"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/02/2018 at 10:10 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/02/2018 at 10:10 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 12
| 12 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Life is short – use two-ply to avoid UFIA.
1 st Wipe : January car sales sucked, especially for domestics who relied too heavily on sedans; meanwhile, Japanese brands pushed more trucks and crossovers. Welcome to Bizarro World.
2 nd Wipe : Fleet sales artificially helped Japanese marques, but they’re not disclosing the details. I think we can officially call these brands domestic now.
3 rd Wipe : BMW sick of losing to Mercedes, surprises absolutely nobody by saying they will invent two new crossover segments to fix this.
4 th Wipe : Ferrari wants to make more money with hybrids and SUVs. Analysts still concerned about their burn rate.
5 th Wipe : Toyota thinks it can buck the trend and increase sales 9% in China this year. Much like Nanking, they won’t take no for an answer.
Flush : In 1991, Hurley Haywood set out to win his fifth 24 Hours of Daytona. Spoiler: He did. And now his name adorns teen and millennial clothing nationwide.
WilliamsSW
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:14 |
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Much like Nanking, they won’t take no for an answer.
Ouch!
benjrblant
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:15 |
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3 rd Wipe :BMW alread has an SUV, a compact SUV, a big SUV, the SAV thing, and wtf ever an SAC is. Clearly what they need is to invent another segment.
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Ash78, voting early and often
> WilliamsSW
02/02/2018 at 10:16 |
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FWIW, I believe that if obscure (crude) jokes get a couple people to google something and learn about it, then it’s worth it. Grass roots history repetition avoidance.
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Ash78, voting early and often
> benjrblant
02/02/2018 at 10:17 |
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TWO more...X2 and X7, apparently. I have no words.
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benjrblant
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:19 |
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You know its bad when Ash78 can’t find the words.
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WilliamsSW
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:23 |
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No offense taken here, I’m just old enough to have gotten the reference immediately. And for those curious, even the Wikipedia page on it has some highly disturbing (and NSFW) images.
vondon302
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:23 |
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Bravo! I thought yesterday’s was good but that Nanking line killed me.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> benjrblant
02/02/2018 at 10:24 |
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BAM!
Azrek
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:32 |
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Poor BMW...they’ve lost their way.
BigBlock440
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 10:56 |
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1 st Wipe : January car sales sucked, especially for domestics who relied too heavily on sedans; meanwhile, Japanese brands pushed more trucks and crossovers. Welcome to Bizarro World.
And fleet sales.
Edit: forgot it was second. But in my defense, it was in first too.
Shift24
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/02/2018 at 15:46 |
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As Kristen Lee talked about, it is sad to see how far Cruze sales have tanked. The Fusion is also sad but I think thats more of a dated platform that has not aged well.
The 1st gen Cruze was GM’s first small car that didnt feel cheap. It had stylish European looks and a nice interior that flowed well at most trim levels. No really cheap exposed plastic. The main problem with the first gen though was it was slow. It needed an SS or sport package to add a kick of HP. Other than that it was a solid car.
The current gen looks like the accounting firm at GM got hold of it and the sales show it. The exterior is a mixed pot of hot garbage and the interior feels more plasticy than a Fisher Price toy set.
pip bip - choose Corrour
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/03/2018 at 07:14 |
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TIL, that’s what Hurley is
i never knew