BMW Asshat Theory

"450X_FTW" (mistermic)
05/21/2015 at 14:19 • Filed to: None

I’ve been in Germany for the past 3 weeks and there are more BMW, Mercedes, and Audi cars here than anywhere else I’ve ever been. And the BMW asshat driver does not exist here. I’m convinced that it’s just Americans in German cars that create asshats.

DISCUSSION (30)

AM > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:21

Maybe it’s not German cars, maybe most Americans with money are just asshats.

450X_FTW > AM
05/21/2015 at 14:24

The way germans drive make me want to give up my US citizenship and apply for a German one. When people drive here they only do that, drive. I’m in love with it

BrtStlnd > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:26

Honestly I really don’t think it’s a trend here either, I think many people just perceive it to be.

AM > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:27

I love the way they drive in Germany. No passing on the right, no driving in the left lane, etc.

It really makes driving much more enjoyable than it is here in North America. I hate driving on the highway here.

CB > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:27

Man, have you seen the kind of licensing they have to do there? The way they teach and enforce are kind of crazy. I remember hearing from some Discovery TV show that if you break down on the Autobahn, you get a ticket for not properly maintaining your vehicle or some shit. That shit would never fly here.

Klaus Schmoll > CB
05/21/2015 at 14:30

Only if you brake down because you are out of gas. And that can be avoided easily, so it makes sense to punish people for this kind of stupidity.

Azrek > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:31

I am not convinced this affliction is for German cars only. A Prius coasting in the left lane? If there is a Dump Truck in the left lane and an SUV in the right lane? Who do you hedge your bet on to go faster so you can pass?

Yes, Europeans have a better method for passing/cruising, but wait till you start dealing with their billions of traffic cameras!

Klaus Schmoll > BrtStlnd
05/21/2015 at 14:31

Preach to the choir! People love to hate and ages old stereotypes are better than nothing.

CB > Klaus Schmoll
05/21/2015 at 14:31

Thanks for the clarification.

MultiplaOrgasms > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:32

You say that, but not three weeks ago some dude in a 3GT nearly crashed into my moms poor little Datsun as she was attempting to overtake a lorry on the Autobahn. The asshat booted it on the left lane to squeeze past her car even though my mom was indicating to overtake. Very nearly hit the front left fender doing approx 100mph. God knows what his tank would have done to our ten year old japanese hatchback. Also Audi drivers do tailgate everywhere.

BrtStlnd > Klaus Schmoll
05/21/2015 at 14:34

They’re looking for it, so they see it. No one is looking for assholes driving Chevy Malibus, so they get dismissed as anomalies. If someone sees a BMW driver not use a turn signal or take up two parking spots “OH BMW ASSHAT OMG”

Klaus Schmoll > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:36

If you actually encounter an asshat driver in Germany chances are that he is driving an Audi. As Clarkson said years ago, the people who gave BMW a bad name have all moved on to Audi.

BTW, where in Germany are you?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > MultiplaOrgasms
05/21/2015 at 14:40

I’ve never seen an Audi tailgate anyone :p

Flat Six > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:50

In the last week I have been tailgated by an Aston Martin Vantage and a fart-can Honda Civic. I also observed a Mercury Villager change lanes without signalling. Clearly the worst drivers in the world own a:

1) Aston Martin

2) Honda

3) Mercury

WiscoProud > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:56

The problem is that often german luxury cars are used as status symbols, rather than being bought for enthusiast purposes. People who buy items as status symbols tend to be D-bags.

holdenbacktears > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 14:56

As have I, would generally agree until it comes to parking...

CB > BrtStlnd
05/21/2015 at 14:59

Probably because we like to hate people who look like they’re doing well.

450X_FTW > Klaus Schmoll
05/21/2015 at 14:59

Dusseldorf

450X_FTW > holdenbacktears
05/21/2015 at 15:00

In Germany though doesn’t matter what you drive if there is enough space for a person’s car they will squeeze next to you

BrtStlnd > CB
05/21/2015 at 15:05

That is the correct answer.

Kinja'd!!!

Echo51 > 450X_FTW
05/21/2015 at 15:07

Come to denmark and witness the fart-canned but okay sounding e36’s being beat around town while having more paint tones then allowed due to junkyard parts.

ly2v8-Brian > Klaus Schmoll
05/21/2015 at 15:30

I would say I’ve noticed the same. Also that Berliners brake at the last moment. Should be interesting to see how the Müncheners compare when I get there.

Smoggi - powered by 3 cylinders > CB
05/21/2015 at 15:58

Teaching: yes. Enforcing: Sadly not as much as you think. If you spend a lot of time driving here, especially on the Autobahn with a bit of traffic you soon start to notice people hogging the left or middle lane at lower speeds than would be reasonable. Also trucks overtaking each other has to be one of the worst things on the Autobahn. They are literatly rolling roadblocks even on 3 lane roads. If the police would actually enforce the rule that overtaking should be done in a quick manner (not over the course of 2 km) things would be even better.

Smoggi - powered by 3 cylinders > MultiplaOrgasms
05/21/2015 at 16:03

Whenever I read something like “poor little Datsun” and “overtaking Lorry on the Autobahn” I get flashbacks to the million times where I have been in the left lane going quite fast but not stupidly fast and some person in their poor little car decides to overtake a lorry at 100 km/h by indicating and without much checking moving into my lane expecting me to slow down for them. I’m not saying that’s what happened in your case but I tend to have more sympathy for the driver in the left lane in those situations.

MultiplaOrgasms > Smoggi - powered by 3 cylinders
05/21/2015 at 16:31

We were about halfway into the overtaking lane at that point. Now my mom really isn’t a particularly attentive driver, so I was the one who noticed the approaching BMW in the rear view mirror first. But I can tell you there was technically enough space for him to slow down in time. But the guy barely slowed down and simply squeezed his car between ours and the guard rail, then drove off. My mom obviously got a code brown, and went back behind that lorry for the next 2 miles.

Klaus Schmoll > ly2v8-Brian
05/21/2015 at 16:44

There’s a lot of difference between the North and South of Germany. In Hamburg you can read a map, eat a sandwich, and change lanes at last possible moment, they will let you in.

Munich is a bit more like Italy. People are a bit more focused on driving fast. So when switching lanes on the inner ring roads you have to set your indicators and sit on the outmost side of your lane. Like “Dude, I’m going to pull over anyway, nothing you can do.” And they will politely let you in. Just patiently waiting for someone kind enough might not do it.

We are polite people, but we also tend to ignore the meek. Show that you mean to do it.

Smoggi - powered by 3 cylinders > MultiplaOrgasms
05/22/2015 at 00:47

See that’s the problem right there. The guy is in the left lane which gives him the right of way. If your mom moves into his lane and he has to slow down she took his right of way. Was he a dick about it? Sure. But you would be aswell if someone did that to you at an intersection which is almost the same situation. Indicating doesn’t give anybody the right of way.

ly2v8-Brian > Klaus Schmoll
05/22/2015 at 01:29

Indeed that's what I've gathered so far.

pip bip - choose Corrour > 450X_FTW
05/22/2015 at 05:19

it’s just lack of driver training that causes asshats!

Germans get far better training.

somnium > 450X_FTW
05/22/2015 at 05:33

then take your time and visit the Königsallee. Lots of rich people, lots of asshats - but usually some really nice cars. on a good day you see ferraris, lambos, mclarens, teslas, etc..