"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/03/2015 at 23:29 • Filed to: None
0
16|
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/03/2015 at 23:29 • Filed to: None | 0
| 16 |
My gf gets a monthly craving for two things: beef, and chocolate. Not together, but almost. Usually this manifests itself in the form of a single butter burger with the works from !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , and nibbling on pieces of a gigantic dark chocolate bar with the fancy 60% cacao or whatever.
Yesterday, we had a light dinner, and then she started trying to take inventory of the various items we had in our kitchen that might be made into a chocolate dessert. "Maybe I could melt down some chocolate and cover some peanuts in it!" I, thinking this sounded like far more effort than necessary, offered to drive to the whole 1.4 miles to the closest grocery store.
I returned, after murdering a bunch of piles of snow with my Jeep, with dark chocolate-covered pretzels, and a piece of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. "OMG I love this frosting!" She was happy, all was well. The rather large piece of cake was only about half eaten when we got through with it.
Today, in a meeting, I got a text: "So did you save that cake for me? Also the cable's not working." After doing some remote tech support on the cable (Me: "Ok so when you turn the tv on what's it say?" Her: "WTF now it's working fine!") I told her yes, the cake was all hers if she wanted.
Then it started to snow. Traffic was pretty backed up so I stayed at work about a half hour extra. She said she was going to do some yoga and eat a salad, and I could do whatever I felt like for dinner. Then I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything from our favorite little taqueria on my way home from work.
"Yeah! Carne asada burrito!"
So we ate our dinner, and she killed the whole burrito. "Wow I wasn't expecting to eat the whole thing!" Sure babe, sure.
Then she broke out the remaining chocolate cake, and went upstairs to watch Real Housewives of Who Gives a Fuck What City Those Bitches Are In. It's her guilty pleasure, along with The Bachelor, and Lifetime/Hallmark Christmas movies, about 40 of which are still on our DVR waiting to be deleted. The best is !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! starring Brandon Routh as a hunky firefighter who finds a stray cat which leads him to fall in love with a veterinary student who gets evicted from her apartment for having a cat when her nosy landlady doesn't allow cats, so Brandon Routh is all like "hey just move in with me, our cats will be pals!" but of course mild, not-very-dramatic drama ensues.
Oh, how the former Superman has fallen.
Anyway, she took the cake upstairs with her, and then hollered downstairs asking if I wanted any of the cake. I went upstairs, and I took a bite, but thought, hey I'm still working on my beer, I'd rather have cake later. So I asked her to just save me a bite or two and I'd eat it later.
"WHAT????? YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST SIT HERE WITH UN-EATEN CAKE UNTIL YOU COME BACK? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE."
Leadbull
> Textured Soy Protein
02/03/2015 at 23:50 |
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I just spent two minutes of my life reading about someone eating.
¯\_()_/¯
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Textured Soy Protein
> Leadbull
02/03/2015 at 23:52 |
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But the punchline .
Cajun Ginger
> Textured Soy Protein
02/03/2015 at 23:56 |
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that is exactly why I went out for a lovely burger then after I had fried brownie bites.
StingrayJake
> Textured Soy Protein
02/03/2015 at 23:59 |
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Wait... There's a few Culver's in Texas? I've never heard of this place. Sounds a lot like Braum's, which might I add is the finest of regional burger/ice cream chains.
Little Black Coupe Turned Silver
> StingrayJake
02/03/2015 at 23:59 |
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How dare you call Culver's an *ice cream* chain!
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Little Black Coupe Turned Silver
> Textured Soy Protein
02/04/2015 at 00:00 |
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I see nothing wrong with this...
...I might have had a massive Cheesecake Factory burger for lunch, and am now snacking on those mini unwrapped Reese's PB Cups.
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Textured Soy Protein
> StingrayJake
02/04/2015 at 00:26 |
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Culver's doesn't have ice cream. They have frozen custard. A fact which they'll be sure to remind you of if you dare to call it ice cream in a Culver's.
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StingrayJake
> Textured Soy Protein
02/04/2015 at 00:37 |
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My wife is a custard fan. Can't say I've ever had it.
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Textured Soy Protein
> StingrayJake
02/04/2015 at 00:44 |
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Think of it as really fatty ice cream with more egg in it, and texture half way between scooped and soft serve. Best eaten fresh out of the machine, but it does pretty well packed into pints.
It's terrible for you, and delicious.
AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Textured Soy Protein
02/04/2015 at 02:03 |
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This while post was just full of mean things. Culver's? Seriously not cool man. Now I have a nasty craving because that is one of my favorite "fast" food chains but they don't have any on the west coast and I have no plans of going anywhere that might have one anytime soon. And I'm a chocolate whore. Cravings left and right here.
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Textured Soy Protein
> AMGtech - now with more recalls!
02/04/2015 at 12:53 |
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Culver's is now all over the Phoenix area. Go to Phoenix.
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AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Textured Soy Protein
02/04/2015 at 13:16 |
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But I don't want to go to Phoenix. I want a Culver's in the PacNW.
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Textured Soy Protein
> AMGtech - now with more recalls!
02/04/2015 at 13:18 |
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Your closest Culver's is in Twin Falls, Idaho .
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AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Textured Soy Protein
02/04/2015 at 16:55 |
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Unfortunately it's probably still an 8-9 hour drive.
I'll take 911 RS for $5000
> Textured Soy Protein
02/05/2015 at 23:39 |
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The closest Culver's to me is 8+ hours and at least 2 states away. I don't like you right now. I may not be jealous of your snow, but I want custard and a butter burger and cheap fried cheese curds.
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Textured Soy Protein
> I'll take 911 RS for $5000
02/05/2015 at 23:52 |
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I actually had Culver's tonight. I restrained myself to a single butter burger and small fries. Which really is plenty.