This sickens me

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 02/27/2019 at 19:29 • Filed to: None

2

20

“We're gonna kill you 20 years too soon but here's a free hat to make you feel better about it"

promoted by the color red > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 19:39

1

Dale Gribble sued Manitoba cigarettes and won. Maybe you should sue these guys. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 19:41

1

I mean, to be fair, my uncle used to give me swag he’d get from Camel, so that’s far from new. 

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 19:47

11

But hey, sometimes they have a turbocharged sport truck on offer?

Just Jeepin' > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 19:51

2

I have a denim Camel coat my aunt gave me about 30 years ago. Buttons have fallen off but it’s still in remarkably good shape.

For the first few years I was uncomfortable wearing it but I finally decided no one cared. 

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 19:51

5

How man y gallon hat are we talking about here?

Dogsatemypants > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 19:53

1

I have some good swag from the poison purveyors. Most of it related to smoking. Camel gave me a nice pocket knife at a booth in a street fair.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Urambo Tauro 02/27/2019 at 19:54

1

Big enough to hide a carton of marbys in

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 20:00

0

Now I want a cigarette. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 02/27/2019 at 20:05

0

You’re gonna need a lot more than one if you want a stuffed Marlboro Man. 

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/27/2019 at 20:07

3

I quit 10 years ago. Unless I can get paid by Marlboro to smoke the Marlboro Man plushie , I can’t commit to anything.

Chariotoflove > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 20:13

3

Of course it does.  Smoke cigars like a civilized person.

smobgirl > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 20:19

1

One of my well-used carryon bags is a reward from my mom’s cigarette company. It’s pretty unique-looking so it was a sad surprise when one of my band students had the exact same bag on a trip to nationals.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Urambo Tauro 02/27/2019 at 20:30

2

This is the kind of take we come to Oppo for!

TheRevanchist > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 20:31

0

Uh, they have had this program in various forms over the years. I remember seeing one dude in a leather Marlboro jacket and thinking that was so badass (it was the 90's, what do you want from me?) . Only back then, the internet was new and not everyone had it. You had to collect the points from the packs and then send them in the mail .

Clown Shoe Pilot > smobgirl 02/27/2019 at 21:47

0

I remember being in jr high and high school and seeing kids wearing tobacco and alcohol advertising at school. A kid that I rode the bus with had a parent that worked for Jim Beam as a marketing guy, so he had a full wardrobe of Jim Bear swag. He got away with wearing it for a few weeks before he was admonished to not do so under penalty of being sent home to change.

Corona Beer shirts were also SUPER popular for a minute . They were so popular that a local t-shi rt shop did school-specific versions changing the colors to school colors, changing the “Corona” brand to the name of the school, and changing the tag line to “La E scuela Mas Fina” and those got banned too, because having a bunch of junior high kids wearing alco -swag in the class group picture is a bad look.

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/27/2019 at 21:49

0

Counterpoint: if they’re going to kill you, giving you a nice hat is the least they could do.

smobgirl > Clown Shoe Pilot 02/27/2019 at 22:04

0

Yeah, none of that was allowed at my  school, even in the middle of nowhere in VA. This bag is pink and orange floral and you’d never know unless you also have one. Virginia Slims had some very un-tobacco freebies.

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 02/27/2019 at 22:30

1

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/28/2019 at 00:00

0

Fun fact (remember, I’ve been smoking since before many of you were conceived .)

In ... 1998, 1999 ? around there the FDA explicitly banned these reward programs for cigarettes. Because they were being used to hook younger smokers with the promise of free hats, free beer koozys, free luggage, free Swiss Army watches, free BBQ utensils, and free boats.

I shit you not. I think it was 2500 miles for a boat.

And that was the lightweight shit. Me, I have been for a very long time, a Camel smoker. (Menthol Wides, if you must know.) So I collected.. Camel Cash. Duh. 1 pack = $1 Camel Cash. Which, by the way, featured Joe Camel. Wanted a catalog and didn’t want to call Camel?

Two packs. Came with a tumbler, C-Notes, a VIP membership, and a catalog.

Which included access to this:

“It’s just junk, I’m sure.” No. It was not. You could get very high quality die casts (now highly sought after,) autographed memorabilia, promotional only jackets and clothing, exclusive tickets to motorsports events, and this:

It was an obscene amount of points, but you could in fact, collect enough Camel Cash to get a CBR600F3 “Smokin’ Joe’s” from them.

Which was why they banned this shit. Only 2400 packs to go before you get your bike? Here, junior, smoke up. And you know what? Lack of surprise, this shit worked . Cigarette sales jumped and kept climbing. Especially among kids. Because they weren’t asking how they got those points. It was undoing years of work.

So I was absolutely floored to see the return of this shit.

Sign up, here’s 1500 points. Enter a pack code, 100 points. Got 100 points, enter a contest to go on a ranch adventure trip. Answer some stupid questions, here’s some more points. Bic Lighter Sleeve, 4200 points. Wood bottle opener, 4800 points. Rugged bluetooth speaker from China, 11,700 points. Camelbak hydration pak, 19,600 points. Beats headphones, 53,250 points.

Your pack of cigarettes is 100 points. That’s 533 packs of cigarettes to get the headphones. You get the picture? You see why this shit was so abusive? You see why it was banned? And now it’s back. And yes, it’s back at Camel too. They’ve spent millions and millions creating a slick new website. Becoming a “lifestyle” company. Click around their site, ‘crush’ orbs, get contest entries.

Shit’s gone full circle.

KnowsAboutCars > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/03/2019 at 09:33

1

As an European this looks so foreign to me. We nowadays have only plain packaging with branding and large warning text coupled with a photo to show how smoking will fuck you up.