I don't often do this but.

"Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell." (oppisitelock)
07/24/2015 at 18:22 • Filed to: None

Just wanted to vent a little. Badass Renault 5 turbo for your time.

So my relationship of 6 and a half years is falling apart. We met at 14/15 and have been together since. In the last couple years things got worse and worse to the point where I didn’t like spending time with her. At times she could be abusive and generally unpleasant but I let it slide, believing it was all my fault. I wasn’t perfect for sure and could’ve been better, but she certainly wasn’t good for me.

I said I need time alone to think this weekend about it, but honestly I don’t think I do. I have great friends and family that I’d much rather spend time with than someone who acted this way.

Thanks for letting me type this out oppo, it feels better to write it down sometimes.

DISCUSSION (36)

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:29

It does. Maybe she had some trouble with her life or something..

Where’s your panda btw? Did it run away?

itschrome > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:32

there’s no excuse for some one treating some one less than they deserve. If you don’t feel they appreciate and treat you the way you deserve, you owe it to your self to do whats right. You’re still young and have been with one person for so long through the most formative years of your life. Maybe it’s time to do just you for a while and find the person who deserves you and like wise.

You own it to your self to be happy in this life you’ve been given.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:32

I’m sorry to hear that, but at least you have some good people in your life.

Klaus Schmoll > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
07/24/2015 at 18:32

It ate turbos like breakfast cereal so he got rid of it and bought a Twingo.

CounterTorqueSteer > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:33

We're here for you buddy. Relationships are anything but easy. Do what feels right after having thought about it.

Klaus Schmoll > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:36

When you meet this young it’s always difficult when you grow up and develop different interests. It’s a question of cutting your losses or keeping her no matter what because she is the one. You decide.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
07/24/2015 at 18:37

She certainly had some personal demons. I suggested and offered to help her get professional advice, but it never happened.

The Panda started having some bad mechanical issues so I traded it in against a 2010 Renault Twingo.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Klaus Schmoll
07/24/2015 at 18:43

Yeah I agree that you can end up growing apart. Maybe that’s what happened. I thought she was the one some time ago, but I just can’t live this way anymore.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > CounterTorqueSteer
07/24/2015 at 18:43

Thanks man I appreciate it.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > CaptDale - is secretly British
07/24/2015 at 18:44

Yeah I’m lucky in that respect, some don’t always have someone to turn to which makes situations like this worse.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > itschrome
07/24/2015 at 18:45

Yeah very true. I think I will just keep to myself for a little while other than friends/ family, work out what I want.

Thanks.

Brian, The Life of > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:46

For what it’s worth (and there are exceptions), couples that start that young and stay together into their 20s often regret that they have spent all of their messing about years with the same person.

Maybe this is for the best. Also, when one door closes, etc ...

Svend > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:46

Some relationships can become too ‘samey’ and then combustible. If the relationship is worth saving the break will give both of you time to figure out what it is you had and what it is your both missing. If however being apart turns out to be better than when together then it's time to consider where the relationship is going and if it is going. Keep your chin up fella, it'll all come out in the wash.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:46

Yeah it really does

ttyymmnn > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:46

There’s a whole lot of growing and changing between 15 and 21. I’m sure both of you have become much different people in those intervening years. In fact, six years is a long time between any age, and it’s probably a similar length of time between many marriages and divorces (ever heard of the seven-year itch?). It sounds to me like you both need a little time apart to finish figuring out who you are and who you want to be with. There’s a corny old adage that really has a lot of truth to it: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be.” Take a break, take a breath, and see what happens. Best wishes to you both.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:47

That part is kinda tricky. I have an ex who’s acting similar a few years ago. Apparently her parents are going to divorce, and that troubles her a lot. Maybe it’s similar to what happened with yours.

Do you like the twingo?

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 18:47

Relationships aren’t a job. If you’re working your ass of to keep it from falling apartapart, maybe it’s time to let go. As Clive Owen said, “hold on tightly, let go lightly.”

But don’t take my advice. FWIW I’ve been single for 3 years, and before that I never had a very bad relationship.

Autofixation > Brian, The Life of
07/24/2015 at 18:54

I couldn’t agree more. I was in a relationship from the age of 21-26. I look back onto it and think, “why the hell was I so stupid and why did I stay in a ridiculous relationship for so long?” I have to say I am a better person for having been through that I am now calling, “relationship boot camp,” but man were those I've years a waste...

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed
07/24/2015 at 18:56

Yeah it really feels like constant effort at this point, which really gets tiring.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Brian, The Life of
07/24/2015 at 18:56

I don’t regret the good years we had, but the last year or so I missed out on a lot due to this relationship falling apart.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Svend
07/24/2015 at 18:58

Yeah I’m not looking to run off and hook up with someone else straight away (not that I could anyway) so if things resolve while we’re apart we can give it another go. That said I already feel better and we’ve only been apart a couple days.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
07/24/2015 at 18:59

Yeah I don’t necessarily blame her for the problems, but she could’ve done more to resolve them.

Yeah I love it, fun little car.

ttyymmnn > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed
07/24/2015 at 18:59

I would disagree with this just a little bit. I’ve been married for 25 years, and while it’s not a job per se, you do need to work to make sure that each partner is getting what they need from the relationship. Especially after 25 years, it’s very easy to fall into doing just what you want, with no concerns for your partner. Of course, if you truly love somebody, doing the work is part of the pleasure of the relationship. But it’s still work. You can’t take anything for granted, especially after a long period of time.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > ttyymmnn
07/24/2015 at 19:00

Yeah I’m going to give it some time and see how I feel. Like I said to others I’m not about to run off and hook up with someone, I just want some space for a while. Maybe it’ll work again one day.

Thanks I appreciate it.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 19:02

Yeah. I guess at this stage you better wait until things pan out a bit.

ttyymmnn > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 19:02

No problem. It sounds like you’ve got a good handle on this, and things will work out for the best, one way or the other. Good luck!

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > ttyymmnn
07/24/2015 at 19:05

Yeah I know I need to at least work out what’s best for us both. Thanks.

Svend > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 19:05

Six years is a long time and something must of been there for it to last so long. Hopefully it'll come right and she'll see that what she had with you is worth working on to restore.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Svend
07/24/2015 at 19:06

It was great for a while but that said the decline has been long too. She said she’ll do anything to fix it, but it’s hard to believe since she’s said this so many times before...

Xyl0c41n3 > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 19:09

You guys met in your mid-teens and are now in your early 20s. Even if you guys had never had a fight or argument in all that time, you both would still be vastly different people now than you were then. Back then you were kids.

You’re still pretty young now, and at the age where a person really starts to cement their own personal credo while also starts getting out into the world more independently than they ever have before. There’s no shame in having grown as a person. In the best relationships, both people grow and evolve independently, but also together as a unit... or with a certain amount of symmetry. That you guys have started heading down a different path from each other doesn’t mean your relationship was a bad one (though, the bad parts you mention certainly don’t sound fun), it just means that maybe the time has come for it to be over. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s just a change. Some people are only in our lives for a chapter, some for just a page. Sounds like you guys filled out several chapters of each others’ lives. There’s nothing wrong with starting a new one — together, or independently. Best of luck regardless of what you guys choose to do.

Svend > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 19:15

Ye', at some point you need to draw a line and get on with life. But I'll keep my fingers crossed all the same.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Svend
07/24/2015 at 19:28

Thanks man.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > ttyymmnn
07/24/2015 at 19:29

Oh I'm in full agreement that relationships need work, just this particular situation has made the work almost painful.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Xyl0c41n3
07/24/2015 at 19:36

Well said. I feel like you used to have a lot in common and now... Not so much. I could work through that but she could be physically abusive at times which is what really pushed me to this point.

Xyl0c41n3 > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
07/24/2015 at 20:21

Physical abuse is not acceptable at all. Get out, and don’t feel bad for doing so. I wish you well. Don’t worry, things will work out and you’ll be ok.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Xyl0c41n3
07/24/2015 at 20:26

Thanks, I think it’s time I was out of relationships for a while.