"This car is not a Mustang"

"TheTurbochargedSquirrel" (thatsquirrel)
10/24/2018 at 11:50 • Filed to: None

A bit of local Craigslist gold that needs to be shared:

Don’t buy this car, it’s not a mustang.

No one will race you at stoplights. No teenagers will say, “Cool car, man,” and run their hands over the faded paint. No one will know how to pronounce the name.

If you buy this car, your spouse won’t understand. “It’s so ugly,” they’ll say. Even after you explain that it’s turbocharged, has a big VAM, an la3 computer, and a Porsche 944 intercooler, it won’t matter. They’ll just say, “But, what is it?”

This car is not a mustang, but it is a Ford. Sort of. This german-designed, executive tuner was Ford’s mid-80's answer to BMW. If you want the “respect” that comes from driving a BMW, don’t buy this car.

The large hatchback is full of spare parts. No one knows what this car is, but the parts are easy to find and cheap. I’ll give them all to you. You’ll need them. This is being sold as is, because it needs a new turn signal in the front so it won’t pass inspection. If you can’t change the turn signal light, don’t buy this car.

If you want to cruise down Main Street and look cool, blasting the stereo, don’t buy this. No one will think you’re cool. The upgraded speaker head unit, the subwoofer in the back, even the brand new speakers, won’t change their minds.

This car is not a mustang. It doesn’t have a big V8 that rumbles and shakes the car. This is the other guy, the one with a BOV and turbo flutter that makes tough guys giggle.

For those that know what a BOV is, then you’ll know how to fix a hesitation issue standing in the way of a fast quarter mile. For those who know what XR4TI stands for, buy this car. I want to park cash in my garage where this car currently sits away from the weather.

Don’t buy this car if you want to show off in the high school parking lot. This car is not a mustang.

Buy this car if you want to be faster than a mustang.

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“the parts are easy to find and cheap” LOL, there’s a reason Merkurs always come with a hoard of parts the owner had collected. Any parts that are Merkur/Sierra specific are basically unobtanium. Still, I would totally buy one.

DISCUSSION (17)

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 11:50

In case of Kinja, break glass:

https://boston.craigslist.org/nos/cto/d/this-merkur-xr4ti-is-not/6727509776.html

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 11:55

I like it. it would go well with the “not a Mustang” from earlier this morning.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 11:56

i like this guy, not enough to buy is generic brand mustang, but i like him

For Sweden > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 11:57

Buy this car if you want to be faster than a mustang.

hmm

Chariotoflove > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 11:59

This is awesome.

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 12:06

the fact you were searching for Merkur impresses me more

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner
10/24/2018 at 12:11

I mean, at one point my dad owned 2 of them so I am quite familiar with them.

But no, I wasn’t searching specifically for Merkurs. I just went to Craigslist and filtered for manual and RWD looking for stupid drift car ideas.

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 12:20

well thats a good option

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner
10/24/2018 at 12:28

You know, that’s not actually a bad idea. We’d have to come up with a good cooling solution though, both of my dad’s Merkurs used to run on the hotter side (especially the stage rally car) and drifting is notoriously bad for airflow through the rad. With the mods listed on this one it should easily be making 250-275HP which should be plenty to break the rears free and keep them spinning.

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 12:29

rear mounted radiator. boom. driftcar

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner
10/24/2018 at 12:40

I fell down the rabbit hole and it appears that Sierras are decently popular drift cars in Europe. So there is a knowledge base for setting these up for drifting. I’m really starting to like this idea over the boring “buy a cheap Nissan” option. My dad and I were both talking about wanting something unique and different to beat on and I doubt anyone at a drift event would even know these exist.

Dammit, I think I’m going to have to pitch this idea to my dad when I see him on Friday.

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
10/24/2018 at 12:43

i have an idea even though its a bmw https://youtu.be/ZUXFBzZRYR4