My life as a person of Polish descent

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 01/28/2020 at 19:54 • Filed to: shitpost

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Watch with subtitles on

jimz > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 20:02

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can relate. I have a Polish last name which is pronounced almost perfectly phonetically in English ( not exactly, technically there’s an  in it) but as soon as anyone sees the “ski” at the end they totally lose the plot.

it doesn’t help that the etymology of my last name evolved into several forms, all meaning roughly the same thing.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > jimz 01/28/2020 at 20:05

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I’m a Ski too! And when people aren’t writing a Y instead of I they’re pronouncing a  phonetical A as if it were an I

jimz > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 20:09

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at the risk of “outing” myself a bit more, my last name is Zaremski. near as I can tell, the basis of that family name means “from Zarby” (pronounced kind of like “zarenmba”) which describes several possible places in Poland. So, when you get down to it, Zaremski, Zarenski, Zaremba, Jaremski, Zarembski, all have a common root.

but that doesn’t stop people from thinking my name is Zermanski, Zermaninski, Zeramanski, or god knows what. Some guy in high school called me “Zamarooski” but he was just being a dick.

edit: and I spend a lot of money here: https://www.srodek.com/

ranwhenparked > jimz 01/28/2020 at 20:12

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I have an Italian name that nobody can seem to say correctly. Always wind up with an extra “r” or “l” in it, which is weird, because there’s   “r” or “l” in there to begin with. I sometimes just tell people its “Smith” and leave it at that. 

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > jimz 01/28/2020 at 20:13

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Mine is Devanski. People either say Davinski or write Devansky. I don’t know why because it’s probably the easiest polish name I’ve encountered. No silent letters or anything.

After my great great grandfather died all his kids got together and decided to “Americanize ” the name. I’ve seen his gravestone and it had five consonants in a row.

jimz > ranwhenparked 01/28/2020 at 20:15

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the only thing that screws me up with Italian is remembering how many “c”s mean the sound of “ch” or “k”.  

Variance > jimz 01/28/2020 at 20:42

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I dodged a bit of a bullet, myself, since my Polish half is my mom’s side. Otherwise I’d be a Dembski or Przybylski; I can only imagine how much trouble people would’ve had with the latter.

ClassicDatsunDebate > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 20:43

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Hay guys Is this the holopchi and pedaheh appreciation station?

My Polish is maternal so at least I inherited a last name with all the vowels in the right spots....and not too many of them 

fintail > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 20:56

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I’ m kind of the opposite. I have a very short (4 letter) single-syllable Germanic/Dutch last name that seems to gain letters when many people try to pronounce it.  Reading is a funny thing.

Michael > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 21:16

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Mine ends with "czyc" and people cannot handle it. Is "y" a consonant?

Michael > Variance 01/28/2020 at 21:17

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Always said I should've married a Hawaiian person and merged vowels where appropriate

AkursedX > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 21:36

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Even though my Polish last-name is only 7 letters, it is still mispronounced nearly every time a person tries. As long as it's close, I'll answer to it and stopped trying to correct people years ago.

66P1800inpieces > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 23:07

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I’ve been married a good number of years and recently went with my wife to the local embassy to update her passport to her married named. She is chatting away with the person and I hear her say her last name. And I am like whatttt? Turns out she uses the phonetic English version for day to day transactions and I never had reason to here her say it correctly. T echnically I married a person without really   knowing her last name.

66P1800inpieces > jimz 01/28/2020 at 23:12

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I live about 30 mins from a Polish enclave where even the store signs are in Polish. Decent delis with fresh Polish food  and tons of great items. They even have refrigerated stuff like butter and cheeses.   The dinners there used to be $6.50 or so and it was enough for two people.  I think they are now at $8.50.  

66P1800inpieces > fintail 01/28/2020 at 23:14

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My friend of Polish decent has a 4 letter last name, two are z’s. None are vowels. 

66P1800inpieces > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/28/2020 at 23:27

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I don’t think there are subtitles. This was a bit hokey but funny when my wife translated it. Basically, this guy wants to get something done but the paperwork is inane. Like do you have the form certifying the other form is made with EU approved ink. And on and on.  I guess it is not name related but is Polish related and I don’t think I’ll otherwise get a chance to share it. 

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

fintail > 66P1800inpieces 01/28/2020 at 23:33

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I am sure he has heard “I’d like t o buy a vowel” a mere few million times.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > ClassicDatsunDebate 01/29/2020 at 00:22

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I had similar luck. Ended up with just a hillbilly/redneck last name that is constantly mispronounced and misspelled, but at least it isn’t Eastern European (though I’m half Eastern European) . Most of my ancestors on my maternal side didn’t trust vowels.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > jimz 01/29/2020 at 00:31

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I’m sorry. So glad that the Eastern European is on my mom’s side, though at least my mom got a last name that is readily pronounceable in English (male line to her father was Czech) . Her mom’s side and others on her father’s side got some crazy mispronounced/unpronounceable last names. Names with like one vowel in 10.

At least I can make foods that either repulse or astound people.

ClassicDatsunDebate > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 01/29/2020 at 00:59

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Lol. ‘Didn’t trust vowels’ love it.

My father’s side is Icelandic and Ukrainian so I have the perfect storm of Eastern European fatalist indifference plus Scandinavian superiority.

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/29/2020 at 02:18

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We’ve had to get used to some awkward names since Poland joined the E.U. Some of the names are impossible for us.

Some some of it is on our part. We have a colleague called Katar zyna, she shortened it to Kasia which is easy, it’s simply ‘ cash-a’, but can some of my colleagues get it, nope, they call her Kat. When I ask if anyone has seen Kasia, more than half the time they ask who is that. I roll my eyes each time.

While I was over in Poland we went to a place called Oleszyce. I asked how it was pronounced and had to ask again without smiling too much. As it’s pronounced Olesh-itza, which saying it in English sounds like all-the-shits-are.

I t’s like the Polish got together with the Welsh and the Irish and went, ‘lets fuck with the English speakers brains’.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Svend 01/29/2020 at 06:21

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Most of the Poles in the U.S. came over pre-WWII, so most families have anglicized their names by now. My original family name had like five consonants in a row but now it’s mostly spelled phonetically.

I’m technically Austrian, as Poland didn’t exist at the time my great great grandparents emigrated. 

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/29/2020 at 06:50

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Pretty much the same here. The Poles that came over in the advent and during WWII anglicised their names but the new Poles haven’t yet. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Variance 01/29/2020 at 09:39

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Please help me pronounce Przybylski.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > 66P1800inpieces 01/29/2020 at 09:42

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LOL!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > 66P1800inpieces 01/29/2020 at 09:43

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Variance > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 01/29/2020 at 23:30

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I’m pretty sure I remember my mom pronouncing it “prih-zah-bill-skee”, but given that she was a couple generations after the family emigrated, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a bastardization.

A quick google search seems to indicate that “pur-bill-skee” or “shi-bill-skee” might be more correct (apparently the first sound is something like “pshi”, with a mostly-silent P).

Language is weird.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Variance 01/30/2020 at 09:28

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That it is!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 11/16/2020 at 10:14

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Pri bilski, probably