Opponauts with beards!

"area man" (hurrburgring)
04/09/2015 at 14:58 • Filed to: None

The facial hair, not the convenient social contract. Do you use beard oil? I just picked up some of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and it's great. Softens the hair nicely and has a subtle fresh-cut wood smell. The reviews all say that women will love it, and they are not wrong. Highly recommend.

Do not recommend paying the extra five bucks to have it shipped in a "shop rag" though...

DISCUSSION (81)

TheHondaBro > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:00

Never heard of it. Worth it?

Brian, The Life of > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:02

This is relevant to my interests. I've spent the last few weeks growing the first full beard I've ever had and was just thinking about researching "product" that would soften it a bit. Does this stuff increase groomability, too?

HammerheadFistpunch > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:03

There is only one beard conditioning product my wife approves of

Kinja'd!!!

505Turbeaux > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:03

ugh can I just get something so I dont have to shave this fucking thing every day? I cant roll with the beard, though I have certainly tried.

I try to go downtown on my lady and it is all like "oh that tickles my thighs"

area man > TheHondaBro
04/09/2015 at 15:03

How long is your beard?

pwrtrn > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:03

I use this stuff. I really like it. http://choicebeard.com/collections/lo…

Party-vi > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:04

Whyfor do I need beard oil for my beard?

jariten1781 > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:04

A huge benefit of keeping a beard is being able to skimp on facial hair maintenance. Having to put goop in it lessens that. I'll pass.

brian1321 > Party-vi
04/09/2015 at 15:04

Make it soft so when we make out it doesnt start a fire

TheHondaBro > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:05

Well I trimmed it last night. Was decently scruffy though.

area man > Brian, The Life of
04/09/2015 at 15:06

Allegedly with regular use. I've only had it for a few days now but already I am noticing less random hairs poking out sideways. If you're looking for groomability straight away, a balm+oil combo might be more your speed (I've done a stupid amount of research into this): http://themodcabin.com/product/beard-…

Takuro Spirit > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:06

This November I might need some. I keep it pretty trimmed all summer.

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:07

I make my own... Those beard oils are just so expensive to use on a daily basis. Simple almond oil and jojoba oil 50/50ish works pretty well, but will prob add something more to it soon.

RallyWrench > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:07

I prefer to actually get some fresh cut wood in my beard via chainsaw on a regular basis.

newsmctado > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:07

Beards are for hipsters. Women like a baby smooth face.

Sincerely,

32 year old man who still can't grow a beard and isn't just jealous of others who can, goddammit!!

Party-vi > brian1321
04/09/2015 at 15:07

My wiry beard establishes dominance in this relationship. I will not have you undermine my authority!

>.>

<.<

Now get over here

area man > TheHondaBro
04/09/2015 at 15:07

If your beard hair is thick and coarse it's definitely worth it, even with less than an inch of growth.

TheHondaBro > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:08

Well then...

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:08

Never knew there was such a thing. I might have to give this a whirl. My beard does get rather hobo-ey after a while. Not to mention it's incredibly rough (like steel wool almost). I usually end up trimming it probably every 6-8 weeks as it gets rather unkempt looking.

area man > Party-vi
04/09/2015 at 15:10

Softens and straightens the hair. If you have a thick and coarse beard like me, you'll notice that the individual hairs can develop kinks and angles as they get tangled and caught beneath each other while they grow. Eventually the result is a funny-shaped beard - using oil relaxes the hairs and keeps growth regular and manageable while softening it. It also helps with skin hydration if you ever get any flaking.

area man > HammerheadFistpunch
04/09/2015 at 15:10

That is too bad! Beards are a lot of fun. I've been rocking some version of one for about 10 years now.

pauljones > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:11

Interdasting. I'm going to have to look into this. My beard is a bit patchy towards the back jawbone, but as it's never more than half an inch long, it looks alright. The question is whether or not something like this would work on facial hair that short. Have you come across any indications one way or the other?

Kevin Barrett > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:11

I got a cold about 6 weeks ago and combed VapoRub into my beard. It was the very best thing about being sick, let me tell you.

Kinja'd!!!

area man > 505Turbeaux
04/09/2015 at 15:11

Damn shame. I haven't put a razor to my cheek in god knows how long. My lady likes it :).

area man > jariten1781
04/09/2015 at 15:12

Well good thing this is the consistency of olive oil and literally takes less than a minute to apply.

area man > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
04/09/2015 at 15:13

Mine is really rough also. It softens a bit after a couple months but not enough to prevent funny shapes. Give it a go!

Rico > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:14

Whoa gonna have to try this my beard makes my girl itchy but she loves it and doesn't want me to shave it.

Blessing and a curse!

CalzoneGolem > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:15

My initial reaction is recoil from this in horror.

HammerheadFistpunch > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:16

that's not to say I haven't had one (sporting a half in. Growth right now) but if it's for the lady in my life... it's clean the flips the switch. Also long hair doesn't work either apparently.

area man > pauljones
04/09/2015 at 15:17

I don't see why it wouldn't. The hair on my upper cheeks/close to my ears is shorter and thinner but it also feels softer after a few days. In fact you might even see results quicker b/c the hair follicles are that much closer to the surface.

area man > Kevin Barrett
04/09/2015 at 15:17

Wow I have never thought of doing that...

area man > mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/
04/09/2015 at 15:17

That's a great idea. You're damn right it's expensive for daily use.

area man > RallyWrench
04/09/2015 at 15:18

Some of us are urban wannabes.

DrJohannVegas > brian1321
04/09/2015 at 15:18

Mah Beard didn't start the fire! It was always burnin, since the logo's been turnin.

area man > CalzoneGolem
04/09/2015 at 15:18

That was mine too. I told a friend I felt like a real asshole buying this. But now I am sold.

area man > newsmctado
04/09/2015 at 15:18

Though I can never experience your pain, I feel for you, man.

Ballzonya > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:21

I use "Honest Amish" beard wax with a brush every morning. It helps maintain a cleaner look with a full "burly" beard.

http://www.amazon.com/Honest-Amish-B…

area man > Rico
04/09/2015 at 15:21

You should check some out. You should also grow your beard all the way out!

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:22

I used to use baby lotion and then my mom got me some beard oil as a gift. It was great and I couldn't go back to baby lotion. That's when I realized how expensive they are and decided to make my own. Just look up essential oils online or emulate the ingredients in the beard oil you like!

pauljones > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:23

Okay, I'm trying this. Thanks for sharing this!

CalzoneGolem > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:25

Well, you are a real asshole so there's that.

Shady Balkan Subject, Drives an Alfa > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:25

As one of the beard club(it is given I am an Eastern European), I just got into the absolute delight that is using Straight razor. It is soooo scary, but so satisfying and smooth. For the after I just use a regular Nivea cream or an aftershave, because alcohol and the awesome stinging feeling, because FUCK I AM A MAN!?!?!?!?!??!/!?!

area man > CalzoneGolem
04/09/2015 at 15:26

True dat!

Textured Soy Protein > newsmctado
04/09/2015 at 15:27

Don't be jealous. Shaving sucks.

Sincerely,

Another 32 year old man who when he was a prepubescent kid couldn't wait until he had manly facial hair and now sports perma-stubble because he hates shaving.

area man > Shady Balkan Subject, Drives an Alfa
04/09/2015 at 15:27

When society inevitably begins to reject my beard in five years or whatever, I will probably bust out a straight razor. One of the downsides to having a beard for so long is that I've never experienced a barbershop shave.

RallyWrench > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:29

That happens sometimes. Serious question though: does oiling the beard help with dry skin underneath?

jkm7680 > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:31

I have light stubble. I don't count.

deekster_caddy > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:31

WTF is the "convenient social contract"? Do I dare google this?

Baeromez > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:32

Beard products that I use:

- Soap

-Water

area man > RallyWrench
04/09/2015 at 15:33

Why yes it does! I had a bit of an issue with beard dandruff as the winter was winding down. A bit of Head&Shoulders would take care of it for a day but it would be back the next. Started using the oil on Monday after my morning shower - haven't shampooed my beard since then and I'm still flake-free.

Janson Rodger > newsmctado
04/09/2015 at 15:33

I'm bald and I look like a big dumb baby without facial hair.

Sincerely,

32 year old man who doesn't want to look like a big dumb baby.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:33

I'll just leave this here...

http://www.article15clothing.com/p-ssy-juice-be…

area man > deekster_caddy
04/09/2015 at 15:34

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?ter…

area man > Baeromez
04/09/2015 at 15:34

You wash your beard with soap? You must have a dry-ass beard.

area man > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
04/09/2015 at 15:36

I don't know what's more disturbing, the product or the live help chatbox that popped up asking if I had any questions.

"Um... is the juice locally sourced?"

RallyWrench > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:36

That's reason enough for me to consider it, then. Conditioner doesn't cut it.

Baeromez > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:38

My hair is really thick and fairly oily by nature; soap just gets it clean. If I used anything else it would be kinda greasy.

deekster_caddy > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:42

Hmm, wow. I had no idea. Apparently this is a big thing in Hollywood too, an agent might pay to "place" a woman with a closeted gay male actor to get their 'foot' into the acting biz. Maybe even with marriage! Holy crap this is interesting stuff.

(edit for full disclosure - I have alopecia and shave my entire head, so this just won't do anything for me)

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:45

Obligatory:

MonkeePuzzle > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:49

similar to my conundrum with baby oil, is this made FROM beards, or made FOR beards?

MrDakka > Party-vi
04/09/2015 at 15:49

It's also bulletproof; why do you think all the Tier 1/spec-ops operators have beards?

MonkeePuzzle > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:51

ok, I'll ask... can one use this on their pubes?

EVERYONE WAS THINKING IT !!!

area man > MonkeePuzzle
04/09/2015 at 15:52

I don't see why not!

Rico > area man
04/09/2015 at 15:55

It would only take me about 2 weeks lol

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > newsmctado
04/09/2015 at 16:02

Came here to post something like this.

I like my clean shaven look, but wouldn't mind at least having the chance to see what I look like with a beard. haha

area man > Textured Soy Protein
04/09/2015 at 16:09

Give in and let it grow, let it grooooowwwww

area man > HammerheadFistpunch
04/09/2015 at 16:10

Also do you actually use a razor like that bc if so, badass

Shady Balkan Subject, Drives an Alfa > area man
04/09/2015 at 16:22

I have also never experienced a proper barbershop. The only one I can visit wants too much of my moniez that I had earned, but the straight razor is pretty close, even if you do it at home. You just need to get the sharpening part right. It really demand your full attention in order to not kill yourself, but the end result is so much better than you can achieve than with normal razor. My GF likes me with very gruff beard or absolutely clean and the straight razor is perfect.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > area man
04/09/2015 at 16:39

HAHA!! I wish they had their "commercials" for it on YouTube. This'll have to do.

lone_liberal > area man
04/09/2015 at 16:57

No. I have a beard because I'm too lazy to shave so anything above keeping it clean would be defeating the purpose. BTW my beard is older than many Oppos so I may just be a cranky old man.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > area man
04/09/2015 at 18:08

At what length does beard oil actually do something? I mean, I'd love to smell like fresh-cut wood, but wood (ba dum tss) it really be worth it? I trim my beard to a 4 or 5.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > area man
04/09/2015 at 18:10

I have a beard. You can make your beard soft by using some regular hair shampoo and conditioner.

area man > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
04/09/2015 at 18:11

That may be true for you but not for me!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > HammerheadFistpunch
04/09/2015 at 18:12

Well you're obviously not divorced yet...

Textured Soy Protein > area man
04/09/2015 at 18:19

I'm bald, and have a goatee. Full beard + bald is a... specific look. I tried it last winter and my gf couldn't wait for me to go back to the goatee. My excuse was last winter was bitter ass cold and it helped keep my face warm. But I figured might as well not poke that particular bee's next this most recent previous winter.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > area man
04/09/2015 at 18:30

Why? Is your beard something like this:

Kinja'd!!!