Top Ten Vehicles Of Homer Simpson

"SteveLehto" (stevelehto) 09/09/2015 at 12:35 • Filed to: None

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Last night as I was injesting some Merciless Insanity Peppers of Quetzalacatenango, I realized The Simpsons has been dissected ad nauseum . Yet no one has yet ranked the top ten vehicles of Homer. Since I am a fan and have access to the internet, here you go.

10. Homer’s motorcycle. Homer took it everywhere - even to church - and then joined The Hell’s Satans where he dueled in the Circle of Death. Which Marge had just swept. Simply using the bike as a weapon shows the genius of Homer.

9. Hitler’s car. Yes, this is a close call because Bart drove it, not Homer. But Hitler’s body might still be in the trunk! Nelson, of course, punches Bart for wrecking Hitler’s car. After all, what did he ever do to you?

8. The Bentley Homer test drove. Pretending to be “Count” Homer, he takes a Bentley for a test drive to score some free tickets to a spa. He asks the salesman what advantages the car has over - “say, a train, which I could also afford?” The Bentley, of course, had a heated gas pedal and something - the seat? - which massaged the driver’s buttocks. Homer chose to not buy the car, presumably because it did not meet his needs.

7. The Electaurus. Homer is always doing things to get free stuff so he takes a test drive in an electric car to score some movie tickets. During the drive, he takes the car underwater because - as we all know - electric cars can do that. And the Electaurus does it it pretty well, although it does seem to electrocute many of the fish nearby. Homer drops the car back off and it is clearly in distress. Perhaps Springfield is not yet ready for electric cars.

6. Homer’s RV. Homer has had more than one RV but the first one was the best. While he wanted The Ultimate Behemoth, he could not afford it because of his bad credit and his permanent record. You may recall that The Ultimate Behemoth not only had a satellite dish - it had its own satellite. The one he bought was at the other end of the spectrum and it lasted only one episode. Frankly, we should be surprised it made it off the lot of Bob’s RV Round-Up.

5. Ned’s Airbag-less car. Homer drives Ned’s car - with a piece of Ned’s roof on the front as a sort of snowplow - during a winter Class-3 Killstorm. Ned informs Homer that the car has no airbags. Why? Because the church “opposes them for some reason.” Ned is not happy about this fact but has learned to live with it. Until Homer crashes the car, somehow saving the day. Well, Homer and a hamster named Nibbles.

4. L’il Bandit is the convertible Pontiac Firebird of Snake’s. Homer manages to gain title to the car at a police auction and spends some time ripping around in the car as if a teenager. When Snake hears that L’il Bandit needs him (Homer is not running premium), Snake escapes from jail with the sole intent of regaining his car. Which he does in a spectacular crash near the end of the episode - not far from where they found the “torso heap”!

3. Homer’s daily driver. The pink sedan is ubiquitous in the show but wrapped in mysterious riddles. Some think it is supposed to be a 1964 Plymouth Valiant but at one point a mechanic tells him that the car was built in Croatia from Soviet army tank parts. In another episode he tells some local-folk that the car was built in Guatemala. We may never find out which of these assertions is true but we do know the car has survived all manner of indignity including being hit by a sturgeon from outer space. Still, it appears anew each episode, ready for adventure.

2. The Canyonero. The SUV was driven by Marge and, according to the literature, seated 35. But the vehicle’s highlights were immortalized in song. And, oh, what highlights:

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride! Canyonero! Canyonero! Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero! Canyonero! She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She’s a squirrel-squashin’, deer-smackin’ drivin’ machine, Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero! Whoa, Canyonero! Whoooooaaaa!

1. The Homer. The car that Homer designed was featured in 1991 and set the bar rather high for bad cars. Two bubble domes, restraints and muzzles would keep the kids under control so the adults could drive in peace. So why didn’t it sell? It was pricey and loud and all three of its horns played La Cucaracha . The shag carpeting and tailfins also did not seem to appeal to the car buyers of Springfield. But still, it was named after our car-loving hero: Homer J. Simpson.

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Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise > SteveLehto 09/09/2015 at 12:38

12

No honourable mention to his Kumatsu Motors Plow? Sure, it couldn’t keep up with the Plow King, but it did get him the key to the city.

SteveLehto > Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise 09/09/2015 at 12:39

0

It was a close call. There are several that did not make the list.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > SteveLehto 09/09/2015 at 12:43

94

You forgot my favorite one.

SteveLehto > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 09/09/2015 at 12:44

3

That was a close call. I had it on the list but it got bumped by Hitler’s car (which, as I note, was borderline).

HammerheadFistpunch > SteveLehto 09/09/2015 at 13:00

49

Don’t forget the trim level on the canyonero, its an F- series.

F for “Female”

random-person > SteveLehto 09/09/2015 at 13:13

38

Every time my wife and I get into a car with dual air controls, I always ask her, “Want to watch the heater fight the air conditioner?”. It’s never as interesting as it was in the show :(

Ike > SteveLehto 09/09/2015 at 14:04

13

Steve, you are my new favorite person ever because of this list. I may have had the Simpson sing cd back in the day... And listened more then any sane person should to the canyonero

Jonee > SteveLehto 09/09/2015 at 14:12

125

I think honorable mention should go to whatever Crazy Vaclav was trying to sell him.

E39FTW > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 14:46

28

I have been trying to get rack and peanut steering in my cars for years now. No one seems to offer it.

StanTheDryBear > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 15:29

33

PUT IT IN “H”!

Roundbadge > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 15:55

8

I was looking for the tiny bicycle from Clown College...

I did enjoy this list, though.

William Byrd > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 16:16

4

Tough call, but I respect that. You should follow up with the “near misses” to the list.

StationeryBikes > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 16:54

32

“She’ll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene”

fatpretzel > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 20:26

5

Is that a Nick Offerman sighting?

General Purpose > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 09/14/2015 at 22:04

9

Call Mr. Plow,
That’s my name.
That name again
Is Mr. Plow!

Mr. Malaise > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:05

4

Don’t forget the Cadillac Ambulance!

Treemendous > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:06

0

Where in hell is Mr Plow??

j250ex > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:07

16

Homers first car should be an honorable mention. 1970 something dodge challenger with spoiler

mrbwa1 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:09

2

I think you missiles one of the best Simpsons vehicles ever...

InvalidnostCCCP > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:10

0

I enjoyed reading this over my klav khalash and crab juice.

My Kids Have Four...Wheels (And Paws) > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:11

6

Seats with butt massagers. Available at your nearest Ford dealer in the Taurus.

Pavlovs_Cat > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 22:15

5

I loved that thing. Just listeninig to the sales pitch is aways entertaining.

The Perp > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:17

0

It is even equipped with “rack and peanut steering”! Man, what a great episode!

BirdLaw900 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:18

21

She takes premium dude! Premiummmmm!

Love how you squeezed in a little tidbit of trivia with each selection, so well done!

Vincent Davidson > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 22:22

30

Put it in H!

It is a good day when I can use this twice. Lulz

Ben Crowe > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:23

6

No Mr. Plow?

That episode had an Auto Show too...

SteveLehto > Ben Crowe 09/14/2015 at 22:24

1

A close #11.

Dick Nickels > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:26

5

*ingesting, unless you meant that as a pun

Vincent Davidson > j250ex 09/14/2015 at 22:26

3

That looks likea 72ish Charger (Superbee?)

Chariotoflove > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:27

1

Thanks for the ride down Memory Lane, Steve!

smalleyxb122 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:31

7

Where does his “pimped out” ice cream truck fall in your list?

HumaRob > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:31

16

speed holes?

Also_Ran > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:31

17

I like with all these, plus the others the commenters have mention. I’d also like to add the Space Shuttle which Homer travelled in when he... oh dear.

Careful, they’re ruffled.

Vincent Davidson > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:33

22

Honorable mention - Do you come with the car?

interrogator-chaplain > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 22:35

2

What country was that built in again?

interrogator-chaplain > E39FTW 09/14/2015 at 22:35

1

The guys at the Canyonero dealership can set you up, they also put in complimentary ‘speed holes’.

SteveLehto > smalleyxb122 09/14/2015 at 22:36

0

There were so many . . .

Yamidan > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:41

27

No mention of the other car Homer built? It’s even got plates!!

Yamidan > Yamidan 09/14/2015 at 22:43

5

Or even the other totally Jalop build, Lil Lightnin’

Rocko > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:43

1

There was an x mas episode were the Simpsons bought a car which Homer crashed into a lake. Lasted all but 5 min.

Interesting Simpsons fact, for the first couple of seasons, Detroit was the only real city they visited.

TheJuiceISLoose > Vincent Davidson 09/14/2015 at 22:47

5

Oh, you!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > random-person 09/14/2015 at 22:47

3

SteveLehto > Rocko 09/14/2015 at 22:49

0

I seem to recall the car burst into flames before sinking.

Mo > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 22:51

0

Put it in h!

ChrisBlackstone > General Purpose 09/14/2015 at 22:52

1

It should have
Made the list
Again it should
Have made the list.

DickWypyakokov > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:52

6

I’ve noticed a few instances of this reply from you. Perhaps in the near future this could evolve into “All of Homer Simpson’s vehicles, ranked.”

And even further.... “Every vehicle in the history of the Simpsons, and how they influenced the global economy.”

Because I don’t feel Jalops have reached the ad nauseum level of Simpsonicity.

Yet.

OttoMaddox > Vincent Davidson 09/14/2015 at 22:54

2

Actually it’s a 1970 Plymouth GTX. The quarter panel scoop gives it away. The wide stripe coming out of it differentiates it from the Road Runner.

Lorem Ipsum > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 22:56

31

roofline:

tail-lights/fins

front end

or alt. front end:

 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:00

14

This is my all-time favourite scene in The Simpsons.

HEADLAU5 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:04

6

NO MR.PLOW TRUCK!?!? BOOOO THIS MAN...BOO HIM!!!

heelcameltoe > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:06

2

No love for Mr. Plow or the duff blimp?

SteveLehto > HEADLAU5 09/14/2015 at 23:06

0

He WAS wearing the Mr Plow coat during the Class 3 Killstorm, if that helps any.

SteveLehto > heelcameltoe 09/14/2015 at 23:07

0

Did Homer ever pilit the blimp?

Captain_Spadaro > Jonee 09/14/2015 at 23:07

0

Seconded.

HEADLAU5 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:07

18

How can a car that was in a 60 second bit that he never drove beat out the focus of one of the most famous episodes?

SteveLehto > HEADLAU5 09/14/2015 at 23:09

4

Are you belittling Hitler’s car? His body might even still be in the trunk! (I’m a busy man . . .)

HEADLAU5 > Also_Ran 09/14/2015 at 23:10

0

Oh man good call.

ranwhenparked > interrogator-chaplain 09/14/2015 at 23:17

0

It uh, no longer exists.

I always took that to mean, basically, the Soviet Union, East Germany, or Czechoslovakia.

Lately > interrogator-chaplain 09/14/2015 at 23:18

0

It no longer exists.

T-800 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:18

1

scotty1186 > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:19

102

List is null and void without Mr. Plow.

ranwhenparked > Lorem Ipsum 09/14/2015 at 23:22

9

I figure Homer’s car was supposed to be a generic American sedan from the ‘70s. At the time the show started in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s, that would have made it a bottom of the barrel used car and emphasized the family’s persistent money troubles. It looks just familiar enough for people to kind of recognize what the animators were going for, and just different enough that you can’t pin down any one real-world make or model.

The taillights also have some resemblance to a ‘76 Olds 98.

WhiskeyGolf > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:26

1

Don’t ever change, Steve!

ORANGE! > Yamidan 09/14/2015 at 23:29

7

Homer, I don’t want you driving around in something you made yourself!

You can stand there and find fault Marge, or you can knit me some seatbelts!

The Kinkslayer > DickWypyakokov 09/14/2015 at 23:40

0

All of Homer Simpson’s vehicles (from the first 10 seasons), ranked

ramajastang > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:40

7

No love for the lamborghotti fasterosa?

The Kinkslayer > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:42

1

Only in his dreams :(

The Kinkslayer > smalleyxb122 09/14/2015 at 23:55

3

His first ice cream truck was better

AssFault > SteveLehto 09/14/2015 at 23:58

6

Peter always seemed to have better cars than Homer.

AssFault > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 09/15/2015 at 00:02

3

Stupid Lehto.

Lorem Ipsum > ranwhenparked 09/15/2015 at 00:03

3

only reason I included the 240 front end is because Matt groening is from near springfield, OR and the number of old volvos there is kinda crazy

The Kinkslayer > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 00:11

0

Let’s not forget what Bart did to hitler

ranwhenparked > Lorem Ipsum 09/15/2015 at 00:12

3

It does look very close. I’m surprised, that with all the Simpsons fans out there, that nobody has tried to build a replica car yet. Maybe take a late ‘70s Deville body, remove the chrome, get rid of the vinyl roof, smooth out the creases, french in Caprice door handles, and somehow fabricate an early 240 front clip to fit.

You’d also have to do a new, plain, painted metal dash and make a custom “Trackstar” faceplate for a vintage AM/FM 8-track player.

Admiral Asskicker > AssFault 09/15/2015 at 00:13

28

Frank Grimes > Jonee 09/15/2015 at 00:13

1

put it in H you idiot.

SX-70 > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 00:14

0

Whenever someone finds out I’m “into cars”, and they inevitably ask me what my favorite car is, I tell them it’s a Lamborgatti Fastarossa. Inevitably I get nods of approval, at least till someone looks it up online.

The Kinkslayer > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 00:16

0

In my opinion Homer’s all-terrain convertible is within the top 12.

FeeJ > TheJuiceISLoose 09/15/2015 at 00:27

1

Tee hee

SilverPantherIsSilver > Vincent Davidson 09/15/2015 at 00:28

5

“Oh you!” (giggle)

SilverPantherIsSilver > Dick Nickels 09/15/2015 at 00:32

0

I was gonna write “Surely you jest”

SilverPantherIsSilver > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 00:36

0

XecRis > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 00:44

0

Technically... Did he pilot Hitler’s car?

ejs2000 >  09/15/2015 at 00:45

1

Hilarious that it was only available dubbed.

Lorem Ipsum > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 00:50

3

with a dash of

Rootbeer Racinette > ramajastang 09/15/2015 at 01:14

1

Or the Bugatti Sexerosa?

heelcameltoe > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 01:16

0

Yes. In his dreams. Although he did have the ticket to ride (and I would argue implied in that invitation was a short piloting session like Barny had). Did he drive the Homer mobile he designed?

Crentist > StanTheDryBear 09/15/2015 at 01:27

0

Came here just for this.

tulleytwo > scotty1186 09/15/2015 at 01:48

10

Yep.

Fuel_of_Satan > ranwhenparked 09/15/2015 at 02:10

0

Movie/TV-car replica creators tend to be more movie fans than car fans. I wouldn’t be too surprised if someone tried to make one from a Dodge Caravan. “It’s pink, look! Just like the Simpsons car!”

LankySean > Jonee 09/15/2015 at 02:12

0

That was a AC Invacar

Darigaaz > AssFault 09/15/2015 at 02:13

0

Pictured: Not a car

Wagons-Midwest > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 02:59

0

No Cadillac CTS?

Jonee > LankySean 09/15/2015 at 03:00

0

Yeah, it was definitely Invacar inspired. I’ve actually driven an Invacar. Pretty weird. They all had custom controls. I wonder if they made up a name for this version. Whatever “mosquito” is in Russian, I guess, based on the hood ornament.

Mr.Zdrówko > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 03:49

0

Homer’s daily commuter always reminded me one of these:

or

Or mix of other cars that were often crashed in movies.

teamwhd > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 04:10

0

and what about Lamborgoti Festarossa ?

tf3cac > Jonee 09/15/2015 at 04:43

7

Homer: “What country is this car from?”

Crazy Vaclav: “It...no longer exists.”

tf3cac > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 04:46

1

Don’t forget about Lil’ Lightnin’!

final8 > scotty1186 09/15/2015 at 05:06

1

this

mundotaku > Jonee 09/15/2015 at 05:10

1

I need a soviet made fly hood ornament.

radderar > SteveLehto 09/15/2015 at 05:38

0

“It takes premium, dude!”