Whoever Installed This is a Bastard Man

"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5) 10/08/2018 at 21:36 • Filed to: None

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This is the awful shift knob on my Jetta, and let me tell you: it is ON THERE.

I picked up a Chinesium shift knob and boot for $10 on Amazon, and thought I’d take 30 seconds to go swap it. I took the set screws out, and apparently the shaft is bigger than the knob and it was installed with a hammer. It would be a hell of a chess match to get it off, b ut to quote Herr Starr: I’m tired of chess, it’s time to pla y some fucking  checkers.

arl > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/08/2018 at 21:48

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MOAR POWER

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/08/2018 at 21:49

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Was this the Chinesium knob?

sony1492 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/08/2018 at 22:11

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The last sentence coupled with the final picture really sets the tone.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/08/2018 at 22:58

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I’d have used a hydraulic nut splitter myself.

Regardless, 10:1 that Said Bastard bor ked the threads on the gearstick with the set screws and the hammering. So you new knob won't go on anyway...

WRXasaurus > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/08/2018 at 23:00

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Try a pipe wrench first. They are amazing.

Nom De Plume > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/09/2018 at 00:05

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You may not line up the coolest or wildest projects but they sure seem like you have fun on them.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/09/2018 at 00:17

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Explosives. Explosives will remove it...

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/09/2018 at 05:55

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Jesus. I mean I know the dude was a knob in life, so I guess that’s a fitting tribute. 

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 10/09/2018 at 05:56

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It’s actually an unthreaded shaft. The stock knob attaches with a clamp on a knurled portion, so even if I had to cut the lever right under the old knob, my new knob would go on there okay. 

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > WRXasaurus 10/09/2018 at 05:58

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I’m a YUGE believer in pipe wrenches. My first idea was Channellocks, but it didn’t turn the knob, it turned the whole shift lever and I briefly lost access to reverse. So it’s going to have to get cut off there. 

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > sony1492 10/09/2018 at 05:59

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If it can’t be assembled with hot melt glue or disassembled with a reciprocating saw, I don’t want it. 

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Nom De Plume 10/09/2018 at 05:59

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I was about to roll this car into the ocean over this stupid knob yesterday. I generally have a good time though. 

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 10/09/2018 at 06:00

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If the reciprocating saw doesn’t work (it’ll work), I’m planning to blow the car up anyway, so explosives it is. 

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/09/2018 at 06:29

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I thought VW used a threaded shaft! Cheapskates...[hmmph]

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 10/09/2018 at 07:51

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Right? I was mad about it, since I thought I remembered my allroad having a threaded lever , but that was because I installed an aftermarket shifter with a threaded lever. It also had a knurled/clamped setup stock. 

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/09/2018 at 07:52

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Be sure to rent a slow motion camera. Perhaps we can monetize the destruction on YT or somewhere. With any luck you'll break even...

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/09/2018 at 08:08

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At least you'll have a short throw shifter now?

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/09/2018 at 08:14

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I don’t think that’s supposed to be Jesus that guy looks older than 32