Freakin' family

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 08/20/2018 at 14:32 • Filed to: rant

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Do you have a family member that everyone follows even if its a stupid idea or their plan is completely self serving?

yeah, me too. Everytime I push back I get crap from my family.

The facts though, are right in front of them. in many cases its simple math.

I can make plans, I can get the ball rolling, but they’ll come out of left field   say “I’ve already put my plan into motion, oh and by the way if you don’t fall in line the plan falls apart and no one gets what they want k thnks.”

I n most cases the trouble arises from the entire family (4 sibs and mom) trying to do something together...so I can choose to:

1. go with the flow, let it slide this one time...again...for the family.

2. gracefully bow out of the activity and look like the anti-social family- hating ass.

3. push back and get crap from all sides for being an ass and always having to be right.

Normally I chose 1. 2 doesn’t work out well for the sibs that choose it for stupid backbiting reasons and 3 just results in me getting nothing but angry.

I’m going full 3 today. Im sick of this crap and if im going to be shat on, the least I can do is turn the fan speed up.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:37

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I choose 2, because none of my family has the ability to say no to the family members bringing the biting dog. So I did, and have avoided family gatherings since then. It’s been wonderful. 

TheRealBicycleBuck > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:37

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I’m an only child and most of my family is out-of-state, so I don’t have this problem very often. My sister-in-law does rule the roost when she comes home, so my wife has become adept at minimizing the overlap during visits. Avoid rather than hurt.

Sovande > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:37

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What kind of plans are we talking about? Important things or dinner?

Why not just go home when it gets annoying?  That’s what I do.  I haven’t made it until Christmas dinner in like 5 years.  

HammerheadFistpunch > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/20/2018 at 14:38

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cant avoid em.

HammerheadFistpunch > Sovande 08/20/2018 at 14:38

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Cruise excursion. 

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:40

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I’m 450 miles away. Still too close. 

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:40

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Yes.  I usually go with #2.

HammerheadFistpunch > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/20/2018 at 14:40

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im 15 miles away from all but one

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:41

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I’m sorry. 

Sovande > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:41

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So not important things.  I can’t imagine being trapped on a boat with my family.  They are wonderful people and I love them, but nope.  I need an exit strategy.

HammerheadFistpunch > Sovande 08/20/2018 at 14:43

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Expensive things.  this isn’t the only issue though, there are a lot of shared assets that end up being important things were going to have to sort out.

HammerheadFistpunch > Sovande 08/20/2018 at 14:47

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its a big boat.

HammerheadFistpunch > shop-teacher 08/20/2018 at 14:49

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sometimes I wish I could.  I think thats going to be my goto.  The trouble is I get down the road with plans Im on board with, and me and a couple other sibs will onboard but they hinge on the idea of everyone doing it together.  Then the plans change but I’ve already committed to doing a family activity and im stuck.  I’m traditionally a peacemaker but Im becoming very angry lately.  I need an outlet or something I guess.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:50

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How dare you talk about me like that.

/s

Well, kinda. There are some things that I will take full ownership of simply because shit doesn’t get done otherwise. These things are always things I am very interesting in, otherwise I’ll just ride. And I usually won’t try and force my plans on everyone else. But once the event is decided on you bet your ass I’m doing it my way and being a dick about it because it’s the only way we’ll get out of the house before noon.

HammerheadFistpunch > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 08/20/2018 at 14:51

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I understand decisiveness , thats a good trait, im talking about plan jacking.

LOREM IPSUM > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:52

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Sucks you’re always just coming down with a cold every time someone elses shitty plans are about to take place.

*Cough-cough*

Wouldn't want to get everyone sick, after all.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 14:57

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I’m just glad that my hometown and my wife’s hometown are separated by the Taiwan Strait. They would NOT get along if they were in the same metro area.

One side does not take opposition well and the other side is utterly incapable of making a decision and then executing it.

HammerheadFistpunch > LOREM IPSUM 08/20/2018 at 14:57

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Thats going to be a tough sell if we are all on the same ship.

HammerheadFistpunch > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 08/20/2018 at 14:58

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I mostly get along with the inlaws.  Her brother in law is “that guy” in their family though so I have to watch out for that.  The trick with them is just making our own plans and sticking with them.

LOREM IPSUM > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 15:00

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Do you have any acquaintances you’d like to offer a free cruise to? Could always come down with a case of the Phu ket Phlu the day before boarding. ;)

OPPOsaurus WRX > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 15:01

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my wife’s family (wife, sister-in-law, mother-in-law) cannot plan shit. W hen its time to go they all look at each other and ask how its gunna get done. I’ve tried planning before and I get yelled at like i’m trying to take control of their event and boss them around. Now I just sit back and get yelled at for not helping. So I get the same outcome, just with a lot less effort.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 15:03

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Yep in isolation I can deal with my in-laws.  I just don’t say no, and never take any plans for granted--it will always change at the last minute into something completely different.

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 15:10

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The fortunate(?) thing for me, is while I get along with everybody in my family well enough, we never do anything more than an afternoon barbecue together. I blew off the last one of those to work on my kitchen. My dad lives 18 miles away from me, I see him about half a dozen times a year.

HammerheadFistpunch > shop-teacher 08/20/2018 at 15:11

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we see each other ALOT.  Up to now there hasn’t been a lot of friction but now were all starting to get under each others skin a little.

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 15:45

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Unfortunately I can’t offer much advice here, because I just don’t have that kind of family.  I know how annoying these sorts of people can be, so to have a lot of contact with them would really be infuriating for me.  

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 15:45

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Some simple gastrointestinal  distress is easy to fake and no one will monitor that you’re actually shitting your brains out .

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 08/20/2018 at 15:48

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Trouble is that’s just shooting myself in the foot and they win

Chariotoflove > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 16:11

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Thanks for reminding me of another reason why I hate cruises. A few years ago, my MIL tried to recruit the family for a cruise. I had all my planned excuses lined up in case it got for enough for that. Family is great if I can regulate the dosage. Cruise ships are too close to an Anne Frank situation.

Never go full Anne Frank.  Never.

HammerheadFistpunch > Chariotoflove 08/20/2018 at 16:13

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I like cruises and I generally like my family. I guess I’ll just angry lately

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 18:02

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I almost always bounce between 1 and 3,  but I will say that the two times I did 2 it was probably the Nash Equilibrium

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 18:06

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Frequency is bad. Some families are really tight; most are not. Period. I have someone in my family that, in spite our wives desires, after 8 years it’s apparent that we are just not going to be best friends forever. And that’s okay. We’re not al compatible. But  the emphasis of family rawrrr family is everything seems to cloud reality and expectations.

Chariotoflove > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 18:37

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Good luck.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/20/2018 at 18:38

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its worked well for us, I think the problem is that we all started managing some shared assets and we are all in a different place philosophically and so little things that you could blow off are bigger now generally. Plus Im just in much more of a no shits given way lately. pretty sure I almost got into a fight the other day because some unpleasant looking tattooed fellow in a wife beater flicked my car as I was pulling into traffic because he had to walk behind me on the sidewalk. Normally I would just brush it off because - 1. who carse , and 2. big tattooed fellow in wife beater.

I didn’t and I yelled out my window to never touch another mans car.

F*#k you! is what I got back.

I gotta figure out this angry thing.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 18:55

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We had some G-rated drama recently. My parents have the kids and grandkids over every summer. One family stays at the house, the others will stay with at any willing neighbor’s ( often vacant rentals or BnBs , most homes around are just people’s weekend retreats). This time around, one of my married-to-a- sibling people did not care for their accommodations and stupidly complained about it. You know, their FREE vacation accommodations. The worst part? My parents have been telling everyone that the neighbors have been "letting" everyone use their homes, but actually my parents have been paying near full price on a pro-rated week rental or full on an air bnb. This is where I do make my cringy face.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/20/2018 at 18:56

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This is the feel I know.  One brother has been freaking about paying for boat things...on a boat he didn’t pay for and gets to use...for free.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 19:13

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Tragedy of commons

The Snowman > HammerheadFistpunch 08/20/2018 at 20:47

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Remember with family no one ever wins.

LastFirstMI is my name > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 08/20/2018 at 21:15

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You’re not alone. I’m that guy too. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > HammerheadFistpunch 08/21/2018 at 10:09

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Remember: Meek does not equal weak. Suggestion though: analyze your own thoughts and feelings and express those, rather than protest anything anyone else does. Stick with “I” if you choose to engage.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > CalzoneGolem 08/21/2018 at 10:12

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They’ll all get norovirus on the ship anyhow.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > HammerheadFistpunch 08/21/2018 at 10:14

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What is your complaint, specifically? Would you rather do something else rather than go on a cruise with everyone? Why not? The ship has 5,000 passengers and enough deck chairs for all but 4,900 of them. And another 50 or so can go into the pool. What’s not to love about that setup?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Sovande 08/21/2018 at 10:18

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That’s what the life boats are for. I can’t see being trapped on a cruise ship, period.

Nibby > Chariotoflove 08/25/2018 at 09:18

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if you rearrange the letters of mother in law, you get woman hitler

Chariotoflove > Nibby 08/25/2018 at 12:14

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Hmmm. Coincidence?