Omnomnomnom!

"user314" (user314) 02/27/2020 at 10:29 • Filed to: this is why you are fat, Oversteer my bagel, einstein bros, Breakfast, breakfastlopnik

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The Bagelrito is the latest breakfast innovation from Einstein Bros. Bagels. Substantial in size and high in flavor, it’s loaded with two cage-free eggs, thick-cut bacon, turkey sausage, three cheeses, hash browns, salsa and green chilies in a flour tortilla, all hand-wrapped in Asiago bagel dough and baked fresh. Its substantial size, high flavor and portability has earned it its slogan: “big, bold and easy to hold.”

WilliamsSW > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:38

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I would really prefer this without the bagel part at all, otherwise looks tasty!

getFuckedHerb > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:40

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8/10 would eat. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:43

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I would stuff that in my orifice. 

Notchback88 > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:45

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Baby-town frolics. 

Textured Soy Protein > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:46

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Did nobody check that slogan against the "things that sound like they should be in porn" list?

Ash78, voting early and often > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:47

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I believe emergency meetings are being held in both Jerusalem and Mexico City as we speak.

ttyymmnn > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:48

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user314 > Textured Soy Protein 02/27/2020 at 10:48

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At this point, I’d say “Yes, and we got a hit, so use it!”

MonkeePuzzle > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:57

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how companies dont run their branding and advertising plans past a middle schooler for confirmation is beyond me.

I’m looking at you Dick’s Sporting Goods, and BJ’s restaurant.

MonkeePuzzle > user314 02/27/2020 at 10:57

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does it come in chicken parm flavour?

Notchback88 > user314 02/27/2020 at 11:00

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Also:

“Big, bold, and easy to hold” - title of your sex tape!

user314 > Ash78, voting early and often 02/27/2020 at 11:03

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I thought they were already s impatico ?

Ash78, voting early and often > user314 02/27/2020 at 11:04

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Until this gauntlet was thrown down. A big, bready gauntlet filled with deliciousness.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > MonkeePuzzle 02/27/2020 at 11:10

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My son: I have a 69 in Math!

Me: Nice.

For Sweden > user314 02/27/2020 at 11:11

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smobgirl > MonkeePuzzle 02/27/2020 at 11:18

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We jokingly type  it as ****s sporting goods or say “bleep” in my family. 

MonkeePuzzle > smobgirl 02/27/2020 at 11:20

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likely something that they have now rectified, but originally the website dicks(dot)com did NOT got to the sporting goods retailer’s website. A mistake which was innocently made by a friend’s wife, much to the hilarity of all present.

smobgirl > MonkeePuzzle 02/27/2020 at 11:24

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Oh NO.

My sweet innocent college roommate tried to google the movie Snatch when it came out. That did not go well.

MonkeePuzzle > smobgirl 02/27/2020 at 11:27

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It blew my mind that there was a Vin Diesel movie called “XXX” at one point... THATS SO DUMB YOU MORONS!!! NO ONE CAN GOOGLE YOUR MOVIE NOW!!!

* googles ‘vin diesel xxx movie’ * OH MY!!!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > user314 02/27/2020 at 11:36

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Perfect time for the “advertising guy” to jump in.

There really should be a teenager on staff. If they chuckle or laugh - kill the line.

We’ve had stuff slip out that after it went we looked back on and would say OH SHIT - SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT. But sometimes you’re too close to the project to think of things in a different way.

That all being said...this one’s pretty obvious lol

PowderHound > user314 02/27/2020 at 11:37

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There’s an Einstein’s right by me. Might have to test this out in the near future

jimz > smobgirl 02/27/2020 at 11:56

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for a while there I was calling it “Prick’s Sporting Goods” but got too used to it, so I had to stop.

Textured Soy Protein > user314 02/27/2020 at 12:01

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I, a Jew, have Mexican Jewish cousins. That branch of the family tree emigrated from Europe to Mexico instead of the US. 

Textured Soy Protein > Ash78, voting early and often 02/27/2020 at 12:01

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Um , bagels have nothing to do with Israel. Try NYC or Montreal. 

haveacarortwoorthree2 > user314 02/27/2020 at 12:05

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Good lord, 940 calories. I just had my second heart attack looking at this monstrosity. 

gin-san - shitpost specialist > user314 02/27/2020 at 12:18

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This would be amazing as a weekend breakfast item. 

Kiltedpadre > user314 02/27/2020 at 12:50

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My only regret is that I didn’t see this before making a bologna sandwich for lunch. The companies only location in my area  is right down the road.

ranwhenparked > Textured Soy Protein 02/27/2020 at 21:23

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He’s getting at the fact that bagels are stereotypically a Jewish food. To the point that until sometime in the 1970s or 1980s, they were pretty hard, if not impossible, to find in any area without a significant Jewish population. 

Textured Soy Protein > ranwhenparked 02/27/2020 at 21:32

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I know what he’s getting at. I’m Jewish. Jewish  and Israeli are two completely separate things, and there are plenty of parts of Jewish culture that have nothing to do with Israel. One such thing is bagels. You can probably get a bagel in Jerusalem but referring to it as a hotbed of bageldom is like saying the best Mexican food comes from Minnesota.