Oh no

"CB" (jrcb)
05/19/2015 at 20:02 • Filed to: Mercedes-Benz, The Name Game, Why are people so stupid

Mercedes’ new naming scheme is officially here! Flee! Flee for your lives!

I’d reference a certain show, but I don’t know how many pitchforks i’d get pointed towards me.

thebigbossyboss > CB
05/19/2015 at 20:30

Why the fuck do they have 6 G models???? Good god. I can’t even idenify them now. Never mind all that lol.

The G is when you want to drive a barn.

The GL is when you need to get to soccer practice.

The GLA is when you want a higher-riding hatchback that can come with a stupid big wing.

The GLE is when you need to get to soccer practice, but don’t have as many kids (so one instead of two).

The GLK is when you thought the Nitro looked cool, but wanted to spend more money and have a more prestigious brand.

And the GLE Coupe is when you want to sacrifice usability and ease of parking for style and being able to look down on poor people.

Any questions?

jkm7680 > thebigbossyboss
05/19/2015 at 20:36

G stands for Grey. The only color that you can buy a Mercedes in. It’s part of their “Colorblind appearance package.”

In memoriam: Mercedes-Benz ML, 1997-2015.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > CB
05/19/2015 at 22:26

I hope there’s a GLG

Vi517, JDX Racing > CB
05/20/2015 at 01:08

My proposal for the Mercedes naming system:

G -> G-Wagen

GLA -> GLA because it’s the entry level model, like the A class.

GLK -> GLC because it’s the lowish model, like the C class.

GLE -> GLE becasue it’s the mid-level model, like the E class.

GL -> GLS because it is the high level model, like the S class.

But that just makes too much sense.