Hey, Mr. Ballaban! I found the New Beetle you were looking for.

"505 - morphine not found" (morphine500)
07/03/2015 at 08:30 • Filed to: Citroen, Citroën, C4, Cactus

You !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , how Volkswagen fails at making a car that’s the equivalent of the original Beetle, today. Well, good news, I think I found the vehicle fitting your description. However, there’s a catch: you can’t have it.

When I read in that article how Volkswagen being very good at designing appliances means they are really bad at making fun cars, I had to smile to myself, because I couldn’t agree more. This is exactly what my problem was with most of their offerings I drove over the years. However, right when your piece saw the light of day, I was driving something, that was also brand new, was powered by a frugal diesel engine, had a manual transmission, but, and this is important, even though completely modern, it had loads of faults and was quirky in a funny, but very usable way. Of course you all know by now that I am talking about the Citroën C4 Cactus.

I wanted to do an Enlish speaking video review for the longest time. And when I had the Cactus, every star that needed to align for this, aligned, and we made a film. So now allow me to explain, why I think the Cactus is a great bad car, on video, in person.

So there you have it. When you compare the Cactus to the similarly sized Jeep Renegade, it’ll be second best in most categories, range maybe the only exception. However, just as the original Beetle seemed an inferior car but still robbed millions of hearts, I can completely see someone valuing style and simplicity falling for the Cactus over its rivals, and never looking back. Let’s hope there are enough people like that to make this a viable product, because the world needs quirky and successful Citroëns.

DISCUSSION (23)

duurtlang > 505 - morphine not found
07/03/2015 at 08:52

Added bonus of the Cactus is that it’s so damn cheap. I don’t know about other markets, but it’s cheaper than a Juke, 2008 and Captur and far cheaper than a Renegade and Mokka (Encore) here.

It also weighs very little. An empty Cactus with the base engine weighs less than a metric tonne. This is great for fuel economy and driving dynamics.

I agree with the ‘it’s not for me, but I’m glad it exists’ sentiment. I wouldn’t buy anything in this segment, but if I would, it would be the Cactus. Without thinking twice. I sadly can’t say the same for other Citroëns nowadays.

tapzz > 505 - morphine not found
07/03/2015 at 09:00

Good video, and completely agree with your assessment.

I guess the Citroën folk where aiming to emulate the 2CV than the beetle, though. In that sense, there might be an interesting parallel between the 2CV and the beetle back then and the Cactus and Up! now. Similar market position, but quite divergent in the room/practicality balance...

505 - morphine not found > tapzz
07/03/2015 at 09:06

I know people automatically talk 2CV when it comes to small(er) cheap(er) while still useful Citroëns, but I honestly think this is much closer to the ethos of the original Beetle than to the ethos of the 2CV. Or maybe I just like the Bug more than the Duck.

tapzz > 505 - morphine not found
07/03/2015 at 09:15

I know what you mean, but where a Beetle had its own strict logic in everything it did, and was conceived as an Autobahn cruiser, the 2CV, like the Cactus, was a more whimsical machine designed to function on bad roads or in a field. It may be because of the door count, but a 2CV and a Cactus also seem more family oriented than the Bug or an Up!

505 - morphine not found > tapzz
07/03/2015 at 09:24

Yes, I gave a thought to all that. However, the 2CV was targeted at the rural buyer, and was constructed to use and have the bare minimum in every sense. The Beetle was more oriented at urban people, who take good care to be frugal in everything they do, but still want good, quality elements, and end product. And the Cactus is definitely the latter.

You know what’s closer to the ethos of the 2CV, described as i just did? The Dacia Duster. And voilá, the Duster is extremely popular in rural France....

duurtlang > 505 - morphine not found
07/03/2015 at 09:39

I can’t comment on the rural success of the 2CV, but it was definetly a huge, huge hit in urban environments outside of France as well. I know my mom wore through a few used ones in the 1970s, and she’s neither rural nor French.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > 505 - morphine not found
07/03/2015 at 09:48

I also completely agree with your assessment - at first I wasn’t a fan of the styling, but it’s really grown on me. I love the whole “practical utility but still light and simple” idea; I don’t need “frills” on my cars - my current daily driver is a 2009 Hyundai Accent 2-door hatchback with no power anything, no A/C, and a standard transmission. I do miss the power windows and, occasionally, cruise control, but the Accent does a fine job of everything I need from it.

Some of the color combinations look great (LOVE that black/gray with red highlights scheme you had on the one in your video!) but even the shortcomings wouldn’t bother me too much - I would miss not having a tachometer as I am a staunch standard transmission owner, but a more “rubbery” transmission shift feel wouldn’t bother me. I love fast cars as much as anybody, but I intend on having one daily driver and a “weekend” car or two (most likely a classic), so a snickety shifter feels great, but not an issue for me in everyday driving as long as the shifter is easy enough to find a gear. The pop-out rear windows don’t bother me at all, there is rarely anybody else in my car with me, so nobody in the back to need the window to wind down more.

Sadly, Citroën doesn’t sell cars here in Canada anymore (not since the ‘70’s), but if I had the money and the Cactus was on sale here, it would DEFINITELY be near the top of my list!

duurtlang > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
07/03/2015 at 10:13

They really are shockingly affordable. If you deduct the sales tax and translate it to US dollars the German market base Cactus costs $13.0k USD ($16.3k CAD).

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > duurtlang
07/03/2015 at 10:16

Yup....you have no idea how many base “cheap but actually cheerful” euro cars I wish were sold here - the Cactus being one. I would love to see the FIAT Panda here as well, as I think it would sell much better than the 500L does. The new-gen Renault Twingo would also be pretty cool!

tapzz > 505 - morphine not found
07/03/2015 at 10:23

On a slight tangent, but the original Dacia Logan MCV seemed to have nailed the old Renault 4 fan base...

505 - morphine not found > duurtlang
07/03/2015 at 10:37

I would say that while the Beetle kept evolving, and remained a proper car choice right into the ‘70s, the 2CV didn’t change that much, and therefore was quicker to turn from “car” to “icon” - despite both being designed around the same time. Although, it has to be said, I wasn’t buying cars in the ‘60s and ‘70s, to form a completely informed opinion, so there’s that, non the less, this is my take on matters. As I said, I somehow don’t really like the 2CV....

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > 505 - morphine not found
07/06/2015 at 13:55

Hey, Mr. Ballaban, tally up my Beetle

LongbowMkII > 505 - morphine not found
07/06/2015 at 14:09

I liked the video. It was professional. Although at 1:30 the accent was a bit tough to understand. Even so, good stuff!

Was this a press car or rental? that back seat looked dirty/scratched up.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > 505 - morphine not found
07/06/2015 at 14:17

I fell in love with these cars during my time in Europe. The design is so wonderfully clean, but quirky at the same time. Of all the cars I saw, I wanted a Cactus the most. I wish it was sold in the US or that 25 year import laws weren’t a thing.

Leon711 > duurtlang
07/06/2015 at 14:59

I had a poke around in one at goodwood and was impressed, I would buy one, if I could have a sporty car for the weekend.

505 - morphine not found > LongbowMkII
07/06/2015 at 16:55

Thanks, tried to get the best out of a limited opportunity - as evident in the film we hadn’t even time to wash the car before shooting.

The car is a press car, and one that didn’t do much time either, I was probably the 2nd or 3rd guy in it. However, I also put my kids in it before the filming, and those small-time crooks always wreak havoc on the back bench area :-/

505 - morphine not found > Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch
07/06/2015 at 16:57

I can completely see why. And they are usable too, at least if your everyday routine involves few passengers but lots of city driving.

LongbowMkII > 505 - morphine not found
07/06/2015 at 16:57

There may be realted reasons I don’t have any pictures of the Murano....

m2m, apex detective > 505 - morphine not found
08/08/2015 at 07:39

One of the key strengths might just be that it really looks like an oddball French car. The Captur just looks like a small CUV, and the Juke ... well, the Juke really only looks like a Juke; probably a good thing.

I saw a corso of these in Amsterdam last year and they instantly caught my eye, despite rocking mostly beige/brown colours. A press drive of sorts, I assume.

You did pretty well with the video, I think. I’d watch more if you do them. ;)

Can you go into some detail about the instrument cluster and it’s 80’s level of information? I’d guess that having minimal yet sufficient info doesn’t automatically make it a bad thing, as media info etc. have their place on the second display anyway.

Finally, I’d love to see a stripped-down version of this for spirited hooning.

m2m, apex detective > 505 - morphine not found
08/08/2015 at 07:40

Oh! You missed out on delivering a “No, Mr Ballaban - I expect you to buy” line!

505 - morphine not found > m2m, apex detective
08/08/2015 at 09:50

Yes, i believe there was a media event for this in amsterdam you kust have caught that.

Instrument cluster gives you speed, odo, fuel level, a shift light and the cruise control. As well as warning lights of course. That’s it, there isn’t even a trip meter, let alone tach, or any sort of temp readout. Although there is a trip computer in the center screen, it’s still strange to me to get such a sparse instrumentation, especially as i love gauges, lots of gauges.

Michael Ballaban > 505 - morphine not found
08/24/2015 at 23:30

This, THIS, is beautiful.

505 - morphine not found > Michael Ballaban
08/25/2015 at 11:19

Glad you like it :-)