Porsche Wants to Tell You About Its Microsite

"Money Hustard" (moneyhustard) 05/21/2015 at 08:30 • Filed to: None

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So there I am, checking out the the Panamera page on Porsche.com, when I come across what looks like a place holder that someone forgot to replace with actual marketing copy. “Interactive Microsite” is just the hook Porsche needs to sell more Panameras. I get through a paragraph that basically just states “this is a sporty sedan” and then I’m promted to “start web special.”

LIKE A WEB SPECIAL IS AN ACTUAL THING!

I don’t know, may be that’s what they call them in Germany, or maybe the Panamera gets Porsche’s agency’s D team. This is just lazy, but this isn’t the weird part.

THE MICROSITE IS DEFINITELY THE WEIRD PART.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

I’m a web marketer by trade, so this may just be funny to smug web marketer types, but I’ve never seen a brand refer to a marketing piece as a “microsite.” Sure in BS discovery meetings and greedy pitches, but never publicly.

The execution of this Microsite on the surface isn’t half bad. Really great photography with very thoughtful audience messaging. The music is just uneccessary, but the mute button is easy to find.

After making it through the starting splash screen, which again urges you to start the “web special” you are met with several panes highlighting buzz phrases that came out of some focus groups. Click on “highly charged” and you arrive at a broken YouTube video. Click on “Powerhouse” and you get information about it’s performance capabilities? Nope, you get asked the question “What does the new Panamera Turbo S have in common with falconry?”

....

OK, whatever, I’m a marketer, I churn out this bullshit all day, but wait, what’s this? “Signature,” what could that mean? It’s just a listing of target marketing personas mixed in with random Porsche employees and how they like their Panamera. Damn it, this web special microsite is reflexive in its voice as the It’s the Gary Shandling Show. It’s like they are coming right out and saying “hey! read this content that is pure marketing with absolutely zero impartial evaluation of the car, I know that’s exactly what you want when buying a car.”

I kind of admire German bluntness sometimes.