Someone here can't make up their damn mind

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 05/15/2015 at 11:05 • Filed to: Morning Satire that just so happens to be a Real Life Question

4

61

You give a kid a blank check, and he’s got no freaking idea what to do with it. A Golf R, or a Challenger RT Scat Pack...WTF?? Well, one particular Oppo hasn’t got the cajones to ask. So he genuinely told me to ask for him, because I’ve got nothing better to do at breakfast!

He’s tired of his boring German Sedan, and insane enough to even dare to think of cross-shopping these two. I figure Oppo would be a perfect place to ask. So have at it Oppo. You’re young, you’re crazy and/or stupid, and you’ve been given the choice of one of these two because this is what regular people “cross-shop” when you’re about to graduate high school: a high-performance AWD hot hatch, and a god damn full size pony car with a 485hp HEMI. Which do you graciously ask your parents for and why?

While that happens, I’m gonna check for fuel and spark on the 911 one more time.

JGrabowMSt > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:09

0

Getting anything other than the Golf R would be a disgrace to the community. Demand manual.

We need to convince VAG to continue making manual cars, especially wagons. Theres no one else left in the US market. If thats not the saddest thing youre reminded of all day, you know where the exit is.

Someone find me a damn kitten.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:09

3

Sounds like he needs a Camry. Not the V6 one.

Rico > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:09

3

Sounds like he needs to man his nuts up.

Leadbull > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:09

2

What is, “diversify yo bonds?”

DING DING DING

spanfucker retire bitch > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:10

1

I’d get this because APR tuning and sub-4 second acceleration times.

http://www.goapr.com/products/ecu_u…

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:11

2

Scat Pack. We need more muscle, less Golfs.

Twism > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:11

3

One is practical, frugal and a more sensible choice to show you are grown-up.

the other one will do burnouts and burn fuel at a prodigious rate.

How the hell(cat) is this a question?

He’ll have ample time to have a sensible car when he’s stuck with a wife and kids.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > JGrabowMSt 05/15/2015 at 11:11

0

Hey now, the kittens shall live.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Rico 05/15/2015 at 11:12

1

Sportwägen, Driver Of The Red Sportwagen > spanfucker retire bitch 05/15/2015 at 11:12

1

Damnit... was about to say this >:(

That or a MK6 GTI with all sorts of upgrades (coils, turbo, wheels, Cayenne 6 piston brakes, APR tune, etc)

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 05/15/2015 at 11:12

0

Why you say that. :p

Alfalfa Romeo > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:13

0

I’d take the Chally.

extraspecialbitter > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:13

3

Well, if you go with the Golf, your car will be mistaken for a hybrid . OTOH, if you go with the Scat Pack, you’ll get mistakenly arrested .

Dealer’s choice.

Nibbles > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:13

2

Challenger.

Sure, the hp is high, but that’s because it needs it because lolhuge
It’s totes safe because lolhuge
It’s not a VAG product so it will last more than 80,000 miles
It’s Mopar so parts are cheap (and inexpensive)
HEMI looks better than 2.0T
8 is 4 more than 4, that’s double the numbers
It sounds better
It looks better
RWD and such

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > extraspecialbitter 05/15/2015 at 11:14

0

I don’t see a win-win for either.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:16

2

Because he’s graduating high school and doesn’t need three or four hundred horsepower.

Nothing > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:17

1

I was in a similar dilemma last month, Challenger Scat Pack, or...

Tacoma DoubleCab. Tell him to get a Tacoma.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Twism 05/15/2015 at 11:17

0

Don’t for get the tires, and the clutches. And all the potential accidents that could happen. This car will bankrupt his ass!

Tapas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:17

1

How about another R - the F-Type R! Or the 2016 F-Type S, RWD Manual!

Hey, if you’re cross shopping a German hot hatch and American muscle, considering a British hoonmobile shouldn’t raise an eyebrow :D

If the blank check isn’t good for $120 grand for a new F-Type R, 2014 F-Type R convertibles are going for as low as $85 grand - same as the 2016 F-Type Ss. In fact, all used 2014 F-Type convertibles right now have depreciated an average of $20 grand from their MRSPs.

Other cars I would consider personally - the Cayman S and 2015 M3/M4.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 05/15/2015 at 11:18

1

Unfortunately we both know we cannot convince children to not be unwise. Learn the hard way and make’em suffer.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Tapas 05/15/2015 at 11:20

0

Well it isn’t me. And His check presumably ends at around $50k, still quite blank for a high school kid, no?

Mr. Van > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:22

4

Ask him which one he would look better getting buried in. Giving a high school graduate either is stupid. (Unless he haz mad skillz, yo.)

yamahog > Twism 05/15/2015 at 11:22

3

It’s funny how people act as if “wife and kids” is both inevitable and a death sentence.

Twism > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:25

0

because an AWD pocket rocket won’t burn through clutches?

But yeah, maintenance might be more expensive on the Chally, but the accident potential is higher on the R, methink (because ‘’I GOT AWD BRO I CAN DRIVE 110 IN THE RAIN BRO’’ ).

a 485 hp RWD v8 will remind you very quickly that conditions are not optimal for hooning.

yamahog > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:26

1

If my parents were willing to shell out up to $50k when I was graduating high school (and assuming my college was also being paid for), I would’ve wanted a Mustang. Depends on what you want to do with the car, though.

IMO, if he wants to autocross, Golf. If he wants to haul ass stoplight to stoplight on Woodward, Chally.

Twism > yamahog 05/15/2015 at 11:27

0

not a death sentence per se, but it’s much less justifiable to get a 2-door car with no cargo room when you have to haul a stroller and a children seat on a daily basis.

That’s what wagons were built for, but in the meantime, I’d say enjoy the glorious asocial RWD coupe while you have the chance.

Alex B > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:28

1

I would choose the Golf R to be honest.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Mr. Van 05/15/2015 at 11:28

0

He said “Chally”

desertdog5051 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:28

7

Such first world problems.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Alex B 05/15/2015 at 11:28

0

Why is that.

Alex B > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:31

1

I’m not a big fan of American cars. As simple as that. Jeeps, Ford or Tesla are the only ones I would consider realistically.

/flamesuit on

Tapas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:34

0

Oh damn, that’s quite sizable!

How about a CPO/CarMax M3 or a 08/09 Z06?

yamahog > Twism 05/15/2015 at 11:35

1

Orrrrrr don’t have kids and “while you have the chance” is the rest of your life. There is such an option, so IMO we should stop saying WHEN and start saying IF ;)

Tripper > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:39

1

I would have the Golf R, without batting an eye at the challenger.

Twism > yamahog 05/15/2015 at 11:39

1

Well most people wants to procreate, so I was assuming our mystery shopper was among the majority.

But yeah, not having kids is also an option (that I’ve chosen).

Raising a kid from 0 to 18 costs MINIMUM $200,000 (and that’s without any luxury. That’s A LOT of car parts.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > yamahog 05/15/2015 at 11:39

0

He’s a west coaster. Not sure if straight lines would be relevant still :p

John_Harbinson > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:40

0

May I suggest the sampler, sir?

S63 Amg

http://ebay.to/1ICx8WK

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Tripper 05/15/2015 at 11:40

0

Why is that?

TheRealBicycleBuck > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:40

3

I faced a similar dilemma last year. The practical side voted for a new truck (Tacoma), the stupid kid in me wanted something fast. I ended up with a WRX hatch. Here’s why:

AWD, 265hp, manual = stupid grins

Hatch, because practical

WRX, because my teenagers fit in the back seat

Car, because my wife has the SUV with a tow package = lots of room for stuff inside, able to hook up a trailer for hauling more (and dirtier) stuff outside. I also still have my old truck for dirty loads when I don’t want to get a trailer

I also made it even more practical by adding cargo bars and a big box. Now it can haul me, 3 Scouts, and all their camping gear.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > desertdog5051 05/15/2015 at 11:40

1

I know right.

B_dol > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:40

1

Golf R. Hellcat is a shit car to have to live with day in and day out.

PushToStart > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:43

2

With a $50K limit?

Neither- wait for Focus RS

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Tapas 05/15/2015 at 11:44

1

I guess first world problems didn’t account for those two..

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > B_dol 05/15/2015 at 11:45

1

It’s just a Scat Pack though..

yamahog > Twism 05/15/2015 at 11:47

1

Yup, not counting college either! And even the “most people” aspect is on the downturn, birthrates declining all over the place.

yamahog > Alex B 05/15/2015 at 11:49

1

*flamethrower guitar on*

yamahog > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:51

2

If he has access to any canyon roads, why the hell is Challenger even on the table?? Get some ‘Merica that can corner! Well, to each their own.

yamahog > PushToStart 05/15/2015 at 11:52

0

That is a solid idea.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:55

0

I, being a Dodge guy, would choose the Challenger.

The Scat Pack is a pretty good value for your dollar. It’s got power, but it’s also fairly tame. It has a really good interior. Manual option. I can’t speak for a Golf’s rear seatroom, but I’ve heard the Challenger’s, for what it is, is livable.

Plus, it just looks good.

Tripper > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:56

0

A few reasons. I was not a fan of the only challenger that I have ever driven (SRT-8 not sure of the year). The challenger is my least favorite of the 3 (challenger, camaro, mustang). Finally I like just like the more “sophisticated” golf. Also, and not that it really matters but VW loonies will likely keep the resale high on the golf R the way they have on the R32.

PS9 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 11:57

2

If it’s me, neither. Take that blank check and fund a masters degree with it. Then pull a BatteryTenderUnnecessary and get a genuine supercar when you get out (and get your career going and fail a few times before you succeed because thats how things work)

B_dol > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 12:07

0

As with any car purchase, I suggest spending some quality time in the car including 2 or more test drives. The Mustang/Camaro/Challenger cars really aren’t for everyone. I spent a lot of time shopping big muscle cars and found I enjoy small nimble cars a whole lot more. They also sip less gas and take up <1 park spot.

yamahog > PS9 05/15/2015 at 12:10

0

That makes sense to us mere mortals bootstrappin our way through life, but I’d wager that most parents offering up to $50k for a high school graduation present already have college and likely grad school taken care of.

PS9 > yamahog 05/15/2015 at 12:12

4

Those are the ones who go for Liberal Arts because they know good and damned well they’re not gonna need anything else when they get out...

Fuck. I’m not bitter. I swear I’m not. I...just...fuck it all.

yamahog > PS9 05/15/2015 at 12:20

2

It’s OK, plenty of un/underemployed engineering and business majors out there too. Don’t fall for the STEM circlejerk.

And FWIW, my ex had 5 years of college and a brand new BMW funded by bank of Dad, but he was getting a dual-degree in finance and computer science. Definitely not relying on mom and dad any more, and his goals are to surpass his dad’s earnings. /coolstoryhog

JGrabowMSt > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 12:41

0

Im the one that needs kittens to feel better. The VAG is the only hope of a manual wagon in the US market.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > yamahog 05/15/2015 at 14:52

0

Because the others are too common. If only Plymouth could return for a 5000 limited run of a Road Runner.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 14:58

2

3 Versa Notes duh.

yamahog > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 05/15/2015 at 15:12

1

Sometimes things are popular for a reason ;)

MegaSuper > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/15/2015 at 19:30

0

A question of optics: Would one be bothered with a Scat Pack, knowing a Hellcat is out there? Whereas the Golf R is the top-of-the-top?

I give the Golf R the vote just because the Challenger is a physically massive car. That may not matter though depending on where one lives.

Mr. Van > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/16/2015 at 09:58

0

All joking aside, as a parent of a future high school graduate, I would say the VW. The Challenger for a kid will be cop-bait, while the VW would be a more under the radar choice.