when are these people gunna learn

"OPPOsaurus WRX" (opposaurus)
10/12/2018 at 12:04 • Filed to: None

I’ve mentioned it before, I get these calls from Google Maps marketing assistance company whatever. Todays call:

Hi am I speaking with the business owner

Me: yes

google maps ass.: well blah blah blah

Me: cough, cough, choke, uh hang on

Ass: ok

Me: damn, uh, I just farted and this is the worst thing i’ve ever smelt.

now I though t that would be all it would take to get them to hang up, but she starts up again with blah blah whatever

Me o damn, I dont think i can handle this. It must have been the cheeseburger I had for breakfast. Damn, have you ever had a cheese burger for breakfast , cough cough choke, my stomach just can;t handle it, I dont think you should try it.

Ass: click

Any other ideas?

Yesterdays call:

Ass: Google maps ass, is this the business owner?

Me: Yes

Ass.: blah blah blah

Me: o sorry I dont speak English

Ass.: (in a very angry tone) your ridiculous

Me: YOUR OBNOXIOUS

A few days ago:

Ass.: google maps ass, is the business owner there?

Me: no hes on his way to meet you

Ass.: huh

He just jumped in his hot air balloon and is on his way to meet you this very moment.

EDIT WOW:

just since posting this like 15 minutes ago

Me: I dont speak English.

Ass.: Ok what language do you speak

Me: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (i didn;t think past this part) uhhhhhh oh, Swahili.

Ass.: (silence) Ok we’ll call you back.

DISCUSSION (9)

Future next gen S2000 owner > OPPOsaurus WRX
10/12/2018 at 12:25

You should tell them the business has no owner. It is self aware. They should call the business and speak directly to it. Hushed tones when speaking to or about the business , you don’t want to upset or offend it .

OPPOsaurus WRX > Future next gen S2000 owner
10/12/2018 at 12:26

excellent , you were only a couple minutes late or I could have just used that.