Flathead County Police Blotter

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland) 05/08/2019 at 12:17 • Filed to: police blotter

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6:41 a.m. Someone woke up and pocket-dialed 911.

8:32 a.m. A Whitefish woman was speaking to her mother when her phone randomly dialed 911 and added the dispatcher to the call.

9:01 a.m. Two dogs were chasing a deer around the county dump.

9:05 a.m. A cyclist going for a morning ride pocket-dialed 911.

9:10 a.m. A Bigfork resident reported that someone was breaking into their barn and stealing items.

10:23 a.m. Someone found a backpack full of drugs in Somers.

10:45 a.m. Bigfork students were sharing inappropriate photos. School officials notified law enforcement and, perhaps more embarrassingly, their mothers.

11:10 a.m. Someone found a needle outside the sheriff’s office.

11:33 a.m. Drivers were speeding through a work zone.

12:04 p.m. Someone without a handicap sticker was parked in a handicap spot.

12:17 p.m. A Columbia Falls dog was attacked by another dog that escaped its fenced-in yard. The owner of the victim was wondering how they might get help paying the bill.

1:42 p.m. A Columbia Falls teen punched her boyfriend.

1:47 p.m. A Whitefish woman called 911 because her dog wouldn’t stop barking and she was concerned that she would get yet another barking citation. Apparently, she has no way of shutting her dog up.

2:23 p.m. A man plugging his phone in accidentally called 911.

3:13 p.m. A vehicle keeps driving off the road in Somers.

3:19 p.m. Tires were stolen in Martin City.

4:05 p.m. A dog was tied to a telephone poll.

4:52 p.m. A Kalispell resident was upset that someone had burned weeds on their property.

5:13 p.m. A Kalispell man called 911 because he was sick and tired of his neighbors crossing his property and using his water. He said if the neighbors did it one more time “there was going to be a war.” Concerned about the threat, the dispatcher asked what exactly he meant by “war.” The caller said it was more likely going to be a war of words, but it would be a war nonetheless.

5:14 p.m. Someone was doing drugs in a hotel parking lot in Evergreen.

5:25 p.m. A Kalispell resident said her neighbor was calling her names.

5:39 p.m. A Kalispell man said he found a glass beaker on his property. He said he would throw it out himself.

7:19 p.m. A camper burst into flames in Olney.

7:32 p.m. The person who was doing drugs in an Evergreen parking lot was asked to leave again.

7:57 p.m. A dead deer was in the middle of the road.

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/08/2019 at 12:31

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Bigfork students were sharing inappropriate photos. School officials notified law enforcement and, perhaps more embarrassingly, their mothers.

No perhaps about it.

Someone without a handicap sticker was parked in a handicap spot.

Impou nd the car after first using it for burnouts and rallycross.

A dead deer was in the middle of the road.

The two dogs were successful then.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Chariotoflove 05/08/2019 at 12:34

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Teenagers looking at porn? Never!

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/08/2019 at 12:45

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Back in my day, all we had was the Sears catalog, and we were glad to get it!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Chariotoflove 05/08/2019 at 12:48

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You never got an old issue of playboy or penthouse from your uncle Ricky? Or better yet, roadside porn, the coveted miraculously found porn along the road on in an alley behind a seedy motel ?

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/08/2019 at 13:03

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My first exposure to  porn was when I was babysitting one afternoon for a neighbor, and the mailman brought the mail to the door. In with the bills were one National Geographic and one Playboy...the Bo Derek issue. I barely made it to the bathroom.

But let me tell you a story. I was maybe 15, and the house about three doors down from my buddy’s was up for sale. The family had moved out, and one of those lock boxes with the key was left on the door for the real estate agent. My buddy found a way in through the kitchen window and we explored, because 15 and trespassing seemed an exciting adventure.

The house was completely bare, except the attic, in which there were just two file boxes. Inside these boxes, arranged in chronological order of their issue, was a copy of every Playboy to that date. Each was in mint condition.

We about lost our minds.

We helped ourselves to a few select issues to take with us (the Farah Fawcett issue springs to mind) because we didn’t have the balls to just take the boxes. We somehow thought the neighbors would see us carrying them away, and we’d be busted. A week or so later, we went back for more, and the boxes were gone. I like to imagine the gentleman of the house came back for them when his wife wasn’t with him.

Nowadays, everything is just a few mouse clicks away, and all you have to do is remember to clear your browser history. I don’t think kids these days appreciate what they have.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Chariotoflove 05/08/2019 at 13:20

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Attic porn, that’s quality right there. 

sony1492 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/08/2019 at 16:27

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It's amazing what people will dial 911 for