I don't know where to begin

"Future next gen S2000 owner" (future-next-gen-s2000-owner) 03/11/2019 at 13:56 • Filed to: shitposting

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Found this article interesting.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Here are the highlights:

Torque is apparently somewhat of an insider term.

PRNDL is slang for the gear selector in an auto.

AWD/4x4/Four Wheel Drive are all basically the same thing.*

*Yes, I’m stoking the fires.

For Sweden > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:05

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GTFAC

wafflesnfalafel > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:09

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my BEV has a CHMSL

fintail > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:10

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I thought “Prindle” was taken from Mama’s Family.

DLO and facelift are necessary terms.

Ash78, voting early and often > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:10

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I remember when USA Today was synonymous with “Lame, pop culture news that is often wrong and always stupid”

Thankfully, today we have Buzzfeed, HuffPost, Business Insider, Twitter, Pop Sugar, Bustle, and so on.

USA Today is like The Economist now.

AestheticsInMotion > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:10

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I feel dumber having read that

TysMagic > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:11

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“Many people think ”four-wheel drive” or “4WD” means the vehicle has extra gears that help a vehicle to get through deep snow, mud and over rocks.”  

Alfalfa > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:12

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Cringey headline. Pretending you’re an expert at anything in front of someone who knows what they’re talking about will never help you.

Aside from that, most everything was a fair assessment as far as explaining to a "normal person", except that 4wd explanation. That was painful.

Future next gen S2000 owner > TysMagic 03/11/2019 at 14:14

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Many people are apparently dumb.

Future next gen S2000 owner > AestheticsInMotion 03/11/2019 at 14:15

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Welcome to the internet!

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > TysMagic 03/11/2019 at 14:17

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Many people are saying this...only the best people in fact. Believe me. I know a lot about these things, more than anyone ever probably. So I know what I am talking about and many people are saying this too.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:19

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Here’s your cheat sheet for sounding like an expert on cars

Miata is always the answer

Manuel superior (Don’t argue), Automatics bleh, CVT is the work of the devil

SUVs CRossovers are the reason the world will end. WAGONS RULE! Bonus points if brown manuelle diesel

FWD= Fail Wheel drive, RWD or GFTO, AWD is great if Subaru Audi Acura. All others are inferior “slip n’ grip”

WINTER TIRES WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING. BLIZZAKS FROM OCTOBER TO MAY OR GTFO!

GM Sucks, FCA Sucks, Ford killed cars so it sucks

BMW lost its way, Mercedes if for old people and posers, Audi ROFL VW literally unreliable Nazis dieselgate

Mazda is the best overall affordable daily car. 2.5Turbo engine+Anything is God. OK fine, Honda’s good except Civic type R which is fugly. Throw in Golf GTI but all other VWs avoid like the plague. Nissyawn..Toyot....zzzzz...what? sorry I dozed off.

BRZ is slow, needs a turbo. Mustangs kill crowds at Cars & Coffee, Can’t see out of a Camaro pillbox bunker, WRX/STI do you Vape bro? Jeeps el oh el Mall crawler

New trucks are so BIG! So EXPENSIVE! Only for Tiny Peepee overcompensating broseurs. Old manual RWD single cab trucks is where it’s at

Only buy used/CPO as it is the best financial option. People who buy new or lease cars are stupid!

Stealerships Amirite? Literally Satan. Craigslists if where it’s at.

Learn to wrench, You need to be able to drop and engine and LS-Swap it else you are useless. At least find a reliable local Indy you filthy casual!

I love Tesla...5 seconds later...I hate Tesla!

functionoverfashion > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:19

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MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > AestheticsInMotion 03/11/2019 at 14:20

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Here’s a palette cleanser

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Ash78, voting early and often > TysMagic 03/11/2019 at 14:20

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“ Many people have never ridden a 10-speed bike, so we’re just gonna have to dumb this down to inconceivable levels.”

Ash78, voting early and often > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/11/2019 at 14:20

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Mr. President?

functionoverfashion > TysMagic 03/11/2019 at 14:21

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There are no rules, so they can get away with this.

functionoverfashion > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 14:23

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Correction: Automatics Prindles

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:23

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A vehicle. For reasons somebody may understand, but I don’t, auto executives often talk in terms of how many “units” they built or sold. Who knows? Maybe they think accountants sound smart. They mean vehicles.

uhhh... im pretty sure units built/ sold is pretty standard for most industry

manufacturing for sure

(unless your me.. i work with thingies and doodads)

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > functionoverfashion 03/11/2019 at 14:25

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PRNDL21 SM+-

Berang > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:25

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“sounding like” being the qualifier. For when talking to people who don’t know/care much about cars.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:26

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I did like the description on DLO - “I swear these are the dumbest three letters in an industry that never met an abbreviation it didn’t like”  

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:27

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MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Ash78, voting early and often 03/11/2019 at 14:28

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Depends, w ho’s asking?

functionoverfashion > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 14:28

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Nah, that’s a manual! (reference: Autotrader listings )

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > functionoverfashion 03/11/2019 at 14:29

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TysMagic > Ash78, voting early and often 03/11/2019 at 14:29

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you got a solid chuckle out of me with this one

functionoverfashion > fintail 03/11/2019 at 14:31

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Also, what else would you call this:

Sir Halffast > For Sweden 03/11/2019 at 14:34

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That’s slang for “Enjoy your permaban .”

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > functionoverfashion 03/11/2019 at 14:34

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botched plastic surgery

RedPir8Roberts > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:36

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VW tried to explain torque to people. The whole ad campaign, while memorable, made me possibly less likely to buy one. But more for the “Cornering” ad than the torque one.   I’m not sure what dark forces are “pulling the car through” the corner; maybe torque again, because VW has conquered torque steer ? Centrifugal force? Baked in oversteer? Whatever, doesn’t make me want to own the same car as the crazed driver in the second video . Also Jettas of this era seemed to be driven by people like that, in terms of cutting through traffic, at least in my experience, so I learned to be wary of them. Seems to have abated in later generations, maybe the ad campaign encouraged it. Ironically the only person I knew who had one was a complete milquetoast as a driver and she cared nothing about cars or driving .

functionoverfashion > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:38

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Oh man I could write one of these about boats.

Spanfeller is a twat > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:40

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I don’t know about that, could be a reference to a low range gearbox

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/11/2019 at 14:41

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You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

fintail > functionoverfashion 03/11/2019 at 14:41

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If I’m a turn signal-hating cultist, LCI

Under_Score > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 14:41

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9.9/10. Needs the unnecessary profanity, but perfect otherwise. 

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Under_Score 03/11/2019 at 14:41

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I’d give myself a solid 5/7

Under_Score > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 14:43

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Yeah, I understand. Upon further reading, you failed to include an extreme distaste for front license plates, dealer stickers and plate frames, and Donald Trump, because he somehow ends up in car talk. But still,  a very good job.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Under_Score 03/11/2019 at 14:44

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Next time I will strive to include more profanities like Donald Trump in my rants.

Under_Score > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 14:45

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You don’t have to; I’m just saying that the stereotypical car guy does. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > RedPir8Roberts 03/11/2019 at 14:46

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Ironically the only person I knew who had one was a complete milquetoast as a driver and she cared nothing about cars or driving.

tbh thats about 80% of vw drivers here

the other 20% cant drive but think they’re pro racers and dont know shit about cars but think they’ve done a masterfull job tuning it anyway (read slammed and fartcanned)

really.. dont buy a fast vw secondhand here... they’ve had it rough

regular ones are ok..sometimes..

TheRevanchist > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 14:50

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All that, and not one mention of cup holders or how to properly kick the tires.

promoted by the color red > For Sweden 03/11/2019 at 15:12

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I know this one!

Gran

Turismo

Future

Activity

Concept

Time to sell it to BMW’s marketing department.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 15:20

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ACC can be automatic climate control. I prefer ICC for intelligent cruise control.

Overall it’s an acceptable attempt at educating the auto blivious masses. But not many of them will read this anyways.

i86hotdogs > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 15:31

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Dodge Challenger? Don’t you mean boat?

facw > Ash78, voting early and often 03/11/2019 at 15:33

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Does it still have charts though? It’s been a while since I stayed in hotel that put a USA Today in front of the door for me to ignore in the mornings.

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 15:37

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The Internet was a mistake.

Sincerely, s omeone responsible for the existence Internet

TRivet > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/11/2019 at 15:49

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Terms I hate

DLO

I swear these are the dumbest three letters in an industry that never met an abbreviation it didn’t like. DLO stands for “Daylight Opening,” and it means the windows, windshield, side and rear. It also includes the metal pillars that surround the windows and support the roof. The term is frequently used in design presentations: “The DLO increased,” means bigger windows.

Not to be confused with ELO, which rocks.

I approve of the above.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > wafflesnfalafel 03/11/2019 at 16:10

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you should see a doctor bout that

Just Jeepin' > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 16:20

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Manuel superior

José  might disagree.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > i86hotdogs 03/11/2019 at 16:22

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Boaty McDodgeface

James May > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/11/2019 at 17:38

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Any positive speech about Acura shall only be reserved for the almighty 04-08 TL-S, the original NSX,  and the Integra. All others are rubbish and that includes anything with SH-AWD.

nacylic > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/12/2019 at 18:26

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Everybody does LS swaps, they're boring. 2JZ swap or maybe AMC something something or gtfo