It Ages Like Milk

"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve) 04/08/2015 at 16:40 • Filed to: unpopular oppopinion

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I saw a post somewhere about cars with timeless designs. How about those whose designs just seem stuck in their era...

A lot of these were considered attractive in their own time but viewed through a modern lens, they age like milk:

The best of these turn cheesy over time and the worst make you vomit.

This thing is about as 1990 as they come. But in the EXTREME fluorescent pastel of early 90s youth-pandering-marketing, it actually looked really good.

Colonnade A-body with F-body styling cues and a 220-hp Pontiac 400 backed with a 4-speed or a TH400. It's cool for a malaise car, but it definitely looks desperate now.

The ES250 was the Lexus division's first foray into mid-size luxury. The ES is still extremely popular among the retirement-tan crowd as it's a reliable, quiet, safe box to take to the adult daycare.

Applying the LS' iconic design to a Camry was a great idea, but the proportions came out wrong - especially in the back.

So, while the LS looks like the pinnacle of early 90s luxury, the ES looks like its little brother trying to wear an oversized suit.

Keeping with the 90s Japanese Luxury theme, the early Q cars (pre-grille) were great. The Q45a with active suspension could outhandle a 7-series and cost as much as a 5er.

It wasn't until they added a grille in 1993 that the styling had legs.

So, do you have any suggestions?

Milky > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 16:46

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Boxer_4 > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 16:48

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Ages like milk?

Destructive Tester > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 16:53

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Every damn thing about this screams 1990's. The only thing it seems to be missing is the sweet 90's automatic seat belts.

Zerofret > Milky 04/08/2015 at 16:54

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YASSS

Zerofret > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 16:57

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Milky > Zerofret 04/08/2015 at 17:08

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It really says something that this is what happens when you GIS "90s cup"

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Milky 04/08/2015 at 17:10

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Oh my dear lord, that was hysterical.

\Suppressed laughter in a cubicle

TheTick247 > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 17:11

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1993 Buick Skylark:

AUDACIA > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 17:14

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Not fair! It wouldn't hurt like that in black...

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Zerofret 04/08/2015 at 17:29

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The Grand Am yes, the Mustang not as much. Except the 3 spoke wheels. Those wheels, so stuck in the 90s.

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 17:43

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How dare you insult the Can Am.

Axial > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 18:01

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But this one is so stuck in the '90s that it's charming.

NoneOfYourBiz > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 18:03

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I rarely if ever see these on the road anymore. They seemed to just rust out over time.

RallyWrench > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 18:18

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So jellybean. Much 90s. Wow.

Also, 911, amirite? I mean, look at this 1965 model:

cornerslide > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 19:15

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The Pontiac Canmontecarlam.

Zerofret > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/08/2015 at 20:20

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I personally feel like that model mustang is just too much like a taurus. Which I forgot to post alongside those two.

potentialthreat > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/08/2015 at 20:21

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Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > potentialthreat 04/08/2015 at 20:37

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That's a great one. The Alfa SZ straddled (or was it Stradale'd - sorry for the pun. It's been a long day) the threshold of 70s-80s Wedges and 90s Bubbles. You can still see some of its design influence today in the profile and deep wheel arches. However, the HUGE, flat front bumper and Back-to-the-Future II accents and details just made the car look unusual. In 1989 it was a thing of beauty. By the time the 8C came around a decade and a half later, the SZ was all but forgotten:

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > potentialthreat 04/08/2015 at 20:44

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Also sort of in the same vein:

Autech Stelvio

potentialthreat > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/09/2015 at 01:19

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I was looking for this one the other day and couldnt remember the name.

I love the SZ bumper although ive never really thought of the flatness to be bad in a generation style sense. More of racecar/dtm styling on the street . I love the simplicity though of the front bumper.

Rear fog lights are pretty ugly though, and the grooves when you open hood near the lights.