Ordering an F80 M3: One Man's Journey Toward his Dream Car

"Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark" (arischwartz) 09/12/2015 at 16:10 • Filed to: bmw, deutschebag, m3

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The order:

I couldn’t help it. My F30 328i’s lease was up, and I just couldn’t deal with not having a third pedal anymore. I just felt... so empty. I looked at 335i, but it felt heavy, unbalanced compared to my 328i, and just wasn’t enough of an upgrade. The 340i is coming, but with all the options I wanted, it came out to $10k less than the M3, and at that point I was like, “well this is dumb.”

So I did it. I ordered an M3. The way I want it. T-minus 8 weeks or so.

I test drove a C63S, and while I thought the interior was nicer, and the engine is a hoot, I couldn’t justify another $10K for a car with an automatic transmission. I tested out the ATS-V as well, but that interior just didn’t do it for me. So M3 it was.

This is going to be the longest wait of my life.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 16:16

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A woman at my work just got one in that blue-gray color. Manuél too! The body lines are really striking, much better than the last one.

LongbowMkII > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 16:19

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congrats, keep an eye on those tire pressures!

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 09/12/2015 at 16:19

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I considered an E90 M3 on and off, but one big thing sold me on the F80: look at the torque/hp comparison:

There’s no comparison there. Never mind that I already like my F30, the F80 blows the E90 out of the water in terms of usable power. Decent enough MPG, too!

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > LongbowMkII 09/12/2015 at 16:21

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Yeah, especially on those 19”ers. I figured I’d get a little compressor for the garage and just do a bi-weekly check.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 16:26

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That's exactly how I'd order mine! It's such a striking combo in person. Congrats and keep us updated!

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 09/12/2015 at 16:30

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Well, a big part of it was that I had to keep the Deutschebaggery alive. My current F30:

I just will never do black ever again. NEVER EVER AGAIN.

AUDACIA > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 16:31

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Fly to Germany!

A european roadtrip from the BMW Welt (stunning building by the way) featuring the ‘ring, the picturesc italian countryside and swiss alpin passes would be an unforgettable holiday for sure

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > AUDACIA 09/12/2015 at 16:33

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I wanted to do ED so badly! But I just started a new job (and it’s a dream job, lemme tell you) and I burned through to -40 hours of PTO on a recent trip to Africa. It’s not even the money, it’s that I can’t take time off! And my job went and gave me an awesome and important project, too.

Life is hard, man. :-P

On the bright side, I’ve already driven through Germany and Switzerland before, only in a little Peugeot 206. However, my wife is itching to replace her Prius in a few years with something from Das Germans, so I’ll probably get my chance.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > LongbowMkII 09/12/2015 at 16:33

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Now...

Vicente Esteve > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 16:39

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Congrats! It is a damn sexy car. A BMW with red leather is a proper BMW. Enjoy it and keep us updated!

AUDACIA > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 16:40

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Sadly, in a few years she’ll get the chance to replace it with a BMW that resembles the Prius in some very unsporty FWD hybrid way. (Thinkin about the new 2017? 1 Series sedan)

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Vicente Esteve 09/12/2015 at 16:41

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I figure I’ll write on the delivery, break-in, etc. Now it’s just lots of waiting.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > AUDACIA 09/12/2015 at 16:43

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Oh, no. She wants either a Macan or the GLA45 (or whatever is out at that time.) She likes fast cars, and the Prius is a long story involving financial constraints and certain needs at the time.

She’s finishing residency soon. She has lots of pent-up demand.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 17:06

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Nice choice. Style talks, power walks.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 09/12/2015 at 17:08

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TBH, the only serious competitor was the C63S, but that’s $10K more for a car that as far as I’m concerned is just nicer inside. But that sweet sweet engine note almost got me! Almost...

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 17:13

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*jealousy intensifies*

Jokes aside, congratulations man! car looks beautiful, albeit not the color combo I’d be ordering.

Keep us updated on what is now one of the quickest cars on oppo! :D

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 09/12/2015 at 17:19

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I think the color combos are definitely everyone’s preference. I had one over option I considered, which was the blue with tan interior, but I don’t like the Yas Marina as much as the Estoril, so I just went with gray.

I’m curious which colors you’d have gone with.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 17:46

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I was a huge fan of the red they had, but if we’re to buy an M3 today; I’d go with the BMW individual Tanzanite metallic, over golden brown extended merino leather; including silver aluminum trim. also, I personally prefer the all-silver wheels to the ones you’ve got. This build comes out to $70K as the paint and leather add like $4k to the car

LongbowMkII > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 09/12/2015 at 18:01

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thats how i built mine after opening this thread

Twinpowermeansoneturbo > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 18:05

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It is indeed going to be the longest wait of your life. Just be prepared for delays. Your order could go without a hitch, or you could end up like me and have stuff go sideways. It's all part of the experience.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Twinpowermeansoneturbo 09/12/2015 at 18:16

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TBH, I could be okay with a delay. I’m happy with my current car, so I wouldn’t be too upset. It’s also less fighting with the dealer on whatever pull ahead program BMW has. I know they do one every November/December, but I prefer to just have life be easy.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 09/12/2015 at 18:23

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Ah, that’s a nice combo. I prefer the carbon fiber trim, myself.

This stuff is fun. Not gonna lie, I’d definitely consider your package as well! It would be a close second.

E92M3 > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 18:47

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Congrats!

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > E92M3 09/12/2015 at 18:54

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Thanks! Now the waiting...

E92M3 > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 20:24

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There’s still time to change the color!

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > E92M3 09/12/2015 at 20:43

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But I like the mineral gray... :-(

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 22:05

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(please do it, please do it, please do it, but with carbon trim :D )

nawww it's not that good ;)

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/12/2015 at 22:06

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Mmm dat Salhir Orange leather...

Eta the current M cars have some of the best interior and exterior color options. Going right now.

Yoga Nerd, Maybe Dead > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 11:51

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Sending this to my husband. Congratulations!

Yoga Nerd, Maybe Dead > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 11:54

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So like my husband tracked his shipment so obsessively. I’m sure you’re seen the bimmerpost thread on tracking every single part of it, down to watching the tracker of the damn cargo ship.

And man, not flying to Germany? Pussy.

Also, our F31 is mineral grey with coral red interior. The combo is dope as hell. I approve of this.

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 11:58

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Congrats!

If only they’d make one with a D pillar. I keep thinking I’ll just keep my F31 and throw a Dinan tune on it and pretend it’s a manual with the silly paddle shifters. :-/

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 13:21

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I can’t take the flappy paddles anymore. They’re just so lifeless. :-(

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Yoga Nerd, Maybe Dead 09/14/2015 at 13:22

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Hahahah, I considered doing ED, but I just got back from a 2 week trip to Africa where I blew all 80 hours of PTO of which I only had 40 hours accrued. No vacations for this boy for the next half a year... :-(

I already told my wife when she orders her next toy she needs to make it German so we get an ED at least once!

And yeah, I’m getting obsessive. It’s BAD.

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 13:43

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They’re completely pointless in these executive cars. Sport+ and the shifter in S does all the work necessary. It’s beautifully engineered, but I miss having a manual.

Oh well. Back to my “Please, BMW, send us performance wagons with sticks” letter-writing campaign.

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 13:44

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“And yeah, I’m getting obsessive. It’s BAD.”

Trust me, it gets worse.

Yoga Nerd, Maybe Dead > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 13:59

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[That’s my husband, down there. Yes, it really does - he was like a little kid waiting for Christmas, if that little boy could track his presets on a website]

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 14:02

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:-O

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 14:02

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M3 wagon in the US? One day?

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Yoga Nerd, Maybe Dead 09/14/2015 at 15:06

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:-|

I really need this car in my life. NEEEEEEED. :-P

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 17:08

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I would even take a 340i wagon, just as a small token of love. And a manual. And RWD.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 17:27

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Yeah, I’m not hopeful, sadly. I know wagon sales are up a bit, but I think they’re still primarily being marketed to the “sorta not sporty” crowd. I don’t get it. Wagons are FUN.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com 09/14/2015 at 17:28

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Thanks :-). I did like it better than the C63 color options, even if the C63 had the better interior materials (by far, sadly.)

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 17:47

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It’s purely styling. We’re still part of a generation of car buyers who remember being in their family’s or friends’ frumpy, faux-wood panel Caprice wagons, usually stuck in the way back seat. They aren’t remembered fondly by people who want a performance vehicle, because they don’t mesh with the ethos, and invariably all wagons look like frumpy grocery-getters to them.

But here’s what kills me. Look at the E90 or the F30 sedan and then look at the wagon versions. Literally the same dimensions, and hardly any weight added, just an extra pillar and a rear wiper (okay, in the US, we’re forced into xDrive which adds more weight, but I’m looking at what’s offered globally). I mean, It’s the same car. Except one has more usable room. Can’t track a wagon as easily? Doesn’t matter since most folks don’t even track their M cars anyways. And besides, it’s more about your skills. Just ask this guy:

http://f30.bimmerpost.com/forums/showthr…

Oh well. Some day, they’ll bring over a decent wagon. Volvo did it recently with the Polestar and they SOLD OUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. They even committed to a second run of them. So there’s no interest for performance wagons in the US? Wrong. No one will actually buy one? Wrong:

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/07/volvo-…

That BMW can’t manage to at least do a trial run of performance wagons here in the US is almost embarrassing. Not even the 340i. Volvo is eating their lunch in this segment. We’re talking about Polestar here. From a purely marketing point of view, think of the cache that ///M has in the states and imagine a wagon version alongside the sedan. Volvo just showed it works just fine in limited numbers.

sorry, /rant

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 17:55

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This is so true. Every time I walk by a C63, I think I’ll go to the dark side once this lease is up. Other than the color options that BMW offers for the M cars, the overall interior is out to lunch compared to Merc’s offerings.

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 18:26

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Yeah, I’m with you there. A 340i wagon would hit a lot of marks for a lot of people who are currently painfully underserved by the market. Given BMW’s relative flexibility with market dynamics otherwise, it’s an odd choice to not offer them at all . I would think they would at least allow factory orders, but nope. VERBOTEN.

I really don’t get it sometimes. Some of the things that they do just confuse me. But hey, it’s the same company that thinks that a coupe has four doors. >:-|

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 18:27

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It used to be, back 5+ years ago, that if you wanted it to be fun, it had to be the BMW. But hell, even Chris Harris has said that the C63 is a hoot to drive.

It’s harder to be an irrational BMW fanboy these days. :-P

Bunty Brown > Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark 09/14/2015 at 20:28

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It really is. I’ve lately found myself configuring S7’s and E63 wagons in the bathroom with the door locked.

DON’T TELL ANYONE >:-O

Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark > Bunty Brown 09/14/2015 at 22:08

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TBH, the Audis don’t do it for me still, but oh man is the E63 wagon nice. So, so nice.