You ever just find the worst house?

"Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)" (bman76-4) 03/14/2019 at 22:48 • Filed to: None

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Because jesus christ look at this abomination that I just found.

There is literally nothing right with this thing

(y es, those are the HVAC units and gas meter in a dead space on the front of the house)

0/10 should be bulldozed

bob and john > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 22:54

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I mean...a garage for the cars and one for the bikes.

facw > bob and john 03/14/2019 at 22:55

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That would require buying not one, but two terrible houses.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > bob and john 03/14/2019 at 22:56

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It’s a duplex, so you only get one.

facw > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 22:56

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This thing keeps getting worse the more I look at it...

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > facw 03/14/2019 at 22:57

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They did nothing right.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:00

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Trust me when I say this. That is not anywhere near the worst home I have ever seen as far as design. Shit, I may see something tomorrow that would make that thing look like the Taj Mahal. I’ve viewed over a hundred homes over the past year, and that looks like a fairly typical side by side villa. The location of the gas meters and C/A units is weird, but not a “deal killer”.

facw > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:01

8

I mean that may be a little harsh. The roof went on top, which is good. The driveway connects the garage to the street, which is probably how you want to do it. But beyond that I’m reaching. I was going to say the numbers looked ok, but I’m not actually sure they are at the same heights, the left looks to be six bricks down from the top of the garage door while the right is five.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:01

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This makes the crap on McMansion Hell seem pretty decent by comparison.

I wonder if there’s a site similar MMH for “normal” houses. This one would fit in well if there was...

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:01

3

That makes it so much worse. It literally looks like a detached  garage/shop that had an addition at some point.

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:02

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says who?

ranwhenparked > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:04

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Wow, I mean, could they at least put in a fence or a wall or something  to screen the the compressors? And I’m not usually in favor of extraneous windows, but maybe stick one in each gable end - I mean, there’s no saving it, but they could at least have made an effort. 

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:06

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I may be broken but I am seeing a pointy penis with two balls.

I can only hope that the two future occupants agree on some excellent topiary to fulfill the promise of the design.

Urambo Tauro > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:08

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WHY don’t they MATCH? * eye twitching ensues*

Merfthemadmauler > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:08

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Hideous.

smobgirl > Urambo Tauro 03/14/2019 at 23:09

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That’s the worst part of it, and it’s all pretty awful.

MM54 > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:11

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I mean, if knock out the wall to make the duplex into a single house with 2x 2-car garages, cut in a window on that gable end (maybe both), put up a fence in front of the a/c, one garage becomes a shop and the other the “I park here” ... it would still be pretty bad. But better.

When I was house shopping there was a house for sale which up front sounds like my kind of place: 70's ranch, 3 bed, 2 bath, 3 or 4 acre lot, 6-car garage. Unfortunately the place was a dump, the 3 or 4 acres were 100% grass (no landscaping, or trees, just a field with a house ), and it was further from work than I wanted to be.

atfsgeoff > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:13

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Two big-ass garages and a concrete driveway

I’d live there

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 03/14/2019 at 23:13

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It has no street presence whatsoever, no views, no nothing. It is the epitome of how pathetic contractor designed are in the modern age.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > atfsgeoff 03/14/2019 at 23:14

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You’d also live in a hole in the ground, so your opinion is moot.

atfsgeoff > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:17

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No sir, that gives my opinion more weight

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:21

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Oh, I understand how bad contractor designed homes are now. But, I do real estate appraisals for a living. That isn’t the worst I’ve seen. I don’t know why on earth they’d put the C/A and gas meters right out front for all the world to see, but I’ve seen dumber things in my day. That said, I’m at least four beers and a few shots of Irish whiskey in this evening, so take what I say with some understanding that I’m pretty much wasted. :)

Chariotoflove > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:23

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Of this was the back of the duplex facing into the alley, it might be alright. It would depend on what the other side looks like. 

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Chariotoflove 03/14/2019 at 23:25

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It’s not, that’s the front.

Chariotoflove > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:28

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I get that. I’m saying that if you turned it around and made that the back, then it might not be horrible. 

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Chariotoflove 03/14/2019 at 23:29

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Chariotoflove > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:30

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Never mind. 

Under_Score > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:32

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It’s the inside that counts, especially when it comes to a house.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Under_Score 03/14/2019 at 23:34

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That is definitely not true.

shop-teacher > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:36

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Ewww

PS9 > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/14/2019 at 23:41

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-> Finds a house that is 80% garage

-> Posts house to oppo

-> Derides house as an ‘abomination’

Please exit the building after leave your oppo pass on the counter by the door. 

MrDakka > atfsgeoff 03/14/2019 at 23:47

1

I too would live there, but I'd probably fence/wall off that dead space, so people can't see the HVAC and meter.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > PS9 03/14/2019 at 23:58

4

It is absolutely an abomination of a house. This house is damn near everything wrong with America wrapped into one parody of a building.

It’s not 80% garage, it’s 100% bad.

Under_Score > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 00:22

1

If ugly makes it cheap, I’m in.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 00:45

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Duplexes not joined at the garage are all evil.

Svend > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 00:56

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Those are ugly.

While I approve of double width doors.

It looks more commercial residence than private residence.

AestheticsInMotion > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 01:03

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It could be worse. What if only one driveway connected to the street and the other one just made a 90° bend to the first driveway

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > atfsgeoff 03/15/2019 at 02:16

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I like it, too. All it needs is a hedge in front of the stuff in that dead space and some plants/grass in the opening between the driveways. I could deal with that for 4 cars worth of garage space.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 02:35

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No street-facing windows? Yikes. Something just feels shady and unsettling about this.

EDIT: I’m just noticing that the rooflines over the garage doors don’t match. This just gets worse.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 05:08

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jeez, whoever thought that was a good design needs to be executed

Kiltedpadre > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 06:27

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It’s definitely terrible, but I’ve seen far worse. When my ex and I were house shopping we walked into one house where the agent actually called the selling agent and threatened to report her to the board of realators because her listing included blatantly false information. Then the one where they put a toilet into a hall closet with no sink to call it a half bath. It still had a sliding closet door with no lock.

Then there was a duplex that had been converted to a single family home I looked at this winter. One of the selling points was a half bath in the basement that turned out to be a glass walled shower, no sink or toilet, with clear glass in full view of the entire basement and the stairs from the main floor.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 07:50

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that is terrible. I’m guessing an architect was not involved.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > OPPOsaurus WRX 03/15/2019 at 10:53

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There’s no way one was. That’s 100% a developer/contractor.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 03/15/2019 at 10:54

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Y’all are terrible people 

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > pip bip - choose Corrour 03/15/2019 at 10:55

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Whoever designed it thought it was cheap. That was their design criteria.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Under_Score 03/15/2019 at 10:56

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You’re why we can’t have nice (or even decent) things.

Under_Score > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 12:15

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Aren’t you in the Kansas-Missouri area? If it makes you feel better, there’s a higher chance that a tornado will destroy that duplex house within the next ten years than in other parts of the country.

OmerCarrothers333 > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 03/15/2019 at 12:48

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Various subdivisions in the Salt Lake City area feature homes with windows that were a goddamn afterthought.