The Heartbeat of America

"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii) 06/22/2015 at 15:17 • Filed to: None

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#chevygoesemoji #chevytime #cruzenobooze #allthekewlkidsstillemojiright #clearlynottheideaofa47oldmarketingexecappealingtomillenials #canyounotbeembarassingforoncechevrolet

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Sure, try to figure out this ‘puzzle’

and 100 more > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:22

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I’ll save y’all the rant and just leave you with this, my opinion on emoji:

“DAMN KIDS, GET OFF MY LAWN!”

For fuck’s sake...

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:29

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Not a clue what it says but I can now add Chevrolet on Snapchat!

AM > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:31

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How in the fuck are people supposed to comprehend this? I don't speak Emoji.

HammerheadFistpunch > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:33

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K, let me try

Sunset drive with a loud exhaust? Stop. Grammar Hammer time. Try other cities! Around 11 be bipolar about a new blue car full of eggs and heart. Turn your phone sidways or I’ll knock you down a hill and throw gas on all your favorite sports gear. Open face sandwiches, cosplay and clog dancing are all texts your friends are concerned about. Tell no one about your billy dee williams perfume in your car, say “New electrics cars are greater than life on earth” instead.

Thats the first paragraph...ill need a minute for the rest.

Because Racecar > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:37

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Here goes nothing: The chevy cruze plays music, you must use your hand to drive. it drives only during dawn or midnight. it has a clock, it makes you laugh or cry. you can buy it new with chicken love. you can shuffle your phone around in it. you can bowl at an angle and gas up your balls or bike. we approve of this new bread dress, it even comes with heels, lipstick, and A talking phone. men or women will enjoy the complimentary tie and mustache (which also talks). it comes with new lightbulbs to increase pollution on the planet earth. angle your muscles and balls, because you’ll get A trophy you’ll love. make sure to take extra phones to the bar, or to college because you’ll get A 100%. car love phone HAHAHAHA. Poke the computer for sound to come out. the seat fits A man, A dancer, two strippers and your mother. Gas in 2015 will go up 35 cents, so go over the magical time bridge to 2016, give a thumbs up and clap loud! Wait until July 15th and sell those stocks in GM. Warning! Do not think about bags when using the Chevy Cruze. Bidirectional stars included. You Cruze will soon turn into a flower, which in turn will lower the sea levels. The Chevy Cruze only works in sunny valleys, starry nights, ocean, mountains, rainbows, cities about to be hit by the sun, cities at dusk, cities at night, and bridges at night! The Chevy Cruze has a phone which uses roller coaster gas, you’ll love it after the 100th check! Find 1911 pins in the city, by the red car with music, STOP. Chevy decreases the sea level. Chevy means you lovingly pray to the gas gods. While on the toilet, use your desktop computer or phone to visit www.chevrolet.com .

LongbowMkII > HammerheadFistpunch 06/22/2015 at 15:38

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#COTD

LongbowMkII > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 06/22/2015 at 15:39

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I’ve always wanted to send pictures of my junk to corporations. They’re people too.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:41

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Haha. Send it to Ford ;)

Ash78, voting early and often > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 15:49

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Cuauhtemoc demands vengeance, send us blood of firstborn or at least build another plant in Mexico. Kgraciasbye!

Branden J -Reading the Manual > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 16:01

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I agree.

Fookin' Prawns > LongbowMkII 06/22/2015 at 16:49

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I'm a youth and what the hell is going on here

Dusty Ventures > HammerheadFistpunch 06/22/2015 at 17:01

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#COTY