When does the paranoia go away?

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 10/02/2018 at 12:52 • Filed to: None

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It’s been almost five months since I was rear ended (firs t accident I’ve been in) and I still catch myself nervously glancing in the mirror every time I come to a stop.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 12:58

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It sort of never does. I still look more closely for cops behind the columns of an overpass (where the one who gave me a ticket four years ago was), still check my mirror during hard stops (since I got rear-ended three years ago) and still triple-check blind spots (since I pulled out/changed lanes into someone a year ago). It’s kind of paranoia, but more than that it’s learning and being more careful.

Even without having been rear-ended, it’s always a good idea to check your rear view mirror to see if the person behind you is stopping ok.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 12:58

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Takes a few months. We were in a very small minor fender bender at a stop light that did nothing more than some scuffs on the bumper and I was still wary for months if someome didnt come to a stop normally or stopped too close.

Wacko > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:00

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I was rear ended back in 1995 when i started driving, and to this day always look in the mirror to see if the cars behind me will stop too.

CalzoneGolem > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:07

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I’m on the second car since I got rear ended and my Cobalt totaled and I still get nervous at stops.

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:07

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TheTurbochargedSquirrel > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:09

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I got rear ended almost 5 years ago (and again a year later) and I still glance at the mirror every time I touch the brakes.

Ssfancyfresh > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:11

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It’s been 22 years since i was rear ended.

Never

Takuro Spirit > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:12

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Its been 13 YEARS since we had a Camry t ur n left in front of us and total our Focus.

I just recently let my wife drive me places again.

The spacious heated reclining backseat in the Durango may have something to do with that though.

OPPOsaurus WRX > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:12

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yea, never, people are always going to drive like dumbasses and you are always goin to have to look out for them

smobgirl > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:13

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I still get nervous driving at night after slamming into an elk 5 years ago when  it chose to walk out in front of me.

and 100 more > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:15

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Not making light of your situation at all; have you considered therapy? It sounds like you’re suffering a mild form of PTSD, to be quite honest, and getting in a car every day probably never allows you to get past the anxiety.

There is no shame in taking care of yourself. Might be worth a quick assessment, at least. We go to a physician for a suspicious cough, or to see if that toe is broken or just fractured; if you’re living in a constant state of anxiety related to a traumatic incident, why wouldn’t you get checked out?

ttyymmnn > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:15

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I was rear ended once about 15 years ago. I am not worried about it, in fact, I’ve mostly forgotten about it. But I always make a point of looking in my rearview mirror every time I have to make a hard stop, or even every time I stop. It’s not paranoia, it’s situational awareness. It’s defensive driving. You have to be prepared to react to what is happening behind you as well as what is happening in front of you, even if it’s just putting your head back and bracing for impact. Better yet is leaving enough room in front so you can boogie onto the shoulder to escape the oncoming car.

AestheticsInMotion > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/02/2018 at 13:19

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So true. My single ticket was 7 years ago, and to this day I slow down and check the sides every time I go through that stretch

BigBlock440 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:44

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I’ve never been rear-ended, I still check my mirrors.  It’s not a bad thing to be aware of whats going on behind you.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 13:48

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I’m 3 years since I was in an accident and I am hyper alert in the area where the accident occurred , believe me I’m checking my mirrors.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 14:17

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It was a year or two after my first that I stopped.  But I still fixate on my rear view when making a hard stop.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 14:26

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Still an issue for me and it’s been 3 years. The only good that’s come of it is that I’m more conscious of other drivers around me despite the accident not being my fault. I leave more space in front of me as emergency “roll forward space” if someone isn’t stopping in time too.

TysMagic > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 14:27

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I backed in to someone in a parking lot years ago. W e were both backing out of spots, but she was more in than out. I am constantly overly vigilant when backing out of parking spots now.

Alfalfa > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 14:29

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My wife was a passenger in a car involved in a fender bender once. For close to a year, she would flip out if any car moved closer to the car she was in. It slowly got better, now I  don’t think she even thinks about it. That was about 5 years ago.

My X-type is too a real Jaguar > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 14:39

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Never it just gets less intense. I was rear ended by a tractor trailer 4 years ago in a highway construction zone back up I still watch my rear view very closely in backups but I no longer break out in a cold sweat. 

MiniGTI - now with XJ6 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 14:55

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I’ve never been rear ended and I still do that. In fact, to a fault.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 15:10

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It doesnt go away unfortunately. Because it isnt any less likely to happen just because it already happened. Its just life to be unlucky and get rearended. Until self driving cars become prevalent, I will continue to fear stupid people.

My main mitigation to this worry is to avoid hard stops at ALL COSTS. Like sure there is nothing I can do about the already stopped at a light or traffic and someone just comes along and runs into me. But for any time I am moving, I will avoid stopping short no matter what. If that means more gap with the guy in front of me, going slower; whatever it may be. I get extreme anxiety with other people driving and they keep near-panic braking on the freeway just because traffic slows down a bit. I try to drive on the freeway like there are open glasses of water sitting in the trunk and my goal is to not spill any of them. Everything is smooth, predictable, and steady. Sure I get cut off and passed all the damn time but such is life. Its funny to me because on an open freeway I am gladly going 90+ but drive like a grandma in traffic. 

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 15:23

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I’ve never been rear-ended and I keep a look out every time I stop. I also keep some space to the car in front of me just in case. My foot is usually ready to put in the clutch as well when I see a car coming up behind me when I’m stationary just in case they don't slow down/stop.

I think we like our cars too much to not be paranoid.

Maxima Speed > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 15:34

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Now that I drive a large truck for work I’ve had to get used to not using my central rear view mirror. Its realign quite challenging because in normal driving I’m scanning all my mirrors constantly. Obviously the circumstance that started this habit was unfortunate but I would strongly suggest keeping the practice. It helps sooo much with your situational awareness and I think its not unreasonable to say it increases your safety on the road.

gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 15:45

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I’ve never been rear-ended and still do this. Construction zones where they stop traffic on the highway sketch me right out. There’s one I drive through regularly, along the “scenic route to Alaska"  where they’re replacing a bridge at the bottom of a valley. They’re stopping traffic just around a pretty blind corner at the bottom of a half-mile of 10% grade. I always sit there staring at the mirrors, hazards on, flashing brake lights at anyone approaching... and still wondering if it would be safer for me to sit and wait outside the Jeep instead of inside.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > and 100 more 10/02/2018 at 16:15

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I wouldn’t go so far as to call the incident traumatic, my car only received paint damage in the end. I did, however, happen to randomly look at my mirror at just the wrong time to see it completely filled with Rav4. That was more jarring than the actual impact and now I can’t help but look every time I stop. It's more of a habitual twitch than any sort of anxiety.

and 100 more > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 16:22

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I mean, if you’re still paranoid after five months, maybe it had more of an impact than you’d like to think.

kanadanmajava1 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 16:29

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I g ot rear ended on a highway by a speeding van . This sent me sideways and off the highway. M y poor Polo rolled but the only damage that I took was a stiff neck for a week. Maybe someone here even remembers my report about this 4 years ago.

I haven’t been very bothered about the accident afterwards. It seemed like a situation that’s quite unlikely to rep ea t. I have had always a habit of following my mirrors very often but in this acc ident I didn’t spot anything in time .

gmctavish needs more space > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 18:21

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I got less stressed in general about driving about a year after the accident I was in, but it changed how I drive, even though it wasn’t my fault. I’m less aggressive and more defensively,  I’m even more aware of other people and trying to predict what they’ll do, I speed less. I have the heightened awareness, and experience, to thank for avoiding several near accidents since then. None of them would’ve been my fault, but because I’m more on edge and aware when I drive, I’ve avoided them altogether.

It’s worth noting I had to get comfortable with driving again really quickly because my job at the time was driving.

wafflesnfalafel > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/02/2018 at 21:00

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that’d be never - if I see the yahoo behind me looking down at their damn phone while they roll up I’m pumping the brakes the entire time. “Hellooo, helloo, get off your f’n phone, hellooo..”

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > wafflesnfalafel 10/02/2018 at 21:18

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Cars should have a feature where when the brake pedal is depressed fully the lights start strobing to indicate a panic stop.