Dear Ricers:

"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
03/19/2015 at 18:23 • Filed to: None

1. Your '00 Civic is not fast, and no, driving aggressively does not make it fast.

2. Putting blue fog lights on your car is stupid.

3. You don't need a tow hook, especially a colorful one.

4. Crayola finger paint is generally not to be used with wheels.

5. Stop racing in heavily populated areas, nobody is impressed but yourself. And you shouldn't be.

6. If your fart can measures five inches in diameter, then you should probably should have just thrown it out after the coffee was finished.

7. Vtec does not mean "FASTEST CAR IN THE WORLD."

8. Idiotic stickers and fake trim pieces doesn't make you look cool. It makes you look like a mobile Autozone catalog.

9. Giant spoilers are stupid. Mmmkay?

So please stop doing this.

Sincerely,

-Myself

DISCUSSION (29)

scoob > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 18:25

1. YOLO

2. YOLO

3. YOLO

4. YOLO

5. YOLO

6. YOLO.

7. 420swag4u

8. YOLO

9. See #2

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > scoob
03/19/2015 at 18:29

Kinja'd!!!

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 18:32

"Brah do you even fwd?! I just beat a 04 silverado in the right lane. Coilovers are mad respect. I get 34mpg while trapping camaros son. #STANCENATION"

scoob > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)
03/19/2015 at 18:34

Shouldn't it be cut springs?

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 18:34

My cars usually sound like they have a fart can.. but mostly because I buy old cars worth nothing and drive them for a few months until they disintegrate (the exhaust often fall off) :P

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 18:38

Before I got my '03 Civic, I always figured Civics were slow and wondered why anybody bothered modding them. After I got my Civic, I get it even less. Like yeah, it's faster than my Corvair was, but not by nearly as much as I thought it would be. Civic is straight up gutless.

Katsumoto > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 18:39

Please adjust #2 for yellow "JDM" foglights.

jkm7680 > Katsumoto
03/19/2015 at 18:41

The blue ones are even worse. I saw a shitty ass old Accord with police blue fogs last week.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > scoob
03/19/2015 at 18:41

*ebay no-name coilovers bought after working the late shift at auto zone while bragging that you produce 12lbs of boost....with no turbo ONLY a cam swap.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > scoob
03/19/2015 at 18:47

Best response all week!

Katsumoto > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:02

I'm glad I live in a state that takes blue foglighted idiots and gives them a ticket.

Anything Blue or Red on the front/back/side or under a car is illegal here. So the ricers here use yellow foglights. Typically with collapsed suns behind the yellow making them even more brighter.

MrDakka > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:03

Heathen unbeliever, you will learn to worship at the temple of VTEC and sing its praises to the unwashed masses.

jkm7680 > Katsumoto
03/19/2015 at 19:04

I'm 99% sure it's illegal here also.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:04

I saw a Lancer today (hopefully not an evo) with the trunk, mirrors and top of the grille covered in stickers. Licence plate: Stkrbom

I've seen a lot of fads come and go... But making it look like someone threw up a bowl of fruity pebbles on one particular panel of your car is just terrible.

jkm7680 > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
03/19/2015 at 19:05

VA tag right? Comes back to a '14 Lancer GT, so luckily it was not an evo.

I just don't understand stickerbombing at all. You pretty much summed it up there, haha.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:16

Sure was a VA tag. Ah the wonders of the internet. Do mine next! G3NGAR

jkm7680 > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
03/19/2015 at 19:18

Haha, '06 Sebring Touring.

You can search who's got what licence plate on Carfax for free.

http://www.carfax.com/

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:22

Hah, totally forgot mine was a touring. Fun fact: my registration says it's a sedan when clearly it's a two door convertible (though it is built on the sedan platform)

jkm7680 > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
03/19/2015 at 19:24

Haha, wow. If anybody ever asks, just say you made it a vert yourself.

DoYouEvenShift > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:30

Also, -5 degrees of camber is not a good idea for, handling, tire life of your Discount Tire clearance China rubber thats way too narrow for your 8" wide wheel. And it looka like a squished bug.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:39

actually that could explain a lot

jkm7680 > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
03/19/2015 at 19:39

Haha, how so?

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:46

next time you ride in one just listen to all the creeks and groans any time you go over a speed bump or turn out of a driveway. Sounds a lot like someone just hacked it together

jkm7680 > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
03/19/2015 at 19:49

Haha, get a Genesis Coupe now!

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 19:50

I'm working on it!

But rumors of third gen TT v6 Lambda II make me want to wait it out. TT v6 !!

jkm7680 > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
03/19/2015 at 19:52

Nice, nice. Just make sure that they actually know what they are selling this time around :P

thebigbossyboss > jkm7680
03/19/2015 at 21:08

*tries to search tag*

*canada can-not-da into*

*cries*

pip bip - choose Corrour > jkm7680
03/20/2015 at 07:01

i agree with it all , especially number 5!

Purgso > jkm7680
03/20/2015 at 08:00

A few guys in my car club use colored fog lights to identify each other. With that being said, blue fog lights are illegal in Wisconsin