Fuck Snap Pajamas

"Tom McParland" (tommcparland) 09/30/2015 at 18:49 • Filed to: parentlopnik, dadlopnik

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Not car related (so bonkers Jag for your time), but I need to get this out. Here is tip for all the soon to be parents out there. Under no circumstances should buy snap pajamas for your infant. I don’t care how cute they look, heed this warning carefully.

For those that are unaware there are basically two types of PJs for infants, zip-up and snap.-up. Also possible is button up, but those are probably hand-me downs from your great Aunt or something.

This is the scenario that will happen with your infant...they will wake up fussy because they are hungry and their diaper is full. You get the bottle ready and go to change them. With the zip up PJs, you unzip make the change and in one quick motion you zip them back up and it’s feeding time. With the snap PJs, getting them off is well...a snap, but getting them back on takes THREE TIMES AS LONG! Now the baby is hungry and fussing, and squirming...because you can’t line up the damn snaps right. Who invented this madness!

Trust me on this one new parents...buy the zips and only the zips.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 18:54

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WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST MY PAJAMAS?

Tom McParland > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 09/30/2015 at 18:56

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You can wear whatever pajamas you like...but I ain’t putting them on you. :D

Textured Soy Protein > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 18:57

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Meanwhile, at the McParland house:

vicali > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:02

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zips and two-piece pjs asap..

Sam > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:02

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Someone should invent magnetic PJs then you just have to get close and they’ll latch.

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:07

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As a parent of an almost 1 year old I agree with this position, snaps at 3 AM are a special circle of hell. Sleep sacks are also awesome so you don’t have to fight with getting feet into the PJs either.

Spaceball-Two > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:14

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Agreed! When I’m changing the boy I usually reach for the zips that go down one leg over the snaps THAT NEVER MATCH UP!!!!

phenotyp > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:17

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Seriously. We’re not Amish.

RallyWrench > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:30

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Oh man, this is so, so true. I’m laughing at my desk. I have a 2-month old, and I refuse to use half the onesies we have because they’re these ridiculously elaborate button-ups. Fuck those things. I prefer the solid ones with only 3 buttons fastening across the bottom, simply slip them over the head and you’re good. I was going to do a rant on swaddles, and all the zip-up, button down, noisy velcro-over shit you have to go through to wrap up a kid. Maybe I’ll work that one up. I do all the changing, burping, and putting down to sleep at night, I think about this shit a lot.

Brian, The Life of > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 19:52

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One of my larval units was a prolific pooper. There was not a diaper made that could contain her “fury.” It was not unusual for the mess to travel up her back, well beyond the confines of her pampers. In these cases, I sometimes resorted to scissors - I’d literally cut her out of her “onesy” tshirts rather that try to pull the destroyed garment over her head.

My wife and I eventually nicknamed those scissors “the jaws of life.”

Tohru > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 22:24

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... you’re only taking them off him?

Tohru > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 22:24

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An even better pro-tip: Don’t have kids.

Wacko > Tohru 09/30/2015 at 23:27

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Wacko > Spaceball-Two 09/30/2015 at 23:29

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Still happens to me with my 16 month year old

Wacko > Tom McParland 09/30/2015 at 23:40

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When I change my daughter I always pick the ones with the Zips or just tops and bottoms. She is 16 months. We are expecting our first son in less than a month, so intense diaper changing for us.

Any other oppos use washable diapers.?

We don’t use them for the first 2 months, since they are too big. We have about 20 diapers, and do a diaper wash every 2 or 3 days. We use normal diapers for the night.

46and2aheadofme > Tom McParland 10/07/2015 at 23:43

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Late to this post but as a dad of a 1-year-old, amen. Look for the one piece jammies with one zipper (to rule them all) from neck to one toe. I actually hid all the other kinds so a relative or babysitter couldn’t accidentally create a middle of the night meltdown (me, not the baby).