Is your car jalop?

"SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie" (sidewaysondirt) 09/25/2015 at 14:12 • Filed to: jalop, decisions, where is your god now?

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With all of the debate about what makes a car jalop, I’ve decided to just clear some things up by making a unanimous unenforceable autocratic decision. Post a picture of your car here (YOUR car, not from the internet), and I will simplify all of this by telling you whether or not it is jalop. I am very good at judging people and their cars. I have tons of experience with this. There will be no appeals and the only judgement is final. I WILL JUDGE YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMN CAR!

First up, Charlie - Jalop as fuck - At the event this picture was taken at, I had to rip off a part of bodywork that was dangling to pass tech and my engine blew up in the second heat. Good times.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:19

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http://jalopnik.com/how-jalop-is-y…

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:21

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Klaus

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:21

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Although not back on the road yet, hopefully next week

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 09/25/2015 at 14:22

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Has a name and a V12 - Jalop

tylinol > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:22

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SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 09/25/2015 at 14:22

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So it’s not running now? - MegaJalop

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:23

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E36 328 rally project

DD

62 sport fury lemons car

05 CBR600RR former DD

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:24

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SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > tylinol 09/25/2015 at 14:25

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Extinct company that built things weird for no apparent reason - Jalop

Stomehow still around company that built things poorly for Italian reasons - Jalop

I must admit to being a bit disappointed, though. Oppo is too Jalop.

Firewrx234 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:26

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My Charger and my C250. (Charger’s being sold soon though *tear*)

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:26

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Just look at this glorious beast. The picture doesn’t show it well, but that ice is like 6” thick on the left side of the car.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:27

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Changing carbs out, the DCOE 45s were just too big and we are swapping for DCOE 40s and a 280Z ignition while we’re at it. Just finished the rear disk conversion in time to decide to swap the carbs.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:29

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Two in picture. W124 Benz 300d (‘87), and... something.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Santiago of Escuderia Boricua 09/25/2015 at 14:29

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Rally = Auto Jalop - Not even my ability to judge can prevent that.

Toyobaru - I own one too, but not jalop - They’re everywhere and usually riced to hell before they even leave the lot

LeMons - another Auto Jalop - If the car’s cheap and raced, it’s automatic.

Squidmobile - SQUIDS ARE NOT FUCKING JALOP GET OFF OF MY GOD DAMN POST

Bytemite > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:29

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I wanted to get the MR2 mk1a in light blue, no sunroof.

But I never found one...and settled on the Miata.

Then I took a drive to a twisty mountain road in SF South bay...and I saw one. Parked on the street, the exact car I was looking for in pristine condition. Sigh. Am I still Jalop?

yitznewton > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:29

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The Gray Ghost

Bone stock Mk4

OK, I cheated

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > yitznewton 09/25/2015 at 14:30

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Diesel or gas? 1.8t?

HammerheadFistpunch > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:30

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Tripper > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:30

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Do em all! (The R1 is not mine so you can leave that out if you want)

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:30

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Will with a W8 races an E30 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:30

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Rachel:

Current Lawn Ornament:

Hauler/Daily:

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:31

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1986 Toyota Celica ST Coupe.

- 1.6 liter, fwd.

Pictures were taken at the Nurburgring, that counts for something right?

LongbowMkII > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:33

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C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

lone_liberal > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:34

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It’s a Camaro and it’s powered by a SBC so that’s not very Jalop but it still has junkyard inventory numbers on the fender and still hasn’t been on the road. Those have to count for something . It was also once home to a nice mouse family.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Tripper 09/25/2015 at 14:36

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Grom - Jalop - Even something with two wheels can be Jalop if it’s pocket-sized

R1 - SQUIDS ARE NOT FUCKING JALOP

E46 - Not Jalop - convertible M3? More like an MNope

VW - Not Jalop - Too new, too golf, too originally FWD

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 14:36

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder 09/25/2015 at 14:38

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The 1.6 is the DOHC 4AGE, right? If so, Jalop for that. Otherwise nope.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Will with a W8 races an E30 09/25/2015 at 14:39

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First two are obvious auto Jalops. The truck used primarily for racecar, or other hauling?

Mainettops > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:39

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81, Built SBC runs 60% of the time and only eats 4-5 P/S belts a year..

tylinol > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:39

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That wasn’t even my final form

TheRealBicycleBuck > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:40

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When my wife is out of town, my driveway is AWESOME! Then she comes home and clutters it up with an Explorer....

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 09/25/2015 at 14:40

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How’s that V6/4AT combination working out for you? I hear it’s a winning combo in a Honda.

Not Jalop.

Party-vi > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:41

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The Willys. V8. 4WD. The only driving aids are power steering and an air horn. Jalop-and-a-half.

Will with a W8 races an E30 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:42

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100% because racecar.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > lone_liberal 09/25/2015 at 14:42

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Two tone primer? This one’s tough because it’s being raced and it’s hideous, which makes me want to put it into auto-Jalop territory, but it’s only for a few seconds in a straight line. I’m also worried that I might be found in the trunk of it if I un-Jalop it, so I’m going to stick with Jalop on this one.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Will with a W8 races an E30 09/25/2015 at 14:43

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Jalop triple crown!

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Party-vi 09/25/2015 at 14:43

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Only I get to call Jalop. Not Jalop ;)

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:44

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Come at me bro...

And finally my DD, BRG 04 X-Type 3.0 with a 5 speed manual and sports suspension.

This was me just laying down some sweet, sweet parking justice.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > TheRealBicycleBuck 09/25/2015 at 14:44

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What year Explorer? First gen two door might be bordering on Jalop.

Ranger - Jalop

WRX - Sorry, too many Subie bros ricing them out. Not Jalop.

Baeromez > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:45

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#floridalife

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:46

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1995 BMW M3 5spd

I’m at your mercy

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/25/2015 at 14:46

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Were you able to get the Disco II down from there? How did the tow truck hook up to it at that angle?

No reliability anywhere in your lineup is auto Jalop.

Tripper > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:46

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What does “Squid” mean in your context? Crotch rocket?

tmanhwm > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:47

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Punk_Girl_98 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:47

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I have no car so... yes!

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 09/25/2015 at 14:47

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Ooh, it’s clean. This is a rare case of clean and uncluttered actually working in favor of Jalop because of the stancebros. Congratulations! You made an E36 M3 Jalop without even having to break out the primer.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 14:47

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moon caps and “wood”? that’s jalop as fuck

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:47

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Will with a W8 races an E30 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:48

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WOOHOO!!! (what do I win?)

Tohru > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:48

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I can’t post pictures because mobile Kinja.

Dark blue 1998 Bonneville - 3800 Series II V6,naturally aspirated.

Baby Blue 1994 Buick Century -2.2l pushrod I-4, not running, 86k miles.

Red 1995 F150. 4.9L inline 6,automatic, rwd. Bench seat. Am/fm/no cassette or CD, 189k miles.

Dasupersprint - base trim is enough > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:49

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I never learned how to drive automatic!

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Will with a W8 races an E30 09/25/2015 at 14:49

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Let’s see.... I have a few dead motor mounts, a hacked up AW11 wiring harness, and a York peppermint patty at hand. Take your pick!

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:49

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You’re a gentleman dirty man and not a scholar!

Thanks so much :)

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:49

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5AT..and waiting for it to blow up. My next car will be much more Jalop

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:49

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Interesting... I was expecting a full pass. I have considered selling the bike for race car money

RazoE > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:50

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Turbo LSD manual. Is I jalop?

Will with a W8 races an E30 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:53

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Ooh! York patty. Also, is this Charlie? Had it as by desktop background for a while. I have a soft spot for AW11s- got my first speeding ticket in one...

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:53

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Baeromez > lone_liberal 09/25/2015 at 14:53

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Nope. That thing is Jalop as fuck. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Dasupersprint - base trim is enough 09/25/2015 at 14:54

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Pickup truck pretending to be a sports car - Not Jalop

Snow tires and rally lights? Jalop as shit

All classic Minis are automatically Jalop. IIRC, didn’t the old ones’ tranny and engine share an oil pan? Design flaws that obvious are Jalop as shit.

Tohru > Tripper 09/25/2015 at 14:54

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I always imagine that while riding the Grom it just says its name over and over like a Pokemon : “Grom-Grom-Grom-Grom-Grom”.

It makes me smile.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > tylinol 09/25/2015 at 14:55

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I don’t even feel like I need to say anything. Obvious Jalop is obvious. Even the bike is.

Baeromez > Baeromez 09/25/2015 at 14:55

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Also, my previous car.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:56

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The most reliable, unreliable vehicles you can buy.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Tripper 09/25/2015 at 14:56

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People who ride crotch rockets. Mostly joking, but you know those jackasses who ride like major idiots in a t-shirt and shorts? Those are squids.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Will with a W8 races an E30 09/25/2015 at 14:57

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Haha, nope but I’ve seen that pic. They’ve become surprisingly common in amateur rally it seems. People like to live dangerously.

crowmolly > lone_liberal 09/25/2015 at 14:57

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1.) Did not know you owned this, it’s awesome. Keep at it.

2.) Ditch the foam air cleaner, that shit will burn your car to the ground

Tripper > Tohru 09/25/2015 at 14:57

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It’s pretty much just like that haha. Hard to ride without smiling, I think the best part about it is that it’s so tiny/cute that people don’t even think twice when I’m doing 55 in a 25.

Dasupersprint - base trim is enough > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 14:58

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I expected the exact same answers

Tripper > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:00

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That makes perfect sense. Well, then I’ve encountered only 3 types of motorcycle people. Squids, Harley dudes (also with no safety gear), and my buddy who rides that R1 around in a track suit.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:00

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I have a FoST, so not jalop. I am merely a novice in the Church of Manuel.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > RazoE 09/25/2015 at 15:01

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MS3 without a hood scoop, or did you modify a normal one? Either is Jalop.

citizennick > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:01

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SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Dasupersprint - base trim is enough 09/25/2015 at 15:02

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I was actually a little torn because of the (presumably) plastidipped wheels. They look good, but I’m a sucker for black and gold because JPS Lotus.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Baeromez 09/25/2015 at 15:03

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Definitely Jalop in that state if you drove it like that for a while.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Baeromez 09/25/2015 at 15:04

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Such murderous. Very not Jalop.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/25/2015 at 15:05

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Not Jalop - Not modified for off-roading and looks clean. Presumably, this 4Runner was well kept in suburbia for 10-13 years before being sold when it was time to get an RX. This 4Runner might have a soul, but it hasn’t been released yet. Let it go!

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 09/25/2015 at 15:06

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FiSTs are still Jalop, but they’re on notice.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Bytemite 09/25/2015 at 15:06

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Miata’s still Jalop.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Firewrx234 09/25/2015 at 15:06

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All the nopes.

Tohru > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:07

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Let me try again, ignore previous post.

Bonnie:

The Buick (currently parked for engine diagnostics):

TohruTruck MK3:

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Tohru 09/25/2015 at 15:08

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Bonne’s rusted to hell, right? At least two radio switches missing? Yeah, I know those cars... - Jalop

Century - Only Jalop if you are actively trying to kill it. It seems like you’re actively trying to get it running again. Why?

F150 - Jalop

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/25/2015 at 15:08

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All the Jalops.

lone_liberal > crowmolly 09/25/2015 at 15:09

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I’ve actually already replaced it. I just needed to find one that would fit under the hood as those hoods don’t leave a lot of room. It’s getting close. Carpet install, the seats and steering wheel and it should be road going, if not quite finished.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > LongbowMkII 09/25/2015 at 15:09

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...

I’m still waiting...

crowmolly > lone_liberal 09/25/2015 at 15:10

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What carb? Running a high rise intake?

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:10

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I knew that would be the answer. It was driven for about 5 years and then spent the rest not being driven until I got it. 134 thousand on it. And it’s only 2wd so no off road.

AndyG_UK > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:10

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SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 09/25/2015 at 15:12

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Jalop

Not Jalop (all volvos should have hatches)

Jalop

Baeromez > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:12

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Sadly, I did not. The Grand Am bravely gave its life in an 80 mph double roll into a ditch. My passenger and I were absolutely unharmed and, freakishly, none of the windows even cracked. #pontiac #floridalife

AndyG_UK > AndyG_UK 09/25/2015 at 15:13

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And

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 09/25/2015 at 15:13

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Needs more rust or at least one two-tone-primer body panel, but I’ll let it slide. Jalop

TheRealBicycleBuck > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:13

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RANGER!?! Excuse me, Sir, but that is a MAZDA! Even more Jalop for having an identity crises. It is also a) old, b) a manual complete with five speeds and a third pedal, c) full of zoom-zoom, and d) is no longer offered anywhere in the U.S. Even without all the facts, you are correct in its jalopness.

However, you should note that the WRX is stock with the exception of its fine assortment of unusual hats. No Ricer-bro to be found here.

It has even been shown to enjoy a little dirt.

The Explorer looks like a fleet vehicle. No Jalop to be found there except when I am using it to pull things.

I believe these facts call into question your skills as a judge.

:)

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > citizennick 09/25/2015 at 15:13

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FoSTs are automatically not Jalop.

lone_liberal > crowmolly 09/25/2015 at 15:13

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No, the motor is very mild. Just an Edelbrock Performer with an Edelbrock 600cfm on top of it. I thought it was better to make getting it on the road a priority right now.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > AndyG_UK 09/25/2015 at 15:13

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I think this is the only newish car I’ve called Jalop so far.

Baeromez > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:16

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I’m not saying I have ever killed anyone, but if I do I’m well prepared to appear on an episode of Cops.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > AndyG_UK 09/25/2015 at 15:16

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In America that would be Jalop as hell. I’m not as up on the conversion rate between American Jalops and UK Jaloups are at the moment.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Punk_Girl_98 09/25/2015 at 15:16

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No car could be Jalop if you’re using that as an excuse to test drive all of your friends’ cars. You can test drive all of the cars, and that would be Jalop.

DrJohannVegas > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:16

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Am I supposed to care?