Do these taillights make my ass look fat?

"mkbruin, Atlas VP" (mkbruin) 03/12/2018 at 13:11 • Filed to: None

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Abso-friggen-lutely.

Like Kim Kardashian in a thong, the visual weight of your ass is nearly enough to create a black hole. Your ass is so fat, I’d have to grease the grage door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get you through.

fintail > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 13:27

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I’ve seen CUV style called “bloatling”, and I think that’s a good term for the aesthetic.

I am sure for the paranoid set who likes the seat height and pretense of safety, the mass makes them feel cocooned and happy, isolated from the scary world on the road (made scarier when one of these merges into traffic at 10 under the prevailing speed, or weaves around while the driver tends to distractions.

fhrblig > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 13:27

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Still not as bad as the first generation Traverse.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 13:28

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I miss the good ol’ days.

TheRevanchist > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 13:29

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Unless that of KKW, this is one ass I’d like to wax and wouldn’t have to wear skin & eye protection while doing so.

LongbowMkII > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 13:58

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white doesnt hide the size well

Tekamul > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 15:39

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If the rear glass came 6 inches lower, and you moved the beltline accordingly it would look fine.

ranwhenparked > mkbruin, Atlas VP 03/12/2018 at 18:52

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You know that old stereotype about how owners look like their pets? Well, that’s pretty much what’s been happening with Americans and their S/CUVs and pickups.