Currently Seething With Irritation

"TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut" (twincharged)
05/17/2015 at 12:50 • Filed to: None

Because the university I applied to just asked me to write and submit a college essay and a bunch of other administrative material. Right in the middle of the exam period.

DISCUSSION (8)

cornerslide > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
05/17/2015 at 12:59

You’re young. You can hate it with a vengeance and still get it done.

Cherry_man1 > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
05/17/2015 at 13:00

Does i have a due date when it has to be in?

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Cherry_man1
05/17/2015 at 13:01

Tomorrow. Thank God I had this weekend to do it.

ttyymmnn > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
05/17/2015 at 13:06

Use this:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.

I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller ‘number nine’ and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > ttyymmnn
05/17/2015 at 13:15

ALL my stars, that’s magnificent.

ttyymmnn > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
05/17/2015 at 13:23

I wish I could say I wrote it. It’s from the earliest days of the Internet, and was written by Hugh Gallagher.

AJ Feldman (alecmets2011) > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
05/17/2015 at 14:22

Mind if I ask where?

Or a hint

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
05/17/2015 at 14:50

Chinese University of HK.