"Smyth Performance Engineer" (mikegallant)
05/02/2015 at 16:25 • Filed to: VW, Beetle, Bombardier, explosion, detonation, humor, comedy, science, nature, similarities, butt, rpm, design, theft, stealing, copying, model, National Geographic, The More You Know, Volkswagen |  3
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The Bombardier beetle is a finely engineered bio-mechanical machine which deliberately mixes precise amounts of hydrogen peroxide and hydroquinones, and uses a rapidly moving valve system. It’s tiny internal “engine” produces 500 tiny explosions in their backside each second. The explosion exits through a specially designed channel the beetle aims at enemies.
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Many years later, perhaps even a few hundred years after the Bombardier beetle design was refined, the Germans plotted to steal this elegant model. They knew that someone was going to cash in on the exploding butt, and they weren’t going to let it be the French! Everything was to be copied to a T. It would be named “The Beetle”. Due to lack of bio-technology at the time, it was decided it would be a finely engineered electrochemical-electromechanical machine which deliberately mixes precise amounts of oxygen and atomized gasoline under pressure with spark, and uses a rapidly moving valve system. Every detail was replicated with the accuracy of a watch-maker, right down to the rate of posterior detonations. The fumes even exited through a specially designed channel the beetle aims at its enemies.
These are Germans we are talking about here, they are very clever, and they do not joke about these sorts of things. Actually they don’t joke about much. I drew a picture for the Germans in the audience.
Don’t believe me? Here is my evidence:
A modified hot-rod VW Beetle engine should “red-line” around 7,500rpm. This is therefore the engine rpm that a startled, hot Beetle will turn while fleeing Triumph TR3’s, Chevy Corvettes, and Citroen 2CVs (natural enemies of the Beetle, Axis/Allies and shit)
7500rpm * 4 cylinders = 30,000 explosion/exhaust events per minute.
30,000/60seconds =
500 BUTT EXPLOSION/EXHAUST EVENTS PER SECOND! (EEPS!)
In case you forgot, this is
PRECISELY the same rate as the Bombardier beetle
!
These Germans are truly meticulous.
HammerheadFistpunch
> Smyth Performance Engineer
05/02/2015 at 16:55 |
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The beetle is 2 stroke eh?
If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
> Smyth Performance Engineer
05/02/2015 at 17:01 |
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You need to halve that explosion rate. 4-stroke means the cylinder ignites only every other time that the piston reaches top-dead-center.
pip bip - choose Corrour
> Smyth Performance Engineer
05/02/2015 at 19:04 |
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spot on here!
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Smyth Performance Engineer
> HammerheadFistpunch
05/02/2015 at 20:16 |
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AH, YOU MUST BE GERMAN!
Please notice that I was counting exhaust and explosion as two separate events.
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Smyth Performance Engineer
> If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/02/2015 at 20:17 |
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AH, YOU MUST BE GERMAN!
Please notice that I was counting exhaust and explosion as two separate events.