My bird IS the word
06/21/2020 at 11:46 |
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I’m doing the Beavis and Butthead laugh to the end of that Firebird commercial.
Heh heh, Dick McFeely. Heh heh heh heh.
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Just Jeepin'
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 11:49 |
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The del Sol was my first fun car, and I never paid much attention to cars before that (or, really, after) so I heard a bit of the CRX lamentations but other than “teenage death trap” I don’t know much about them.
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GLiddy
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 11:55 |
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No kidding. The 06 Corolla is my daily driver and while I find the engine and transmission to be solid , it was built to a price. Certainly not finely appointed or having a build quality that I would expect Brad Pitt to be driving.
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fhrblig
> Just Jeepin'
06/21/2020 at 11:56 |
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There wasn’t really anything wrong with the Del Sol, it’s only flaw was that it wasn’t a CRX and people dragged it for that. I always liked them, though.
I shudder to think what would have happened if I’d had an accident in my CRX.
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fhrblig
> GLiddy
06/21/2020 at 11:59 |
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I think the build quality in my Prizm was better than the ‘03-’08 models. Actually, it was better than the ‘98-’02 ones too. I remember when we got the new ‘03 Corolla at Hertz and I sat in one and was really underwhelmed.
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Just Jeepin'
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 12:02 |
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I drove my del Sol as my sole car for 14 years, so you could say I liked it.
Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 12:16 |
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This will be short.
That commercial is far too good to be GM. This is much more appropriate.
Yeah, typical bland GM fatherly advice commercial. I think the former is more accurate but the latter more appropriate.
I love this idea BTW. You seem to have alternated between manual and autos every time.
feather-throttle-not-hair
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 13:01 |
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Nissan produced a ten minute long video for my old 350z when that car came out. Pretty cool, had to shut down part of a city. It’s funny though, if the video had come out 5 years later, it would’ve just been all drifting. But alas, Nissan made the promo video before Ken blocks gymkhana series took off.
Watching it now feels like the directorial equivalent of “I don’t know what to do with my hands.”
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My bird IS the word
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 19:35 |
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I am butthead IRL
ranwhenparked
> fhrblig
06/21/2020 at 22:43 |
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I notice the Wilt Chamberlain Volkswagen spot seemed to be quite strategically filmed, the camera was very careful angled so as not to show too much of the interior.
I have to think it would have made Shaq’s Buick look positively roomy in comparison.
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fhrblig
> ranwhenparked
06/21/2020 at 23:02 |
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Yeah, I have trouble believing he fit in an unmodified Rabbit.