In defense of the Town Car. 

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 03/08/2019 at 18:35 • Filed to: None

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I drove my Town Car in Center City today.

I haven’t regularly driven it in years. It was at ~250k when I decided it was reliable enough to buy a shitty Jag, and it hasn’t gained much since. I don’t want to get rid of it until it dies, and it doesn’t want to die.

Some observations:

It has torque at the low end, which is where it matters. This isn’t a car your accelerate in, it’s a car you accellaerate in front of someone in.

It hits all the potholes, and it does not care. And neither do you in body-on-frame with air suspension.

Mostly everyone realizes you have nothing to lose, and they will not fuck with you.*

No cop will ever pull you over in a Town Car.

I like these cars. They have one purpose and the fulfill it very well

Cab drivers will fuck with you, because they think you’re another cab.

dogisbadob > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 18:40

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They might pull you over if you don’t take it to inspection soon :p

For Sweden > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 18:40

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Cab drivers will fuck with you

More than they already do?

Honeybunchesofgoats > dogisbadob 03/08/2019 at 18:43

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It’s dark, so I took the most recent photo I have on my phone , which is 2012. Town Cars aren’t cars you photograph regularly. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > For Sweden 03/08/2019 at 18:46

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Oh yeah. They’re normal cab driver rage and there’s cab driver on cab driver rage. I once explicitly told a guy I would pay his fare because he spent five minutes screaming curses a another cab driver. “This was a $12 ride before you stopped to scream at that guy you tried to cut off. You can take it or we can call the cops to settle it, k?”

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 18:54

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I miss my TC for not breaking my spine on shitty philly roads

someassemblyrequired > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 18:56

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Peak Panther.   So much better than a Crown Vic.

Honeybunchesofgoats > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 03/08/2019 at 18:58

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I hit two potholes and dodged a UPS truck on 17th when I thought “oh, that’s why I like this car.”

Khalbali > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 19:03

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I really want an 03 or 04, was planning on buying one soon but just can't afford a second car until my wife finds a job so we're stuck sharing her Rio.

Honeybunchesofgoats > someassemblyrequired 03/08/2019 at 19:03

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It’s funny how this car brought back so many memories  for me. I came off of the Ben Franklin bridge without applying brakes once, because I instinctively knew how much speed it could take at successive turns without slipping. There’s something to be said for a shitty floaty boat that communicates road feeling. 

Urambo Tauro > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 19:12

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My parents used to have a ’ 97 Town Car... poor thing was not well-maintained.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 19:12

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It’s meh with icing.

Spanfeller is a twat > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 19:16

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It has torque at the low end, which is where it matters. This isn’t a car your accelerate in, it’s a car you accellaerate in front of someone in.

The modular has torque? LOL

19JRC99 > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 19:21

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My grandfather’s main car is one of these. It’s immaculate and the most comfortable car I’ve ever been in. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > Urambo Tauro 03/08/2019 at 19:37

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Town Car don’t care. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 03/08/2019 at 19:38

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It’s meh with icing you can crash .

Honeybunchesofgoats > Khalbali 03/08/2019 at 19:43

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04 and up is garbage. Go 02 and lower and you can put your kids through college. 

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Khalbali 03/08/2019 at 19:53

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Don’t listen to him, 04 is peak Panther.  Try to find the THX sound system.  05+ sucks tho.

Khalbali > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 19:54

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I prefer the later styling plus the rack and pinion personally, or I want a '91-97.

Khalbali > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 03/08/2019 at 20:06

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Yeah I definitely don’t want drive by wire, mostly want heated seats and sunroof. But I don’t even listen to my wife let alone strangers online .

Urambo Tauro > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 20:12

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This one did. Rust was the main issue. I had to replace the brake lines that had already been done because the previous mechanic had botched the install. But the worst part was the frame, which was rotting near the control arm mounts. Instead of welding in some patches, the decision was made that it was time to just let the car go. By that point, it was already in need of several other items, most notably  air suspension work.

someassemblyrequired > Honeybunchesofgoats 03/08/2019 at 21:02

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Absolutely - vs. a newer car with electric power steering, you get way more sense of what’s going on.   Plus it just floats over everything - you arrive at your destination and even if it’s been a few hours your not beat to death by potholes or expansion joints.