A long tube with a bunch of demons

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 10/02/2018 at 11:34 • Filed to: Planelopnik

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That’s how megachurch grifter Kenneth Copeland describes modern air travel as he explains why he needs a private jet. So he can talk to God without being disturbed. A long with Jesse Duplantis, another religious con man, the two  describe how their million-dollar jets, which apparently are gifts from God, are the only way they can carry out their ministry .

Just Jeepin' > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:37

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“Long tube with a bunch of demons” invites so, so  many off-color jokes.

For Sweden > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:38

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How hard is it to say “We performed a time-cost analysis and determined that a private jet not only saved considerable time, it can also be used for missionary work when not used for personnel transport?”

promoted by the color red > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:38

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

I would also have accepted “What is my digestive tract  like after consuming Taco Bell Fire sauce?”

My bird IS the word > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:38

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Just like jesus would have wanted. Exorbitantly wealthy and powerful priests.

looking at you, catholic church.

ttyymmnn > My bird IS the word 10/02/2018 at 11:40

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What Would Jesus Fly?

HammerheadFistpunch > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:42

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O ne thing I know about Jesus is that he hated being around imperfect people and prefered to only sit quietly and think about himself.

Ash78, voting early and often > For Sweden 10/02/2018 at 11:43

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Basically just apply the private sector, for-profit answer and watch people nod their heads.

My bird IS the word > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:44

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Jesus would probably ride the train, or maybe coach if it was international.

Matt Nichelson > For Sweden 10/02/2018 at 11:45

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Because that is way above the heads of dumbfucks who listen to people like this idiot. 

fintail > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:45

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We’d be better off if those who fall for this con weren’t allowed to vote.

For Sweden > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:45

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Probably a Jet Commander

or a Kfir if he feels sporty

WilliamsSW > HammerheadFistpunch 10/02/2018 at 11:46

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It says so right there in the bible!  

ranwhenparked > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:46

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Well, I mean, he isn't entirely wrong.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:46

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I think “bunch of demons” is harsh, but familiar to anybody who flies economy regularly.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > For Sweden 10/02/2018 at 11:46

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Probably because it doesn't/won't

facw > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:46

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Ernest Angley has this:

Wikipedia says that he does also use it to transport missionaries and humanitarian aid, but I bet you could save a lot of money (and use it to help the poor) by chartering or flying commercial.

That said, if I had a ton of money, a 747SP would make a pretty awesome private jet.

ttyymmnn > For Sweden 10/02/2018 at 11:46

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Isn’t the Kfir from the Old Testament?

WilliamsSW > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 10/02/2018 at 11:47

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Wait, so you’re suggesting that if it’s not true, you can’t say it? :)

ttyymmnn > facw 10/02/2018 at 11:47

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Damn, isn’t that guy dead yet? He’s been around forever. 

For Sweden > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:48

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It first flew in 1973, so close enough

facw > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:49

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Wikipedia says alive at 97.

Svend > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:50

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Ah yes, religion. Megachurches taking advantage of the most gullible of the gullible. 

Urambo Tauro > WilliamsSW 10/02/2018 at 11:52

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2nd opinions is my favorite book

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:53

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The screen grab makes me think of this guy:

ttyymmnn > WilliamsSW 10/02/2018 at 11:53

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It was much better than the default one that came with the video.

DipodomysDeserti > For Sweden 10/02/2018 at 11:54

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Suffice it to say that explaining things using truth and logic is pretty dofficult for these guys.

DipodomysDeserti > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 11:57

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davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > My bird IS the word 10/02/2018 at 11:57

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random001 > Just Jeepin' 10/02/2018 at 11:58

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As in “I got one of those.  Hue hue hue!”

XJDano > Just Jeepin' 10/02/2018 at 12:04

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I’ve had a vasectomy. This doesn’t apply to me anymore. 

Future next gen S2000 owner > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 12:11

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I should really get into his line of work.

ttyymmnn > For Sweden 10/02/2018 at 12:13

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Because then that would make what they do sound like a business, and they’d have to start paying taxes. Like the rest of us.

For Sweden > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 12:24

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They would hardly be the only charitable organization with a private plane

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > facw 10/02/2018 at 12:51

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God keeps trying to get rid of him, Satan keeps saying “hell no I ain’t putting up with that shit.”

RallyWrench > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 13:15

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Every time I hear of these clowns asking for money or justifying unbelievable personal expenses , I think of this:

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Future next gen S2000 owner 10/02/2018 at 14:35

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I think ca lling it “work ” might be a bit much. Maybe “fraud"?

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > ttyymmnn 10/02/2018 at 16:02

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I thought this was going to be about long tube headers. I am disappoint.

user314 > ttyymmnn 10/03/2018 at 10:14

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“Long tube with a bunch of demons”

But enough about United Airline’s cabin crews....

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/04/2018 at 19:49

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Hey: I resemble that remark!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 10/04/2018 at 20:17

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You were a fan. Admit it.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/04/2018 at 20:25

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I had no idea what he was saying. His wife has taken up the reins since he died of prostate cancer. He was born in 1929, so I can only imagine how young she was when he married her.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 10/04/2018 at 23:45

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You used to watch him. I never had any idea what he was on about, but I saw him fire a guy on live TV on night.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/04/2018 at 23:53

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I was probably stoned. He probably was, too. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 10/05/2018 at 16:43

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No, just fascinated, I expect. It’s hard not to stare at some of those clowns. “When I say ‘Go,” start speaking in tongues, until I say ‘Stop.’”