My dream is dead

"Tapas" (tapas) 05/27/2020 at 17:03 • Filed to: None

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Update: I am overwhelmed by your touching response and support. I saw my car today, maybe for the last time, and I’m grateful to have had something so special. Thank you for everything. I’ll keep you posted on how things go.

Just a heads up, this is going to be sad post.

I was T boned in my E39 M5 this Sunday and things don’t look pretty. The insurance representative taking my report said it is probably going to be declared a total loss.

I’m incredibly heartbroken, as if I’ve lost a pet. I’m whiplashed. The insurance company and tow company have me stressed out. I’m finding things in my house that belong to my dead car. I remember the way I took the roads to and from work in my car, while driving my shitty rental. Looking at nice cars on the road or on tv just make me feel more depressed.

I feel like I can never replace what I had. And if I can replace it, why should I even try if this is what’s going to happen to my car.

I’m looking at all 5 listings for E39 M5s in Canada to replace what I lost. None of them have Dinan bits. None of them have cool, valuable colors or the audio upgrades like mine. And they’re priced from $18.k to $30k. I’m going to see if I can use this to get at least somewhat of a fair settlement.

If you have any advice on dealing with grief, insurance and finding a cheap, reliable but fun replacement till I can afford to have an amazing car as my second driver, please let me know.

My bird IS the word > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 18:38

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What’s your thoughts on buying the car back from the insurance company to steal the parts you want?

Tapas > My bird IS the word 05/26/2020 at 18:42

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I don’t have the space, tools or skills to do an interior replacement.

Plus, this would mean I’d have to get another M5 from the smaller settlement . And buy a daily.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 18:45

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sorry to hear that. maybe take a bit more time and get your thoughts together, focus on your wellbe ing , before jumping into the replacement search. By the sounds of it you have a nasty injury that is going to take a while to heal. 

atfsgeoff > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 18:49

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ask the insurance company to find you another E39 M5 in comparable condition with comparable miles, they’re gonna hem and haw when the realize just how much your car was worth. And probably raise your rates on the new one because of it.

Cash Rewards > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:03

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Damn, I'm sorry to hear this

wafflesnfalafel > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:04

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T hat f’n bites.... take it easy. The relationship with a car can be very tight and physical, especially with one like that M5. Some folks might call BS, but it’s totally true. And as corny as it sounds - it is absolutely better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Honestly, most of us were jealous as heck of that car. I only got to sit in one once and I still remember it vividly.

Tapas > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 05/26/2020 at 19:06

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Thank you for the kind words .

Insurance is trying to rush the appraisal and settlement, after which I won’t have a rental anymore. I’m gonna try to  let it go and focus on myself.

404 - User No Longer Available > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:08

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Considered buying it from insurance and rebuilding it yourself?

EDIT: Argh.. I just saw someone suggested this already.

Tapas > atfsgeoff 05/26/2020 at 19:10

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Good point. I already know my rates are going way up.

I’m hoping that if I buy a not expensive/special car next, I can sort of combat that.

Tapas > wafflesnfalafel 05/26/2020 at 19:14

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Thank you for saying that. You’re absolutely right.

I’m so happy I had what I had. I wish I had more time to appreciate it.

I loved going on a rip with you back then . Honestly, e njoying something like that with friends  made my day.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:14

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Carsoffortlanley May know better, but I would think there is a window to make a decision. It  isn’t in their interest for you to make a decision when your thinking and emotions are level.

Tapas > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 05/26/2020 at 19:17

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I s ee.

I’ll reach out to him and see what I can learn.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:30

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Shit, that sucks. Sorry for your loss. As far as a new car goes, maybe a manual 2020 Accord Sport 2.0T? They come in an extremely nice blue, have the Civic Type R’s engine and can be ECU-tuned to be more powerful than the CTR itself, the 6 speed manual is good, and they are comfortable and well designed as far as tech, looks and function goes. Although not as special as your M5 was, it's a relatively cheap, reliable and with the right amount of tech compared to most overloaded cars nowadays. 

dogisbadob > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:31

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Oh no! I hope you recover soon, sorry you were hurt , and sorry for your loss :(

Just to clarify: was your dog killed in this crash?

Since you’re in Canada, you get lots of cool ars we don’t get, such as:
Nissan X-Trail
Chevy Orlando
Mercedes B-Class (we only get electric)
Mercedes C-Class wagon
Touyota Echo hatchback
Kia Rondo second-gen (both auto and manual!) (we only got first-gen, and even then auto-only)
you also got the Mazda 5 longer than we did
Mazda 323 Neo

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:49

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Man, sorry to hear that. One thing to consider... if you’re going to replace it with the same gen of M5, consider buying your wrecked car back from the insurance for the parts (assuming it can’t be rebuilt) .

But that’s only worthwhile if you have somewhere to store it for free or really cheap.

Regarding the settlement, use what’s actually for sale as leverage when you’re talking to the adjuster. 

jimz > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:50

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the injury is probably contributing mightily to your grim mood. but for losing your car, you came out of what is usually the most injurious collision (t-bone) without serious injury. the human spine is not really meant to bend much side-to-side, which is why t-bone impacts can be so bad.

your car did what it was designed to do.  protect you. 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:51

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Dang that sucks hardcore. Not something you could either have a direct replacement for or maybe even want one. It just wouldn’t be the same. Do you think the payout will be good?

Are you okay? T bone accidents are brutal.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:54

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I’m sorry, that sucks.

I have no idea how Canadian insurance works, but as others have said, talk to CarsOfFortLangley, he's involved in the insurance industry up there, and also lost a car to theft last year and had to deal with insurance.  

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:55

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Oh buddy, that sucks so much :(

I hope they damn well give you a fair settlement....

I completely understand the attachment to a car. I have the same irrational attachment to my Accent, despite it just being a shitty Korean ecobox. I’ll be spending probably around $1000 to have some rust repaired (mostly the shitty repair job the last rust guy did re-fixed properly) in the first week of June...the car is probably only worth $2-3K at this point, but I don’t care. I love it anyway.

It was a gorgeous car...sorry for your loss mate :(

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 19:55

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How can your rates go up if you weren’t at fault? I’ve never dealt with a bad accident, so excuse my ignorance. :(

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/26/2020 at 20:02

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They’re considering me at fault. I had a stop sign, they didn’t. I didn’t see anyone coming because of construction and scaffolding on the corner I was trying to look past. I creep ahead and boom.

I t doesn’t make any sense to me, because I have no other option if I want to check the intersection.

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:04

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This sucks man. I’ve been there and it’s no . fun. 

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/26/2020 at 20:05

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I know how you feel. I’d feel bad about having to spend money on it. But I forgot about it and enjoyed every drive.

Tapas > Snuze: Needs another Swede 05/26/2020 at 20:06

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Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss too, man.

Tapas > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 05/26/2020 at 20:08

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No direct replacement is exactly right.

I’m not that far into the process yet. I hope they offer me a fair value, but I suspect that they wont.

I am terrible mentally and physically. My injuries are covered. I hope things will get better over time.

Tapas > jimz 05/26/2020 at 20:09

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Yeah, you’re right. S pinal injuries are no joke.

I’m glad I was in something well engineered and beefy.

Captain of the Enterprise > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:15

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Hey I’m really glad you’re okay. I got t-boned a few years ago at 50 mph and wasn’t okay for a few days.  I’m pretty sure I was concussed. I would try to take it easy for a few days and see how you feel then. I’m sorry about your car, this could be an opportunity to get something you may even like more though. I wish you the best. 

Tapas > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 05/26/2020 at 20:21

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I am considering buying another E39 M5, but I’m still not sure.

If I do decide to get one, I will definitely buy my car back. I know how hard it is to get replacement parts for these cars.

And yeah, I’ll be using the listings.

Tapas > dogisbadob 05/26/2020 at 20:24

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Right off the bat, no was killed. I don’t have a pet right now , but it feels like I lost one.

Thanks for saying that and for the suggestions! I would love a C Class wagon :)

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:26

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Is there any way to argue? Are there pictures of the scene that prove you had no sight lines and had no way of knowing any vehicles were coming without pulling out?

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:27

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Exactly....I spend when and where I can to keep her going. She’s in good shape otherwise. We know getting into this hobby it’s not going to be cheap...

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/26/2020 at 20:32

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In addition to the scaffolding covering up the side walk corner, t here was a huge pile of gravel that is not there any more. But I will see if I can find pictures etc.

Tapas > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 05/26/2020 at 20:33

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Thanks for the kind words. That’s a good recommendation!

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/26/2020 at 20:43

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You’re right!

gettingoldercarguy > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:43

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I’m pinging cars of fort Langley. He’s exactly the person you need to talk to.

Tapas > gettingoldercarguy 05/26/2020 at 20:44

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Thanks! I did the same as well.

dogisbadob > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:48

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oops, I misread the post, sorry :(

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:49

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You’re welcome.

Thanks? Wait... wh at did I lose?

Tapas > dogisbadob 05/26/2020 at 20:50

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No worries. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if that ever happened.

I’m glad both me and the other guy walked away from this.

Tapas > Snuze: Needs another Swede 05/26/2020 at 20:54

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Whoops I added that sentence to the wrong comment. My bad.

dogisbadob > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 20:57

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Glad to hear both of you walked away from it.

And yeah, I like those Canada-only cars we didn’t get down here, and I always encourage Canadians to buy them :o)

Also, I can’t believe I forgot to list the Nissan Micra! And Hyundai used to offer the manual Elantra GT with the big sunroof until last year (they just stopped offering it like that in Canada—the US never got the manual+sunroof EGT), and you guys get an exclusive orange color for the GT that we don’t get i n the US

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 21:04

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Hey, reach out to me re: the claim at my user name at Gmail.

I get paid to help people with claims

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 21:35

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It is fine to feel your feelings. This is a safe place to care about cars.

I’m glad you made it out in one piece, more less. But keep an eye on yourself closely while you heal, you might be concussed which will amplify depression, situational or otherwise.

Chin up, the eventual replacement will be new and exciting.

Roadkilled > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 21:48

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My first suggestion is get something that is cheap and reliable as a short-term replacement. When I say cheap, I mean cheap. Assume it’s something that you won’t drive for too long.

It will take a little time for the shock of the accident to wear off. If you get another E39 right away, you are going to worry about it and driving won’t be fun.

If you give yourself a few months, you will have more options for replacements. Something more appealing may come up for sale that’s better than what is available right now. If you are lucky, you can flip the cheap car for close to what you paid for it.

A little time may let you think about what you really want. If you get another E39, will you always compare it to the one you lost? Will it always feel like it’s just a replacement?

There are a lot of fun and interesting cars out there. With more time, you may have a chance to test drive something different. You may find a different model or even a different make that you like. That could be your entry into a whole new car community. It doesn’t mean you would have to leave the BMW community behind.

If you try finding a replacement now, you may be making a purchase based only on emotion. If you are willing to wait just a little, you may find that you buy something that will make you happier when you drive it.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 22:04

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Well I’ll be praying for you, man. Gotta look on the bright side. I hope you pull through without any lasting damage.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 22:13

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Please do! I can't see how you could be at fault if you had no other way to see if an incoming vehicle was coming...

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 22:14

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Keep us apprised bud! Who is your insurance with if you don't mind my asking?

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 22:18

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No worries. 

HoustonRunner > Tapas 05/26/2020 at 22:34

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Nooooooooooooooooo!

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/27/2020 at 00:16

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Will do. Desjardins (used to be State Farm in Canada) / Certas.

Tapas > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 05/27/2020 at 00:16

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Thank you for that.

Tapas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/27/2020 at 00:23

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You’re right....thanks for the advice.

Tapas > Roadkilled 05/27/2020 at 00:26

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You make a very good point.

I am leaning toward something more practical, cheap and reliable. At the same time, I don’t want the new car to depress me...I don’t know where that middle ground is. But that’s what I want to find.

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/27/2020 at 00:27

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Yes! I want to figure out how to convince my insurance of that. I’m hoping carsoffortlangley will point me in the right direction.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 01:07

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Perhaps that would make a great daily that is also safe and reliable that can open up opportunities for a different weekend car if you like. Something you might not want to drive every day. The Accord is a seriously nice car and supposedly quite the sleeper.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 06:04

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Ah, never dealt with them before...just Intact and Economical for me (with Intact atm)

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 06:05

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Were the police involved? Did they take pics of the scene? If you didn’t, they might have some?

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/27/2020 at 06:54

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I took pictures so I'll look through them...

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 05/27/2020 at 06:55

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I see, got it.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 07:53

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buy a Chevy SS

:D

DipodomysDeserti > My bird IS the word 05/27/2020 at 08:02

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My brother was allowed to pull aftermarket parts off his car when it got totaled. The insurance guy didn’t care. They’re just gonna scrap it anyways. He had a veggie oil conversion on it.

nerd_racing > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 09:09

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Perhaps consider an Audi V10 powered sedan instead?

nerd_racing > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 09:24

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I can relate in a similar sense. I built a car when I was in college. It was nowhere near as rare or expensive as your car, but it was something I built from a beat up hull of a crappy car. I had swapped in an engine with almost twice the stock power, a heavier duty transmission to handle it, short gearing, rewired the entire car to run the upgraded engine, redid the suspension so it would handle, upgraded the brakes, and even started working on the aesthetics of the car. It was the epitome of a rat rod to me, but it looked like a broke ass beater car to everyone else.

I spun it out on ice on the QEW outside of Hamilton Ontario on the day after thanksgiving (U.S.) and put it into a guard rail head on. There was a block of concrete right behind where I hit the guard rail so the car was toast. I had just changed the oil and installed fog lights that morning too. I was heart broken about losing the car. I wasn’t out a lot of money, but I was out all of the experiences and it was a fun car to drive. But the car did save me in the end. The seat belt and air bags did their job and I walked away with a minor scratch here and there, and a seat belt bruise across my chest.

I’ve owned many more cars since, much nicer, faster, and better handling, but I will always remember the 95 Aspire that I built and that saved me when I crashed it. Cherish the good memories, be thankful you are unharmed and can live to make even more good memories.

If you can, grab a memento from the car to keep on your wall or in a shadow box. It might be tough for a while, but in the long run, it will be a good reminder of the great times you had with the car.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 10:28

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NOOOOOO!!! I’m so, so sorry...

It’s amazing how a car can become part of the family.

Glad you’re okay.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 10:29

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Mazda hatchback or similar ? Light, manual, chuck- able.

Tapas > pip bip - choose Corrour 05/27/2020 at 13:46

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I want to! They never sold them in Canada :(

Tapas > nerd_racing 05/27/2020 at 13:47

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If I was a millionaire, I would.

Tapas > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 05/27/2020 at 13:49

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I will consider it....

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 14:00

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The new Corolla hatch seems to be fairly fun with the manual as well.

Milky > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 17:20

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Oh shit, I missed this. Sorry this happened. I hope dealing with insurance and the new car search goes as well as it can .

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 17:23

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Can’t you strip your car of the bits you want. I’d make chairs out of the seats, everything. Sorry to hear that!

TheRealBicycleBuck > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 17:54

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I’ve read through the comments and there’s a lot of good advice here. It is just a car, even if it was somewhat special. One thing to remember is that performance is fleeting. There will always be something better on the horizon.

As with all kinds of grief, this too shall pass. 

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 17:56

4

M.T. Blake > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 18:02

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Buy it back after you get the settlement and stuff the drivetrain into a 5-series wagon.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 18:41

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Sorry to hear and glad you’re OK. You can’t replace the car exactly as it was, but you can move onto something newer and even more interesting. F or now, a speedy recovery to you.

Mid Engine > dogisbadob 05/27/2020 at 18:43

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I had a B200 Turbo for three years, fantastic car. Everything folds up like a Swiss army knife, and the panoramic sun roof was immense. Gre at car.

Mid Engine > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 18:47

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What province do you live in? I know Quebec is no-f au lt

dogisbadob > Mid Engine 05/27/2020 at 18:48

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was it manual? :o)

Tapas > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 05/27/2020 at 18:58

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Thank you

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 19:03

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I just read this, ooh no :(( But im glad that you are physically OK

Like others have said tho, there will be other cars...Although having driven an E90M3, I know its tough to replace the blue roundel machines...

May I suggest 911? A 997 would be a good match to the E3 9M5 I think.

Tapas > M.T. Blake 05/27/2020 at 19:08

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This is the best idea ever!

Tapas > TheRealBicycleBuck 05/27/2020 at 19:12

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I agree and feel supported by you all.

I hope I get to the other side soon.

Tapas > ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability 05/27/2020 at 19:15

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Thank you.

I think I’m done with special cars. At least for now.

If I do get a special car, it will be a second car and not daily driven.

T he guilt of losing the one very, very rare car is weighing on me .

Tapas > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 05/27/2020 at 19:17

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I have thought about it. But I have no tools or space or skills to do that work.

Tapas > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 05/27/2020 at 19:19

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This gif captures my feelings exactly.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 19:27

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If you could find another M5 maybe they could pull the parts and install on the new one? Seems a shame to let anything just go. I guess it depends what it’s worth. I would sell anything I could off the old car. 

Chariotoflove > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 20:04

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I hope you heal well and without lasting  complications. I’m grateful that you only lost a car, and I hope you can find one that will be just as fun.

Cash Rewards > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 20:30

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Middle ground sucks. I ended up with an old Miata and a cpo Nissan leaf for commuting. Commit to both ends

Longtime Lurker > Tapas 05/27/2020 at 22:10

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Tapas > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 05/27/2020 at 23:20

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Yeah, I’ll definitely look into it.

I’ll sell the car as is to someone who can part it out or needs it.

Mid Engine > dogisbadob 05/28/2020 at 12:27

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Nope, at the time they didn’t offer three pedals unfortunately.