I dislike hiring people

"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion) 03/01/2019 at 02:05 • Filed to: Weighty sigh

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Whearas my fellow managers are having trouble finding anyone, I’m finding tons of people. Hooray. But, w hile the quantity is great.... The quality is somewhat lacking. My ad mentions a cover letter and resumé. Here’s the extent of what I received from one applicant.

C62030 > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 02:12

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I’d appreciate you not calling me out like this.

Wagon Guy drives a Boostang > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 02:16

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I also hate hiring new people.

Every time we post a job opening we get a lot of responses, but like you’ve found few are actually quality responses. Some of my fellow managers think that they can train anyone to be a network tech. That kind of backfired on one of our last hires. They accepted someone that I didn’t recommend, because she presented well, but when she got on the job her experience was greatly exaggerated.

The person I wanted and got had previous network experience and only needed training on our in-house stuff. She was much more successful.

AestheticsInMotion > C62030 03/01/2019 at 02:20

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Id Aprisi8 u be go5home rite now

pip bip - choose Corrour > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 02:22

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Hire everyone and turn it into a hunger games type game 

AestheticsInMotion > Wagon Guy drives a Boostang 03/01/2019 at 02:23

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The newest idea is to hire a—wait for it—hiring manager. That was supposed to be done weeks ago, but we didn’t get any good candidates....

I feel your pain. This whole thing also puts me firmly in the “ maximise employee retention” camp, of which I seem to be the only member at my current company

AestheticsInMotion > pip bip - choose Corrour 03/01/2019 at 02:23

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I don’t see how that would help find an elegible candidate

But I’m still 100% down.

pip bip - choose Corrour > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 02:36

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May not find the right person but it will be fun to watch 

Berang > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 02:49

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All I know is anybody who actually looks at linked in is an idiot.

NKato > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 02:56

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How hard is the job, what are the responsibilities, what’s the pay scale, and are you ok with a weekend warrior part timer?

I’ve been thinking about taking on temporary side jobs every now and then since my regular shift is a 4/10 workweek.

Edit: not that I could help at the immediate time (car is feeling a bit off since the snow storms)  but if it helps, I’m pulling for you. Hope you find that good hire. 

Wagon Guy drives a Boostang > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 03:10

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Yep, employee retention is key. If only upper management would buy into that.

RPM esq. > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 04:42

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BRB, sending you a highly polished resume that has not the slightest fucking relevance to the job for which you’re hiring.

Svend > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 04:48

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Wow. That is an appalling cover note in so many ways. It’s a work of art.

Does it say how old the applicant is? 

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 05:24

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This makes me feel better about my chances whenever I send a resume out...you forget what sort of people you’re competing with. 

jimz > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 05:47

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That looks more like his person was propositioning you

random001 > Berang 03/01/2019 at 06:26

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So much this.  It’s so bad that we’re required to have a linked in page.

random001 > Berang 03/01/2019 at 06:26

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So much this.  It’s so bad that we’re required to have a linked in page.

Chuckles > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 08:36

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This seems like the cover letter of someone who doesn’t want the job, but is compelled to apply for jobs in order to maintain their current situation.

“I swear Dad, I applied to 20 jobs this week! I don't know why I can't find anything. Can I have my allowance now?"

Decay buys too many beaters > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 13:33

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Wait... Am I doing it wrong? They posted an ad , and I sent this back.

AestheticsInMotion > Decay buys too many beaters 03/01/2019 at 14:11

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Efficient AND you think outside of the box?! Hired. With a raise. And a free box of cats

Decay buys too many beaters > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 14:15

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benjrblant > AestheticsInMotion 03/01/2019 at 15:33

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seriously?

AestheticsInMotion > benjrblant 03/01/2019 at 15:40

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I wish I was joking