Old Man Happenings (fun with language evolution)

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 05/28/2019 at 13:47 • Filed to: None

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In the past week, the following things have happened:

1. The lady cutting my hair kept referring to people as “Extra” and I thought it was condescending shorthand for “Extra Special” (or “Special”) and I kept wondering why she was calling her own mother mentally challenged. Moral of the story: Don’t ever try to infer a meaning .

2. Yesterday I drove through a Starbucks and ordered a Grande Latte with an extra shot of Espresso, whole milk, one Splenda. LIKE A BOSS. Then I said “Same thing for my wife, but skim milk instead.” *blank stare from barista* * looks at keyboard* *looks at me * “ We have fat free milk, is that ok ?” Damn you, Big Milk and your ever-changing marketing terms !

3. The lady who rents our old house is in her late 50s, but has 20-something daughters. By the third time she texted me “lkr ” over the past 6 months I had to look it up (It’s “IKR” for “I know, right?” but without a comma or question mark because FML and Living Language can just suck it).

For Sweden > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:02

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You need to cancel your hairdresser and yeet the coffee

E90M3 > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:05

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I’m almost 30 and I know that because I have to look up new slang terms on the internet now. 

ttyymmnn > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:06

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Don’t you have teenage kids? If so, you can just ask them. That said, I feel your pain.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:11

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1. If you consistently ask what the inference is, the irony is THEY think you’re retarded.

2. English is ridiculous and it’s honestly too confusing for most people to have multiple names for the same thing. It won’t fit in their brains, they have to have room for all those acronyms.

3. It took me forever to figure out SMH (well, like 30 minutes of googling) but keep in mind that despite talking to RCR fans who average age 18 or so, new terminology emerges at the rate of about every quarter or so. So I’m in the trenches, and honestly it all feels kind of stupid.

4. My personal strategy has been to recycle phrases I’ve heard from funny things in the 80's and 90's and watch as nobody young has heard them before. It helps to be obscure.

The Ghost of Oppo > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:19

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I still think ‘ extra’ is meant to be condescending.  

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:23

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pls xplane “extra”

412GTI > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:24

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The irony of a Starbucks employee not knowing what skim milk is yet they make us say “grande” instead of “medium”. 

HammerheadFistpunch > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/28/2019 at 14:30

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now you're on the trolly

vicali > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/28/2019 at 14:32

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Don’t have a cow man.

diplodicus forgot his password > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:38

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I read the last one as if the woman had 20 or so daughters not that her daughters were 20 something years old. Thought jesus that’s a lot kids.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 14:44

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my daughter keeps saying y eet

i figure this means shes had a stroke

Ash78, voting early and often > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 05/28/2019 at 14:54

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Apparently it’s like “Way over the top” or sometimes “intense.” Or just excessive in everything they do or say.

I had to consult the internet and my 19-y-o niece on that.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 15:55

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Like Chris Harris’ “mega”? 

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/28/2019 at 16:15

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Bogus!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/28/2019 at 16:21

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Totally Tubular

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/28/2019 at 16:37

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Far out man!

Mid Engine > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 16:38

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replace every word in the English language with “literally”. Now you sound like a millenial. Bonus if you use literally several times in one sentence. 

Ash78, voting early and often > Mid Engine 05/28/2019 at 16:40

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I’ve had to refrain from using the word as much as I used to, specifically because of this trend.

It took me a decade (the 90s) to stop using “like” 10 times in every sentence. I’ll be damned if I’m going back to being a cliché!

Mid Engine > Ash78, voting early and often 05/28/2019 at 16:41

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It’s the preferred word of the mouth breathers these days, if you want to spout bullshit so long as you add in a “literally , well then it must be true. Literally is the exact opposite of fake news, literally.