Turn... turn....Turn! TURN!!!

"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck) 06/03/2015 at 07:52 • Filed to: None

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I had the good fortune to play parking lot attendant for one of our local festivals a few weeks ago. Seemed simple enough. Keep track of the number of cars leaving, only let in the same number of cars. Here’s what I learned.

People don’t understand hand signals.

Even when I was clearly waving them on (both hands pointing for them to continue driving), a few just decided to come on into the lot.

Although two hands up usually means STOP, to some people it meant keep rolling forward until your bumper rests against the attendant’s legs.

People don’t know how to use their turn signals.

It was rare for someone to signal their intention to turn into the lot. Most of the time it was a game of standing in the way of the lot entrance until they either stopped (usually in the street) or turned on their signal. If they did the former, I would approach their window and give them appropriate instructions. If they did the latter, I would attempt to signal to either move on or to enter the lot (see point 1).

People don’t know how to roll down their windows.

Once they figured out I wanted to talk to them, half of them had to LOOK at the controls to figure out how to roll down the window. The funniest ones were the ones that had to look for the window crank (remember those?).

People can’t comprehend why their usually open lot would become a controlled-access lot.

You know, there is a festival going on. The one that you have been hearing about for weeks? Yeah, it’s today. No, you can’t park here. There aren’t any empty spaces. It doesn’t matter that you are volunteering. There are no empty spaces. No, you can’t just run in and grab something “real quick”. THERE ISN’T A PLACE TO PARK YOUR CAR!

People have no idea how to turn.

I was standing on what would be the yellow line between the two lanes of the parking lot entrance. I had to signal to/move out of the way of nearly every driver that pulled into the lot to keep from getting run over. It seems that very few drivers knew that their steering wheel turned more than 90° in either direction and it took vigorous signalling to get them to keep rotating the wheel so they wouldn’t run me down. WHY CAN”T YOU TURN!?! At least the ones I made fun of - remember, they had to roll their window down to talk to me - took it well.

Fortunately, my son was right there with me the whole time. He learned a lot about driving without getting behind the wheel.

thebigbossyboss > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 07:59

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Um. There is always somewhere to park. I realize you may not have been allowed to let them park there. But give me a full lot, and I’ll squeeze a few more cars in :D

What kind of festival was it?

TheRealBicycleBuck > thebigbossyboss 06/03/2015 at 08:25

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Every church in Louisiana holds at least one fair a year. They usually bring in an amusement company to provide rides, hold an auction/sale for crafts and donated goods, run a kitchen with jambalaya and gumbo, and have a church-staffed midway for the kids (so the kids can actually win something).

We had people parking all over the place, including the grass. This is the secondary lot on a normal day. The primary lot is south of the church. That’s where they set up the fair, so EVERYBODY tried to use the secondary lot. Overflow parking was a short walk away and they had a golf-cart shuttle so nobody had to walk if they were a little patient.

thebigbossyboss > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 08:35

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Man. I need to move to the south. A church picnic with gumbo? Count me in!!!

OPPOsaurus WRX > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 09:16

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i got pulled over and had to look at the controls to roll down the window, but in my defense I was drunk it was my first time trying to put the window down. (I had had 2 beers at the restaurant with dinner and was certainly not drunk, but it still made me nearly shit myself, pulled over for speeding)

TheRealBicycleBuck > thebigbossyboss 06/03/2015 at 09:26

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The number of festivals down here is staggering. If you are looking for something to do, there is always something within an hour’s drive. Take a look for yourself, about 78 in April alone....

TheRealBicycleBuck > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/03/2015 at 09:27

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I’m hoping that the car still had paper tags. :)

thebigbossyboss > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 09:49

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The south always seems so great. Crawfish festival...yes. Cajun Hot sauce festival....yes. I hope I get appointed to Canada’s consulate in New Orleans. No idea if there is even such a thing...but if not they should create it and appoint me.

TheRealBicycleBuck > thebigbossyboss 06/03/2015 at 09:58

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We had a fellow down here from Ontario for a demo a couple of weeks ago. We were outside most of the morning. Poor guy nearly melted despite the temperature being in the low 80s (farenheit). You can acclimatize, but it will take you some time.

I limit my exposure to New Orleans. Things tend to get out-of-hand down there.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 10:07

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I had only had it for 2 weeks. It was February so I had just never had a reason to open the window. The cop could smell the beer and asked me to step out. We had just left the restaurant and I had taken the last sip just before getting up from the table so there was probably less than 5 minutes from when I had the last sip to when I got pulled over. The cop was really good about the whole thing and after a little chat and counting and abc’s and let me off with a warning for everything. I really wasn;t doing anything dumb, I thought the speed zone had increased but it was ahead about 20’ from where we stopped.

TheRealBicycleBuck > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/03/2015 at 10:12

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It speaks to your age. My kids discovered and tested every button, knob, switch, and twirly thing in my car as soon as I brought it home. I learned what every button, knob, switch, and twirly thing did by trying to put everything back in order. :/

OPPOsaurus WRX > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 10:21

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haha, now that my kids are more mobile, I’ve had to reset everything in my car many times. I washed my car over the weekend and they had a blast sitting in ther playing with everything. They thought it was the funniest thing to have the hose sprayed at them on the window but not get hit. I had all the important stuff down like headlights and hvac. The window button is a lot further back on the arm rest than my last truck. the door locks are actually pretty close so when i reached down, i kept locking the doors instead of putting down the window.

thebigbossyboss > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 10:34

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I used to live in Ghana so I should do ok. I too am in Ontario, I am surprised he was suffering, it gets that hot here and real humid in summers.

TheRealBicycleBuck > thebigbossyboss 06/03/2015 at 10:40

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Perhaps you would! The area where we were is usually in the mid-90s with humidity in the 90+ percentile for most of the summer.

I find it all to be quite miserable. I can hack the heat, but I like the humidity to be much lower.

thebigbossyboss > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 10:47

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I better come visit. Hopefully in the next few years. I’d really like to go to Louisiana and Mississippi!! Crawfish! Cajun food! BB king’s hometown!! Yes, yes and yes.

TheRealBicycleBuck > thebigbossyboss 06/03/2015 at 10:52

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If you want the best crawfish, come in April. The season is late enough that the crawfish are getting big, but not so late that their shells become light plate armor and their meat becomes mealy. It’s also not so hot that all you want to do is stay inside.

thebigbossyboss > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/03/2015 at 10:56

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Perfect. That would actually be great. Here in April it’s usually month 6 of the snow and ice and by that time I have had well enough!!

Svend > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/08/2015 at 03:58

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Once you learn many people are idiots and that you can’t cure stupid. Life gets easier to deal with.

jvirgs drives a Subaru > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/12/2015 at 14:21

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I did parking for a County fireworks display one July 4th and my god people were effing morons. Never again....

TheRealBicycleBuck > jvirgs drives a Subaru 06/12/2015 at 14:24

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Yep. My experience too. But I WILL be back for more. I’d rather be in the parking lot than in the midway tent....