I had a toddler review the 2018 Volkswagen Atlas for me!

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
10/22/2018 at 10:57 • Filed to: None

To see how that ended up, check out my article(Repost for you all) :

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

DISCUSSION (18)

promoted by the color red > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:11

It’s blue, five fingers big, is pretty on the inside, and has lots of space inside . I’m sold, where’s the nearest VW dealer?

PS9 > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:13

Flagrant violation of child labor laws.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > promoted by the color red
10/17/2018 at 17:13

Bahaha when all of the points are brought together, I really think this article could be bet ter than I thought it would be.

Ash78, voting early and often > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:16

LOL...my wife started a Yelp account for our kids. It pulls exactly zero punches. People seem to love it, since Yelp is already disproportionately populated with single hipsters who see cockroaches as a sign of authenticity.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > PS9
10/17/2018 at 17:16

I paid him by letting him choose the Netflix show we watched and then cleaned up the hundreds of darts from my Nerf guns after he left.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Ash78, voting early and often
10/17/2018 at 17:18

I need these in my life. Kids are just drunk adults(pee and crap their pants, fall all over the place, slur their words, and are honest as could be) , but cuter.

Ash78, voting early and often > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:19

Yep, we basically came to that conclusion when our son was a couple months old. It was nothing but college memories of taking care of our drunk friends at 3am.

I guess that was just practice.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Ash78, voting early and often
10/17/2018 at 17:21

At least you can pick up the kids, college is still fresh for me(got married right out of college a year and half ago) and remembering the nights taking care of someone have been birth control enough so far haha. It also helps that we’re still young and like the flexibility only having the two greyhounds allows.

Ash78, voting early and often > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:24

You will never truly appreciate that flexibility, but that goes for any phase of life. We dated for 5 years (2 college, 3 after) before getting married, then waited 6 years to have kids. Both “breaks” were totally worth it because it let us learn to deal with that phase in life without a rush.

Today marks 14 years, btw! And our anniversary tradition is that we take the kids with us to dinner. We have plenty of other date nights alone....

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Ash78, voting early and often
10/17/2018 at 17:26

Congrats on the anniversary! My parents have their fix of being called grandpa/grandma as we drop off the grand-dogs quiet regularly to go do our travels so at least there is no pressure there.

Chariotoflove > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:32

Kids and VWs are the best.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/17/2018 at 17:37

Will your article do as well as Takuro’s from this morning?

19,000 readers can’t be wrong.

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/dodge-ram-it-1829791155

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
10/17/2018 at 17:37

#kinja’d

pip bip - choose Corrour > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/18/2018 at 05:15

ask him tomorrow and he’d give a completely different set of answers

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/22/2018 at 11:20

But but but...I really wanted to know how it drives!

What about the steering? Is is numb? artificially weighted? how many turns lock to lock? Is is FLAT BOTTOMED? does it have enough feedback? does it feel good in your hands with good 9 and 3 grips? does it COMMUNICATE the road with you?

What about the seats? Are the sporty and easy enough to adjust for SPORTY DRIVING? Does it have side bolsters that hold you in place when you are TACKLING YOUR FAVORITE BACK ROAD?

What about Visibility? Can you see out of this thing or is it like DRIVING A TANK OR A CAMARO ( I KNOW RIGHT?) How thick are the A Pillars? What about the C and D pillars? Can you change lanes without depending on the BLIS?

What about the ride and handling? Is is sublime? Does it have good turn in? Does it Understeer at the limit Aka 10/10ths? Power Oversteer? Hint of understeer as it enters the corner and then Does the rear fall in line? Followed by neutral handling as the TORQUE VECTORING AWD system does it’s magic? How is the RESPONSE? Is the Ride BALANCED AND SUBLIME? FIRM but CONTROLLED like ZE GERMAN SPORTS SEDANS?! Can you feel an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION TO THE CAR?

What about the engine and transmission? Does it MAKE ALL THE RIGHT NOISES? Does power come on IN A LINEAR FASHION? DOES IT PULL LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN with low down torque or do you have to wring it out? Does it SCREAM LIKE A BANSHEE or ROAR LIKE A LION? How is the turbo lag? Does is LOSE STEAM IN THE TOP END? Is the transmission QUICK-SHIFTING, Faster in Downshift or up shift? Are there PADDLE SHIFTERS? Are they LIGHTNING Quick? How unique and customization are the drive modes? is there any discernible difference?

Finally-How does this perform on the track?

Finally Finally- Is it worth buying this if it is not a Brown Manual Diesel Wagon that doesn’t come used from the factory?

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
10/22/2018 at 11:25

“ If you are looking for a true review of the Volkswagen Atlas, click here , replace every word that says “Tiguan” with “Atlas”. The Atlas is basically the same thing but 13” longer, 6” wider, and 4” taller. Congratulations! You now know everything you need to know about the Atlas from the standpoint of an automotive reviewer”

First paragraph !

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/22/2018 at 11:30

Read a whole paragraph?!

Kinja'd!!!

I was just channeling those internet commentors who want everything to be sporty and cheap and manual.

OmerCarrothers333 > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/22/2018 at 11:38

This is probably the best car review of all-time.