The Unicorn (Saab) has been killed.

"I own dead car brands only" (Prd2bdf)
02/11/2018 at 18:04 • Filed to: None

It is with a heavy heart that I announce to Oppo that Cleveland the Saab has been killed. He was killed in action on January 19th. Cleveland was killed when he got slammed in the back by a distracted CR-V which caused me to lurch forward into an Explorer, which made the airbag blow.

Repair estimate came to 7,000 dollars but I think that was being overly optimistic. It’s probably closer to 10,000 given the rarity of the tail lights.

Warning: Graphic images

On top of losing Cleveland, the stupid girl who slammed into me was a juvenile which meant her mother had to be dealt with directly. The mother lied to her insurance and reported that it was a single-vehicle incident. Her insurance was pissed when they found out it wasn’t. This whole lying-to-the-insurance thing delayed the resolution which took two and half weeks. During that time, I thought long and hard about what I wanted. I was set on getting another car, not a Saab.

However...I was driving a rental SUV for two and half weeks, I was converted. A SUV is so practical and with me being so tall and wanting to get a camper, it was time to get a SUV. Now the current crop of SUVs are....boring and uninspiring. The good ones were out of my price range. The basic-est of the basic version of the good SUVs were within my range but who wants basic? Until I found this...

A 2015 Dodge Durango SXT Plus with the blacktop package. Needless to say, I absolutely love it.

Meet Lois.

DISCUSSION (55)

CB > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:24

Glad you’re okay, but sorry to hear about the Saab. When’s the comparison post to the Saab?

Also, who the hell would lie to their insurance about that? You’re gonna get screwed when the truth comes out.

My citroen won't start > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:29

You missed an (two) opportunity(ies)

Kinja'd!!!

Data Chandler > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:32

This is such an insane coincidence. I was literally just now reading your review of the 9-5 from a few years ago, and when I clicked on your profile to look for other posts I saw this..

So sad. Glad you’re ok, but what a shame. I’m still determined to some day own an NG 9-5, so if you’ve got advice, feel free!!

Alfalfa > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:36

I’m gonna say what I always say. You should have bought a Bronco.

Or echo Citroen’s sentiment on the missed opportunity to get a Trollblazer.

Either way, sorry and congrats. I will engage my headlight wipers for a fellow Swede who has fallen.

lone_liberal > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:45

Sorry about the Saab but that new ride is NICE. So now you have to either come up with a new screen name or replace the Dodge badges with Plymouth ones.

boredalways > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:48

It’s situations like this when I wish it was a crime to lie to your insurance company...ok, not any one going to jail (unless fraud), just super high rates for 3-10 years.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:49

Pouring one out for a fallen Saab brethren. Nice Durango though!

boxrocket > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:49

Pour out a bottle of Aquavit for the Saab.

The durango has a lot of good things going for it.

However, I’m going to ruin the durango for you (if you keep reading).

You’ve been warned.

The center stack is off-center from the console between the seats.

boredalways > My citroen won't start
02/11/2018 at 18:51

One tbh. The 9-7x is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer/GMC Envoy, a dime a dozen.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 18:52

Damn....really saddens me about the Saab...always really loved those. As for the Durango, I’m not an SUV guy at all, but the Durango is a nice looking one, especially with the blacktop package. I hope it proves to be a reliable and comfortable daily!

Frenchlicker > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 19:00

I was ready to suv hate on you. For some reason Durangos get a pass from me. I like them but don’t personally ever want one. I guess it’s because they haven’t become and indistinguishable blob like the others have.

Frenchlicker > boredalways
02/11/2018 at 19:00

Slight feeling an insurance company may drop a person for this.

Under_Score > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 19:10

Nice ride! I hope you were nicer to the girl than you were in this post; I was in three wrecks that I basically caused, and the people who received the damage were all very nice and forgiving of me.

Under_Score > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 19:10

Nice ride! I hope you were nicer to the girl than you were in this post; I was in three wrecks that I basically caused, and the people who received the damage were all very nice and forgiving of me.

Takuro Spirit > boxrocket
02/11/2018 at 19:11

My wife likes to put her purse on the passenger side floor. The Durango allows her to do so and still retain some footwell space for herself/me. I like to think they did that on purpose for that.... Purpose.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 19:11

Glad you’re okay!

Takuro Spirit > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 19:17

Welcome to the Oppo Durango Club. Its quiet in here, but distinguished.

Kinja'd!!!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Under_Score
02/11/2018 at 19:19

I don’t see anything wrong with what he wrote. He’s frustrated that someone rear ended him when they could have just paid attention to the road. He lost his car and he’s very fortunate that he’s not hurt. Her mother then tried to commit fraud.

Steve in Manhattan > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 19:25

Yeah - a Saab SUV, or just replace the car with the same model. We live vicariously through you ....

DutchieDC2R > Under_Score
02/11/2018 at 19:29

He was being too nice, if you ask me.

Your boy, BJR > Under_Score
02/11/2018 at 19:30

If you’re like 19 and have caused 3 accidents, then you need to be a better driver.

Liam Farrell > boredalways
02/11/2018 at 19:40

My dad had one, and it was a total POS. There is literally nothing good about it.

I own dead car brands only > My citroen won't start
02/11/2018 at 19:50

The 9-7x was never a consideration, incredibly unreliable. The 9-4x was a consideration but a few things took it out of the running:

1. Only 547 was made- parts rarity and trying to get parts for certain items.

2. The 2.8 with its stupid coils that liked to burn out too frequently plus the timing chain stretch

3. That leaves the 3.0 V6. Not too bad but the Haldex AWD is incredibly fragile and needy.

So that took it out of the running.

I own dead car brands only > Under_Score
02/11/2018 at 19:52

I have a very Type B personality. I was compassionate towards her when it happened. Shit happens so I’m not going to get mad over it as long as she admitted fault. She did admit fault to the trooper but her mother LIED and made the ordeal so much worse. So if anything, my hatred or anger or want-to-kick-ass is towards the mother.

I own dead car brands only > boxrocket
02/11/2018 at 19:52

Triggered.

I own dead car brands only > boredalways
02/11/2018 at 19:53

I’m hoping something happens to the mother. I don’t get why she lied.

I own dead car brands only > CB
02/11/2018 at 19:53

Hopefully soon! I’ve only driven it a few hundred miles so not enough miles to merit a valid comparison

I own dead car brands only > lone_liberal
02/11/2018 at 19:54

Yeah, I gotta rethink my screenname. Give me a moment....

I own dead car brands only > Takuro Spirit
02/11/2018 at 19:55

Looks awesome! The Redline Red for me really caught my attention and ultimately my “gotta have it” factor.

I own dead car brands only > Data Chandler
02/11/2018 at 19:55

My advice?

1. Don’t get AWD

2. Don’t get the 2.8T

Then you’re set.

I own dead car brands only > Steve in Manhattan
02/11/2018 at 19:57

I am a person that likes to have a different model. I’ve had a 9-3 sedan, 9-3 convertible, and a 9-5 sedan. Combined ownership of a Saab is 10 years (or about 250,000 miles). I was ready for something different for now. I’ll probably come back to a Saab later on as a toy car, most likely a vintage Saab.

I own dead car brands only > Frenchlicker
02/11/2018 at 19:58

YES! That’s why I really liked the Durango, it’s very “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT” that just appeals to me.

Dusty Ventures > boxrocket
02/11/2018 at 20:03

You monster

Under_Score > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/11/2018 at 20:09

I can completely understand disappointment with the mother, and the girl was distracted; my wrecks were accidental and I wasn’t being careless. Plus, my vehicles and the other vehicles were not totaled at all. I’m just saying that if the people I was in wrecks with hopped on online discussion forums under fake pseudonyms and started talking smack about me behind my back because I damaged their vehicles, I wouldn’t be happy. Yes, her mom was being a pain, but imagine how bad the girl probably feels. Seeing the CR-V in the ditch (c. 2007 model), it’s very likely an inheritance from her parents or a gift she received (probably a gift because it’s older); she has to deal with her ride being wrecked.

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 20:09

truly a shame, but perhaps another 9-5 can continue life thanks to the parts yours will donate

Under_Score > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 20:09

I understand completely.

arl > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 20:37

Glad you’re not hurt. Nice Dodge!

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 20:46

Yes Vintage Saab.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > My citroen won't start
02/11/2018 at 21:28

Am I a bad person for kind of liking the 9-4x?

Steve in Manhattan > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 22:08

Volvo?

deprecated account > I own dead car brands only
02/11/2018 at 23:16

Well, dang. I guess a Durango is a good choice for an SUV though. I’ve always loved the 9-7x Aero “Tröllblazer SS,” but I can understand why you went with something newer.

His Stigness > boxrocket
02/11/2018 at 23:21

*GASP*

Kinja'd!!!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > His Stigness
02/12/2018 at 00:53

My eyes

pip bip - choose Corrour > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 04:23

why no Saab 9-4X then, have the best of both worlds

boxrocket > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 06:35

I did warn you! It’s the Durango’s single greatest flaw!

boxrocket > His Stigness
02/12/2018 at 06:37

It can’t be unseen!

Ruins the whole interior. Once you’ve seen it, you can’t look away.

StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8 > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 09:30

Great choice for a replacement, those are awesome SUV’s.

BeaterGT > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 09:44

Damn, really liked your Saab. Best of luck with Lois :)

Future next gen S2000 owner > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 09:55

Why didn’t you continue the tradition and get a 9-4X? Also 7,000? what are they smoking? Totally messed up front end, airbag deployment - which is probably closer to 1,500-2000 alone, new rear bumper section, possible frame damage, radiator and all that.

12K minimum.

Ready for an adventure! > Steve in Manhattan
02/12/2018 at 09:58

Mulva?

CalzoneGolem > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 10:03

Your handle is a lie!

Rico > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 10:13

That is one sexy truck. Glad you were okay!

His Stigness > boxrocket
02/12/2018 at 14:01

I bet it was designed as a feature so you know you’re in a Chrysler.

Steve in Manhattan > I own dead car brands only
02/12/2018 at 17:26

Maybe buy it back from the insurance company and fix it?

MisterLicious > I own dead car brands only
02/13/2018 at 09:14

Dodge still exists. If you were going to buy an SUV, Saturn (VUE Redline) or even the Saab with the LS2 in it come to mind.

Conversely, do you plan on changing your user name?