A post 14 months in the making.

"Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street." (demon-xanth)
12/16/2019 at 11:14 • Filed to: None

In this picture is car #2 of a 5 car pileup. The guy driving it was sitting on stopped on I-66 during rush hour when a Land Rover Discovery doing “40 MPH” was distracted and pushed him into three other cars. The power retractable hardtop was knocked off in the accident.

The driver of the Miata was responsive to EMTs, but his heart stopped on the way to the hospital five miles away. They were never able to get it restarted. The cause of death was listed as blunt force trauma to the head and chest. The crash structure held up quite well, but the number of impacts worked his organs like a dead blow hammer.

What became of the other driver? His car was repaired. He was charged, and acquitted , of reckless driving. We found his facebook page that showed the vacations and deep sea fishing trips he was going on. I’m not going to post any names publicly nor privately. So if you want a witch hunt, not going to happen. Why am I posting this now? The lawyers have finally finished, and the checks from the insurance companies cleared.

He was like a brother to me. Him and my Lady had moved to the Virginia area because he had a clearance after being medically retired from the army after 19 years of service. He had a job working on big iron computer systems. I don’t know the details. He never could say, so we never asked. It was better that we don’t know really. But it was lucrative. I moved in after being laid off, we had a poly relationship that worked well. We never hid it, even though some people never wrapped their head around it. He was the primary bread winner by far, so when he died, that left the house with a mother in law who just a year before had a triple heart bypass, a wife whom had been out of the job market for 24 years, an autistic son, and a daughter graduating high school.

I knew my income had no hope of making ends meet. I looked at the job market in Portland, we had talked about retiring in the area. The market for my skills was strong, the house prices were comparable. I could make the math work. I reached out to Steve Lehto for help in how to find an attorney , and he came back with a name. A conversation yielded that a suit would not be fruitful and the personal injury clause of the auto insurance would be all we could get, just $25k in Virginia. So we set plans, we used the life insurance policies to get out from under the bad mortgage packages and get right side up and allow a normal sale of the house, packed up, and moved cross country to restart our lives. Why did it take 14 months to settle? The silver lining in this dark cloud was that th e other driver w as on the clock when this happened. It fell under corporate insurance.

The process was far from pleasant, the attorney we were recommended pulled through and we are as of this morning, back on the road to a financially stable state. But emotionally, it’s still rough. We still have mornings where we cry, and our lives are far from settled. In 1993 my dad was rear ended, ended up with three disk fusion surgeries, and his life was drastically changed. I often wondered how live would be different had he been killed. Now I know. More than once my Lady said that I could walk away if it was too much for me. But there is a saying, “If you aren’t there for the lows, you don’t deserve to be there for the highs.” I couldn’t walk away. It was stressful, I was looking down the barrel of supporting a family that legally I had no ties to. But I did my best. We are in a better place, with better opportunities, and a future that looks bright.

I know many people here have given me support through my intentionally vague posts in the past year or so, but if it wasn’t for this community I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Thank you, thank you everyone.

DISCUSSION (11)

VincentMalamute-Kim > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 11:57

wow.

You guys sound like great people. Good on everyone for supporting each other.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 12:06

I remember when this happened. I have occasionally thought about it in the months since and how hard for you guys this must have been.

I am glad you guys are doing well on the West Coast. It was great to have met you and I look forward to future Oppo meets!

boredalways > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 12:22

My condolences. It sounds like this fresh start is just what you both needed.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 12:41

Wow that’s one hell of a story. My condolences. Glad to see things are on their way to getting better.

It reminds me of when I had to hit the brakes on a car that was stopped a few days ago.

And I habitually check my rear view mirror when stopping... and a saw a car behind me where the driver was surprised and started braking too late.

I rolled forward to give them more space to stop and I think it made the difference between having and not having a rear-ending incident.

This time of year is the worst for this kind of thing. It’s darker outside, people are in a rush AND have the added distraction of having lots of other things on their minds.

And that this happened to me on XMas Eve last year.

Luckily for the other guy, *I* was paying attention and was able to scrub off enough speed so when contact was made, it wasn’t hard enough to set off the airbags, let alone cause injury.

phenotyp > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 12:43

Holy shit. I remember your post about the incident.

Keep being you. SO good to hear that things are looking up. If you aren’t there for the lows, you aren’t there for the highs, indeed.

McMike > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 12:54

I’m a little confused about every part of your relationship with the people in the story and how the settlement affects you, but I’m glad there is somewhat of a silver lining this for someone.

My thoughts are with his family. That sucks. :(

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > McMike
12/16/2019 at 13:05

For all intents and purposes, we’re all family. Legally in a few years.

Cash Rewards > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 13:14

Damn, I remember this original post. I hope the emotional healing continues for you all.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 13:44

Wow, first I’m hearing of this story. Makes you think of all the driving around we do in these huge metal death traps where something like this could happen to any of us, any day of the week. Sorry to hear about your and your family’s loss – on one side I’m pissed that you had such a runaround getting the insurance payments you deserved given this tragic loss, but on the other hand also imagine it was a terrible mistake on the other driver’s part and something they will never forget and hopefully learn from , so financially ruining that person probably wouldn’t have been the right answer either.

Anyway – I know they say time heals wounds, but that can’t be easy – especially losing someone so close, and in such a sudden and horrible way. I hope your family has been able to find the strength in each other in getting through these times. We moved to Portland about 4 years ago too – between a 1 year old and work I’m horrible at making it to any Oppo events, hopefully someday. The PNW has been very good to us so far, and hope it shares its love with you and your family as well for many years to come.

Longtime Lurker > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 14:09

I was just thinking about this the other day.

benn454 > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
12/16/2019 at 14:21

Yikes. That's terrible. The fact that the other guy got away without even a slap on the wrist is infuriating