"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
05/30/2015 at 21:47 • Filed to: None
7
36|
"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
05/30/2015 at 21:47 • Filed to: None | 7
| 36 |
Unnecessarily purchasing massive SUVs has become an addiction with parents nowadays. Everybody needs an SUV for a multitude of irrational reasons. But do you really need one as much as you say you do?
Question 1: How many children do you have?
A. One
B. Two
C. Three
D. Four+
Question 2: Do you have a large dog? EG: German Shepherd.
A. Yes.
B. My Chihuahua “Fuckface” needs his own third row seat :) xoxo
C. No.
D. More than one.
Question 3: Do you have a boat/heavy weight trailer?
A. Yes.
B. No.
C. Does one of those little inflatable pool rafts count?
D. Sometimes.
Question 4: Does your vehicle routinely see dirt roads/snowy conditions.
A. No, what is snow? Do people actually take their cars off the road?
B. Snow for like one day every year, it’s just a dusting and my Suburban is 2wd anyways.
C. Neither.
D. Yes.
Question 5: Do you need extra utility for any other purpose?
A. Yaaaaas, we went to Ikea to buy a Dickenfacen bookshelf last year!!!!
B. No.
C. Yes.
D. Yes, we go camping a lot and need the extra space.
_______________________________________________________________
So do you need an SUV or not?
1. If you answered “A” or “B” to question 1 , you do not need a full sized SUV at all. You have absolutely no business with one.
2. If you answered “B” or “C” to question 2 you most certainly don’t need a full sized SUV, especially if you answered “A” or “B” on question 1.
3. If you answered “B” or “C” on question 3, you don’t necessarily need a full sized SUV.
4. If you answered “A,B or C” on question 4 you don’t really need a full sized SUV at all.
5. If you answered “A” or “B” on
question 5
you honestly have no business with a full sized SUV and you just bought it because your fat husband thinks it’ll look nicer than what Becky that neighbor bitch drives.
If you answered at least 3/5 of those categories with a valid answer, then there ya go. You could really use a full sized SUV. If not, then you really don’t need one. Maybe a midsized SUV, or a wagon.
_______________________________________________________________
So, how’d you do? Chances are that you don’t really need a full sized SUV and that’s perfectly fine. Everybody doesn’t need a full sized SUV for picking up your single child from soccer practice, driving your horrid little ankle biter to the vet and making constant runs to the yoga studio and Starbucks.
Logansteno: Bought a VW?
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 21:48 |
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Don't care, still want a Tahoe.
Viggen
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 21:50 |
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Own a Cherokee. I’m good anyway. But if I get stationed in Alaska, then built Suburban here I come.
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jkm7680
> Viggen
05/30/2015 at 21:51 |
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And that would be a completely valid reason for needing a Suburban!
DoYouEvenShift
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 21:58 |
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No children, 3 dogs, occasional beach trips, a trailer big enough to carry one car.
Baeromez
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 21:58 |
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Oh god no. I don’t even need a quiz to tell me that.
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jkm7680
> DoYouEvenShift
05/30/2015 at 21:59 |
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Then yes!
Makoyouidiot
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:01 |
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Two kids, two large dogs, go camping, pull the boat, visit parents down dirt road almost every day... yep, I need another Discovery.
SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:03 |
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Wagons PWN SUVs for everything but towing.
Chase
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:04 |
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Trucks. All the trucks.
2012 f250 (extended cab), 2011 f250 (regular cab), 2005 ranger xlt, 2002 ranger xlt, chevy 2500hd (extended cab).
dad’s, dad’s but sort of mine (winter plow truck), brother’s, mine, mom’s
Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:04 |
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I don’t need a full-size SUV.
I DO NEED this though
For the days when I can’t leave a parking lot because someone double-parked their cars around me.
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jkm7680
> Makoyouidiot
05/30/2015 at 22:04 |
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I sorta want a Discovery.
CRider
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:06 |
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I’m looking forward to next week’s quiz, “Do you need a Miata? Take this quiz to find out!”
415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:08 |
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I recently replaced my Accord with a 2006 2nd gen CRV, not a full size SUV so I don’t feel so bad. It did offer me some advantages, the MPGs are not far off, it has a great big hatch in the back to load things and the seats fold down, I have a dog and the rubber cargo mat is great, I like to see above things in traffic and in the city and the AWD might be good in the snow at Tahoe or the rain. It was a 94 Accord, if it had A/C I would probably keep it but my work trips to shows further south in San Jose traffic led to summer heat problems. I hate being stuck behind an SUV in traffic in the city and can’t see anything up ahead. At least now I have a chance to see through the windows of a Suburban.
OPPOsaurus WRX
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:09 |
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As a father of two 3 year olds I feel in the near future I’ll need seating for 6 (min). That would be my wife and I, the two girls and either two of their friends or another couple. (Yea other people will still go with us places). That doesn’t mean a suburban but a flex would be awesome, especially the eco boost
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jkm7680
> OPPOsaurus WRX
05/30/2015 at 22:10 |
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I’d suggest something with rear facing third row seats, but even I know those are a bad idea, haha.
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jkm7680
> 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
05/30/2015 at 22:10 |
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I wouldn’t feel bad at all about that one! Sounds much more practical than an Accord, plus spare tire on the back.
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415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:18 |
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Yeah I like it, with all the classic car insanity (when it rains it pours) I can get in this and have a break, I don’t have to think about anything haha. I work on shows and bring my tools, the back sits higher and it is nice to get my pelican case out of. Plus if I give any of my union brothers a ride from site to site I can get theirs in too, with A/C now! I was stuck in traffic one afternoon in San Jose trying to get back to SF and I was running out of water, I put my cold packs from my lunch under my legs haha, I hadn’t been that hot since I was in the Marines. Call me a pussy, I want my A/C!
AM
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:19 |
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1. Zero Kids.
2. Yes, black lab/german shepherd mix that’s not getting in the Jetta.
3. Tow a landscaping trailer all summer, can’t be pulled by Jetta.
4. Lots of snow between November-March, FWD Jetta is no bueno.
5. No but it’s nice to have space if needed. Jetta is little.
Basically Jetta is only good for fuel economy, truck does everything else. And even if I didn’t need the truck for anything other than wanting one, I’d still be sitting here like this:
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jkm7680
> 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
05/30/2015 at 22:19 |
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Haha, I still consider A/C a luxury. If it had smokers windows, then A/C would not be needed. Except in traffic.
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OPPOsaurus WRX
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:20 |
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Haha I lived
Frenchlicker
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:26 |
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I scrolled down to look at the answers. They are exactly what I hoped for.
dogisbadob
> Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
05/30/2015 at 22:27 |
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I love those cute lil two-tier shopping carts
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dogisbadob
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:27 |
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hehehe chihuahua fuckface :p
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Frenchlicker
> Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
05/30/2015 at 22:29 |
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If I hit the lottery I fully plan on wasting my money on one and figuring out how to write it off as a business expense.
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Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
> Frenchlicker
05/30/2015 at 22:36 |
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If I hit the lottery I fully plan on wasting my money on one and figuring out how to write it off as a business expense a fleet of them to tailgate Smart cars and Priuses.
My take on that
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Frenchlicker
> Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
05/30/2015 at 22:37 |
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Where I am from we do not have many of either. So I get to destroy much more of the planet trying to find one of those dreadful places. But we do have a gazillion bro trucks that it would dwarf, that’s a way better prize is my books.
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Makoyouidiot
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 22:40 |
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It’s great, if you can put up with constant niggles amd god awful mpg
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jkm7680
> Makoyouidiot
05/30/2015 at 22:41 |
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That as in constant electrical issues?
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Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
> Frenchlicker
05/30/2015 at 22:42 |
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They can’t coal-roll anymore after you crush them ;)
BorkBorkBjork
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 23:17 |
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You only need two questions for this quiz:
Do you want it?
Can you afford the higher purchase price and running costs?
If you answered yes to both these questions, then use you hard earned cash to buy whatever the fuck you want!
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Makoyouidiot
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 23:30 |
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Sometimes. Or trim rattling/falling off. Or small leaks of various types. Could be anything, it’s British.
Also you have to put it in 4 low occasionally or it will stop being able to go into 4 low. And the 6 disc changer under the passenger seat shakes enough to break itself because of the rigid way it’s bolted down.
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Frenchlicker
> Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
05/30/2015 at 23:40 |
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And the fact that mine actually has a good purpose just adds to it.
not for canada - australian in disguise
> jkm7680
05/30/2015 at 23:41 |
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Range Rover Autobiography LWB, the official car of fuck you, I don’t need this, but I’m buying it anyways because it costs more.
(also applies to the Escalade ESV, Yukon Denali XL, and the G-Wagen)
TheD0k_2many toys 2little time
> jkm7680
05/31/2015 at 03:40 |
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Nope. Thats why im planing on buying an f250 diesel instead
Berang
> jkm7680
05/31/2015 at 03:55 |
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How am I going to take my single child to the orthodontist AND carry THREE bags of groceries in anything less than a ford excursion? Answer me that mr. smarty brain. And what if it rains? I need something with four wheel drive!
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jkm7680
> Berang
05/31/2015 at 08:49 |
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God, IDK. Sounds to me that you need a Yukon XL for that!