He was already creepy before the glowing red eyes

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 05/30/2015 at 09:30 • Filed to: None

3

29

There’s a mediocre pizza chain here in the midwest called !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . They have a creepy mascot named Rocky Rococo. He’s a guy in a vaguely gangster-inspired white suit and hat with an 80s porn mustache and round glasses. Now they go and pull this shit.

Normally, Rocky Rococo looks like this:

Take away the suit, and he looks suspiciously familiar:

When he’s not busy filming Weekend at Bernie’s movies, Rocky Rococo appears in shitty low-budget tv and radio commercials where he says a bunch of dumb crap with a terrible attempt at a Chicago Italian accent.

Some marketing rocket scientist, who likely also produced this terrible commercial, decided the best way to advertise for Rocky Rococo was to stick his creepy face on the back of a bus and put the two center brake lights where his eyes go.

Rocky Rococo will haunt your dreams.

jkm7680 > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:32

1

That place looks like an excellent place to get food poisoning from. 10/10 would not ever eat there.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:34

1

There’s no way that’s not on purpose.

Textured Soy Protein > jkm7680 05/30/2015 at 09:34

0

They sell pan pizza by the slice at their drive thru.

jkm7680 > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:36

1

That sounds disgusting.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:36

0

I almost heard a bit of Yogi Bear in his voice... this is horrible!

Textured Soy Protein > jkm7680 05/30/2015 at 09:40

0

Well they’re not actually slices. More like squares.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:41

1

That commercial is offensive to chicagoans and Italians and pizza

fhrblig > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:42

0

I’ve never been there but I remember they tried to enter the Colorado market back in the 80’s. The only reason I remember this is that they were the only pizza chain around with a drive-thru and I thought that was weird.

You can find their old buildings scattered around the Denver metro area; they all had a similar design. One of them is an Indian restaurant at the northeast corner of Alameda and Chambers.

https://www.google.com/maps/@39.70870…

AM > jkm7680 05/30/2015 at 09:42

1

Come on it can't be as bad as Little Caesars. Now that is bad pizza.

jkm7680 > AM 05/30/2015 at 09:45

0

I have never had that stuff, haha.

jkm7680 > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 09:45

2

That looks rancid.

Textured Soy Protein > fhrblig 05/30/2015 at 09:50

2

They started here in Madison. Even here though they’ve been declining in popularity for a while now. There are still plenty of midwesterners who don’t know any better and enjoy overly doughy pizza with large amounts of unremarkable cheese piled on top, but we have wayyy better options nowadays.

Textured Soy Protein > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 05/30/2015 at 09:52

0

I agree.

Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 10:03

0

Reminds me of this

Birddog > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 10:04

0

That reminds me a bit of Happy Joe.

I’ve found the Pizza at Casey’s gas stations to be a bit, just a bit, better.

AM > jkm7680 05/30/2015 at 10:06

0

Trust me when I say you don't want to try it

Your boy, BJR > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 10:08

0

Official Grading: That shit looks heinous.

(I was born and raised at the jersey shore and work at a pizzeria. That is my authority.)

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > jkm7680 05/30/2015 at 10:08

0

It doesn’t matter when you’re drunk...that’s why this exists in a college town and got its start in a college town

Textured Soy Protein > Your boy, BJR 05/30/2015 at 10:19

1

My favorite pizza here in Madison is made by a guy from Trenton, NJ.

desertdog5051 > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 10:44

0

Blame it on Chicago. They try to spread their doughy pizza everywhere.

GhostZ > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 12:03

0

That is not Chicago pizza.

That is barely pizza at all.

There’s a chain here called Sarpinos that is similar to that. Their entire business model is “We stay open 1 hour later than Dominos.” I once ordered it drunkenly at 2AM and the box was so greasy that setting it down on a blanket still caused it to stain the mattress underneath . On top of that, it made me sick on top of being hungover.

Yet, there they are, still in business. They prey on drunk college students and people who are willing to take a massive dive in quality just to save 5-10% on the pizza price.

Your boy, BJR > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 12:40

0

I wouldn't call Trenton the hub of good NJ pizza, but even shitty NJ pizza is better than literally everywhere else in the world.

jkm7680 > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 05/30/2015 at 12:53

0

So, it’s pretty much food that should never be consumed when you are sober?

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > jkm7680 05/30/2015 at 13:17

0

Yup...except somehow I know people who actually like it sober

wkiernan > Textured Soy Protein 05/30/2015 at 14:48

0

What’s the scoop?

Chocolate, butterscotch or Rocky Roco... Road.

jkm7680 > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 05/30/2015 at 14:52

1

RustedSprinter > jkm7680 06/01/2015 at 19:48

0

It looks rancidly good.

DarthAbarth > Your boy, BJR 06/02/2015 at 20:25

0

I’d disagree. While there isn’t much at all in Trenton anymore, there is a rich history, going back to 1912, with Joe’s tomato pies, papa’s tomato pies, both Delorenzo’s, and more. Even jersey shore stalwart maruca’s, got their start in Trenton before moving to seaside.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Textured Soy Protein 06/03/2015 at 15:32

0

In the suit, he looks a lot like the bass player for one of my favorite bands:

Here’s a sampling: