An Abstract Spectacle of Wealth and Power

"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch) 12/24/2015 at 11:48 • Filed to: dodge viper, ralph gilles, a new promise

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The Viper has actually done us a major service in removing the kind of people who would own a Viper from public society. When the car was announced they appeared unbidden at the gates of Dodge dealerships across the country, rubbing their blood-stained hands against the immaculate window glass until a salesman came outside and taught them how to use a door.

Wild-eyed, these men first attempted to pay for their factory hot rods with clusters of pulled hair and bloody teeth before pulling out inexplicable sums of money from their dragon-like hoard of cash, saturated with the tang of human blood to the point that it dripped crimson trails onto the manicured industrial-estate tile flooring. Innocent salesmen who went along with them for the test drive “for insurance purposes” returned shaken, mute, with white hair and permanently dilated pupils, unable to share their tale of the horrors that ensued on that fateful use of the dealer plate. Normal people would never attend the Dodge dealership to witness these vehicles, being perfectly happy to gaze at them from an aesthetic perspective before plopping down an outsize credit note on lifted minivan after lifted minivan, continuing on with their life and never descending into the kind of purestrain madness that would promote the purchase of a Viper.

Seemingly unemployed, these Viper owners wreaked havoc across the nation, dragging their RT/10s on our highways and byways before locating and docking with the nearest tree to the dealership. Those who survived their high-speed Viper crash were reborn in a baptism of fire, taking these broken men and giving us new, hardened, experienced psychopaths who immediately set out to purchase a second generation Viper when it became available. Despite the Dodge, for years America was helpless, crippled with fear of these dearborists, and our economy collapsed to the point that the Europeans were able to take advantage of our weakened world position, launching savage leveraged takeovers that crippled our most useless corporations, among them the mother of the Viper. The Dodge was struck down, and the Viper was to cease.

The Dodge, under the direction of the Germans, lost its love of terror and spectacle and discontinued the Viper as they instead concentrated on making more lifted minivans to attract the kind of man who would only appreciate the Viper as an abstract spectacle of wealth and power, rather than a direct-engagement three-pedaled suicide machine rendered from brimstone and lubricated with the souls of the damned. The loyalists were lost in the wild, hoarding the few remaining examples from being crashed into trees at high speeds and sequestering them away amongst yachts and period-correct lowboy restorations at a gathering known only as Barrett-Jackson.

Before long the original Viper owner hoard began to thin itself out, and the surviving cars began to depreciate. That’s when they came down from the mountain. Cheap-ass hobbyists. Clutching Weiand blowers and laughing in their odd high pitch, half-panicked, half-aroused as they eyed what was left of their fiberglass-bodied ankle-burning sex machine. The next age of Viper Terror was among us. The kind of man who would originally buy a new Viper became restless, and they swarmed across Wall Street, launching the world into an orgy of high-risk, violent bets that struck out at the common man. In order to sate their desire for adrenalin and property destruction, these men had gained power and cast the world into economic disaster that destroyed even The Dodge they once embraced.

After many more months of darkness, The Dodge returned. A man who had been to hell and back approached the podium. The Gilles told us of a new Viper - a new promise - and that America would soon be unified under an appreciation for the new Viper. Our nation’s psychos would be comfortably ensconced once again in a faux-luxury hot rod that had a predilection for snap oversteer and brutal triple-digit crashes that atomized the occupants of the car.

America was safe. This time we had learned not to fear the Viper, but to fund it with our governments.

Brad D > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 11:54

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Fun read. But...now that Vipers are sub 30k......I feel a whole new breed is going to start abusing these. I still want one, if only for a short period of time.

Seat Safety Switch > Brad D 12/24/2015 at 12:05

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To be fair nobody really has a Viper for a long period of time.

ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 12:13

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There is a guy in my area (Buffalo) that drives it year-round, including in the snow. He has had it for years and I wish very badly that I could meet him and know more about his travels.

TractorPillow > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 12:19

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Ive been daily driving a 2002 for the last few months since I’m moving soon and got rid of my old DD (classic mini). It’s so overrated in the “scary” factor. It’s pretty comfortable, fast, fun, and easy enough to maintain. Cool to own for a while, but won’t have a place in my stable for much longer.

That being said, there are some awesome Viper owners and then there are the stereotypical ones...the ones that really make your article valid.

Brickman > Brad D 12/24/2015 at 12:20

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I say it every time, but I want to make a Baja Viper :D

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 12:21

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Well... Time to browse Craigslist for a small British roadster, a Viper engine and a massive turbo. I may even consider seat belts on this one.

DoYouEvenShift > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 12:26

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Last town I lived in, there is a doctor that DDs a 1st gen GTS. I saw it damn near everyday, and parked all over town. Nice guy too.

Autofixation > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 13:15

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I want one, I want a Viper, not sure if I’ll ever get one but I will always want one.

Zachary B > Seat Safety Switch 12/24/2015 at 13:45

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I know of several long term Viper owners, a few with more than one. Probably not a lot of guys long term DDing one but most aren’t bought for that purpose.

Vic788 > Seat Safety Switch 12/26/2015 at 12:23

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Put the engine in a Jeep Wagoneer. straight pipe it and call it a day best 4X4 one could have :)

aGo > Autofixation 12/27/2015 at 03:52

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You and me both. This is my list of top 10 Dream Cars:

This list can change at the drop of a coin (Except #1, this will always be #1)

1. FD RX-7 and an R34 GT-R (Yes both are tied for #1 and both must be stock)

2. 2005 Ford GT

3. 2016 Shelby GT 350 with all of the track goodies.

4. 2000 SVT Cobra R

5. C7 Corvette with 7 speed manual, magnetorheological suspension, and dry sump oil.

6. 2003/04 SVT Cobra left in original STOCK condition.

7. 2007 Porsche 911 turbo with a manual transmission.

8. Ferrari Testarossa

9. 2009 Aston Martin DBS with a manual transmission. (This should be higher, it probably is.)

10. 1996 Dodge Viper GTS blue with white stripes.

THUNDERL1PS > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 10:42

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God these bloggers try so hard to be clever. I couldn’t get past the first paragraph.

JayHova > Brad D 01/04/2016 at 10:45

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I feel a whole new breed is going to start abusing these.

This article is also valid for Vipers.

Basement Cat > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 10:47

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Why haven’t you written a book yet

GhostZ > TractorPillow 01/04/2016 at 10:49

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It’s like the Lamborghini myth, they’re dangerous because they wreck often, not because they wreck easier.

Birddog > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/04/2016 at 10:54

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Seatbelts? You too good for a milk crate and a hunk of rope? Huh?

Joseph Brocato > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 10:56

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COTD goes to this fragment.

“The Dodge, under the direction of the Germans, lost its love of terror and spectacle and discontinued the Viper as they instead concentrated on making more lifted minivans to attract the kind of man who would only appreciate the Viper as an abstract spectacle of wealth and power, rather than a direct-engagement three-pedaled suicide machine rendered from brimstone and lubricated with the souls of the damned. The loyalists were lost in the wild, hoarding the few remaining examples from being crashed into trees at high speeds and sequestering them away amongst yachts and period-correct lowboy restorations at a gathering known only as Barrett-Jackson.”

Mark Jacob > THUNDERL1PS 01/04/2016 at 11:02

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Have Jeep, will travel. > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:04

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You can make anything scary. When the E30 325e customers traded them in on 325is cars, lots ended up over curbs and into trees, or parked cars, or a ditch. Driving one today, you wonder how its even possible. I’m sure the Toyota Camry has killed more people than a Viper. Afterall, it’s cheap made in far greater numbers and readily available, and people who just learned how to drive usually get them. Dont let percentages and facts cloud the true picture. See how that works? Viper wasn’t a bad car, or really that dangerous. Remember when you could buy a 300-500hp car with drum brakes, bias ply tires, and lap belts to stop you from the metal dash? That was the norm.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Birddog 01/04/2016 at 11:10

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That’s kinda what I meant.

Peptide > THUNDERL1PS 01/04/2016 at 11:13

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Try...and largely fail.

Daryl > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:14

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Peptide > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:14

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Eh...have had three over a period of time, so another fallacy bites the dust.

dataPOG > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/04/2016 at 11:14

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I thought TVRs were out of style?

MrMcQueen21v2 > GhostZ 01/04/2016 at 11:16

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Plus they’re more noteworthy. Nobody bats an eye at “Look at this totalled Camry” - but people will flock to “Viper Crash”

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > dataPOG 01/04/2016 at 11:19

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They might be. I don’t care.

cheapLEY > aGo 01/04/2016 at 11:20

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Number 6 is goddamn near unattainable for anything approaching a reasonable price. Believe me, I’ve been looking.

Nobody left their Terminators stock, and the few that did know that, and demand a premium for theirs because of it. The cheapest one I’ve seen lately was around $25k, but you can find modified Termis for $18k all day long.

MallardDuck > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:22

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The Dodge, under the direction of the Germans, lost its love of terror and spectacle and discontinued the Viper as they instead concentrated on making more lifted minivans to attract the kind of man who would only appreciate the Viper as an abstract spectacle of wealth and power, rather than a direct-engagement three-pedaled suicide machine rendered from brimstone and lubricated with the souls of the damned.

Actually, it wasn’t the Germans that killed the Viper, since the merger ended in 2007 and the Viper was built until 2010. It was the poor financial state the Germans left Chrysler in that killed the Viper.

Forge Crown Victor! > Vic788 01/04/2016 at 11:26

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God bless you sir. God bless your ideas and give thee power to create in thine image the most spectacular piece of engineering badassery this planet has ever seen! Willys/Keiser/AMC/ChryCo/FCA be proud

Forge Crown Victor! > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:31

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The Governements said “yay” and the funding was acquired. Thank god for that, if “nay” much be left desired. Many need comfort grace and poise, but for the Viper all required was tire smoke and noise. A penchant for death, a driver marked with craze. Smiles on the face, saw destruction for days. A wallet empty, a Heart exploded. Faith in The Auto was not imploded.

Illegal Machine > MallardDuck 01/04/2016 at 11:35

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Beat me to it!

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:46

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I have driven a 2002 Viper GTS ACR (With luxury items like air conditioning) For the time (2005) it was quite an unforgiving car.

I wasn’t terrified of it, but I knew that if I went too hard it would be perfectly adept at handling my hijinx until it wasn’t, at which time I would be dead. Same could be said for a few cars. The Viper is in a rare class of cars that have such a high threshold that it’s akin to the sublimation of dry ice going from solid to gas without a liquid phase. The Viper goes from brilliant to death without a warning phase.

The RX-7 was another car that did that as well. 0 warning, dead.

The C5 Z06 by comparison (as was made a ton in the era) would let you know it was being pushed too far but getting a bit slippy and jouncy before going fully uncontrollable. Much easier to know where you were at in that car in terms of its limits.

Fun write up, the apocalyptic imagery is welcomed for a car like this.

Sneaky Pete > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:50

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:p

I rather enjoy my death machine. Viper owners, generally, are pretty cool. I used to own a Mustang. Mustang owners, generally, are douchenozzles.

Seat Safety Switch > PotbellyJoe and 42 others 01/04/2016 at 11:50

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I figure it’s a lot like driving R-compounds, at least a few years ago: you go from street tires, which complain for a long time before losing grip, to R-compounds which might let off a sad squeak at the exact moment they’ve had enough.

You have to pay attention to different senses and more importantly you learned experience, which is I think where the car’s reputation comes from.

Seat Safety Switch > Sneaky Pete 01/04/2016 at 11:52

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Let’s be honest, the Viper is simply a cooler car to start with. There was no TV show about time-travelling transforming Mustangs.

Sneaky Pete > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 11:54

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However, the coolest car in one of the coolest movies ever was a green 68 Mustang Fastback driven by the king of cool, Steve McQueen.

Seat Safety Switch > Sneaky Pete 01/04/2016 at 11:55

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I like your style, and you are totally correct.

Autojunkie > THUNDERL1PS 01/04/2016 at 11:57

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Same here. Overly descriptive words and too many metaphors just within the first paragraph. I couldn’t even finish the first paragraph.

Amateur...

Burnout91 > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:00

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I need one, preferably an o7 hardtop or a second Gen in blue, green or that copper color in the o7s. I’d have to agree with the owner stereotype of being a phycopath. Who else would want one of these if they didn’t have a death wish, I guess this includes me but then again I gave up sanity long time ago.

NeonBlaqk > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:01

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Actually, I lubricate my non-Viper FCA car with the souls of the damned too. See, when you own an Italian car, you will do anyhing to hedge your bet on its lifespan, satanic pacts included.

KyleBrand > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:04

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Best. Article. Ever.

ForScience: Technically Within Spec is Best Kind of In Spec > THUNDERL1PS 01/04/2016 at 12:11

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And yet here you are to let us know exactly how you feel...

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:12

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Didn't we see a guy selling a Viper coupe sans powertrain here not long ago? Here's a donor candidate, of the safer (?) lower-hp variety.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:14

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It's too early on the 1st day back from Xmas vaca to read anything so deep and insightful. I'm just not willing to engage the cerebral matter to appreciate this. Get back to me around, uh... Wednesday.

cooperquinn_wy > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:20

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Lemons Viper, anyone?

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:22

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Agreed on working within your own experience.

When the new GTO came out, there was a waiting list at my local Pontiac store. The first 4 names on that list died in their GTOs. Skinny tires (compared to previous Firebird/Camaro tires) more power and IRS on top of a few other differences for handling were very new feelings to these guys and they were clearly a little too excited for their new cars.

The GTO doesn’t carry the “Be Feared” label.

webmonkees > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:28

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Yes.

Mopar4life > aGo 01/04/2016 at 12:29

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Far too many Mustangs on that list.

Burger-Lord > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 12:30

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a direct-engagement three-pedaled suicide machine rendered from brimstone and lubricated with the souls of the damned.

Brilliant.

Mopar4life > Have Jeep, will travel. 01/04/2016 at 12:31

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Many people thought my Spirit was scary. That was 252hp/273ft-lbs in a 2700 lb car.

dannyzabolotny > Brad D 01/04/2016 at 12:42

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I can’t wait until they get into the sub $10k range ;)

Have Jeep, will travel. > Mopar4life 01/04/2016 at 12:50

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Exactly.

Bronx Resident Benjamin White > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 13:03

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So, should I read this as narrated by James Earl Jones, or Morgan Freeman?

Seat Safety Switch > Bronx Resident Benjamin White 01/04/2016 at 13:05

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Either would be awesome.

Jess > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 13:05

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I’ve tried on several occasions to like one enough to buy it, and it’s gotten easier to over the generations/improvements, but never enough to do so. It always feels too “agricultural” to me. Brutish and crude, tons of grip but little finesse.

lingenfelter > Have Jeep, will travel. 01/04/2016 at 13:08

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Agreed, but it is such a desparity from the “average car” of the Gen-1 days, things like (355?) wide tires and high torque make for unique driving traits that people may not have been as prepared for as they should have been.

lingenfelter > Jess 01/04/2016 at 13:10

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But that’s the whole charm of the car. If you don’t want a brutish experience, the Viper isn’t for you... at least, not the first generations.

BOSdriver > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 13:11

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So that is why the new Viper didn’t sell; the old one killed off the crazy buyers.

lingenfelter > ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback 01/04/2016 at 13:11

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Does he keep extra pairs of brown pants in the trunk?

ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback > lingenfelter 01/04/2016 at 13:23

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I’d imagine he has several.

IGetPwnedOften > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 13:34

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That was beautiful, almost poetic.

Great use of language, good job :-)

Rickster3rd ¯\_()_/¯ > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 13:37

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If that engine and tranny are intact I say buy it from the insurance company and pop it into a late model Charger or Challenger. Home made Hellcat for a fraction of the price.

NasalRadiator911 > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 13:39

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I’ve owned 2 Vipers, and tracked the Hennessey frequently. Anyone with a modicum of ability can drive it just fine, and there are many owners that can drive the hell out of it. I’m in the just fine category I suppose.

MoparMap > TractorPillow 01/04/2016 at 14:11

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I daily my 04 as well and tend to agree with you. It’s only scary in that its limits are so far beyond what you should be doing on the street that you’re pretty much guaranteed to hurt yourself if you do end up doing something wrong. This is not the car you hammer the throttle around a corner on to impress your friends. It’s plenty comfortable to me being a slimmer frame and super easy to maintain. I differ however in that I don’t think I’d ever be able to sell it. It’s just part of me now. Pretty much all my cars are like that. I get attached to them with all the work I do on them and the time I spend driving.

I also agree that there are many Viper owners who are some of the coolest people on the planet. There will always be some bad seeds, but in three years of ownership they have been the exception and not the rule.

calcifer302 > Forge Crown Victor! 01/04/2016 at 14:51

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That was the most beautiful thing i ever read

Steve Ransom > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 14:58

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RT/10s never appealed to me, so good riddance?

MarkoftheIsland > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/04/2016 at 15:14

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I am picturing a bug-eyed Sprite with a Viper engine wedged into it.

PoopThrower > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 15:30

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Please stop writing articles.

Afro-Man > Sneaky Pete 01/04/2016 at 15:34

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God, I’m so jealous. Just perfect.

Racekar > MallardDuck 01/04/2016 at 15:37

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The Germans saved Chrysler, the 300 is a reworked W210, and is the basis of the Charger and the Chalenger, there best rated and profitable vehicles. The Grand Cherokee and Durango ar ML’s under the skin. Without MB’s designs they would still be selling K cars, it’s true that Mercedes dident give them the best stuff but they did give then better quality products to sell. You think there better under Fiat?

Sneaky Pete > Afro-Man 01/04/2016 at 16:05

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You can find RT/10s for mid 20s and GTS for low to mid 30s now. Seems like they’ve bottomed out though.

Sneaky Pete > dannyzabolotny 01/04/2016 at 16:13

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They won’t, unless you buy a salvage. Prices seem to have bottomed out.

Sneaky Pete > PotbellyJoe and 42 others 01/04/2016 at 16:15

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02 also had another fancy luxury item the pre-2001 cars did not - ABS.

Sneaky Pete > Burnout91 01/04/2016 at 16:18

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You’re gonna have a hell of a time finding an 07 Viper of any kind...

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > MarkoftheIsland 01/04/2016 at 16:44

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I was thinking TVR, but yeah. Something like that.

Forge Crown Victor! > calcifer302 01/04/2016 at 16:48

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Not as beautiful as the article that proceeded it but i humbly accept your compliment and graciously thank you

MarkoftheIsland > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/04/2016 at 17:30

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A TVR would be an easier fit. I was trying to figure out how much you’d have to stretch the front end of a Sprite to fit it in. It would end up looking really odd if you had to add much to it.

none8239487234 > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 17:52

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Only one problem with this article. When the Viper first came out you did not get to test drive them like other cars on the lot let alone actually sit in one. They were almost always locked with a “do not touch” sign on them. If you did get to drive the car it was after you signed all the paperwork and paid a substantial sum above the sticker price.

I get the idea that the author does not really have a good idea why people like Vipers. The Viper is such a great car because it was such a bad car. Much like an early Lamborghini without the styling people bought these cars because they were scary. Even the name is a warning and feeds into the fear factor. The Viper. A snake that will bite you. Car’s don’t have to be logical or have a use in order to be enjoyed. You would think an author on a car website would get that and not put such a negative tone towards a group of owners they don’t understand.

Not everyone is looking for a fuel efficient safe “sporty” car. Some people want unhinged and the Viper delivers that well. Jeremy Clarkson described the car as “An Axe Murderer”. As long as you keep that in mind and treat the car with respect it provides amazing smiles per hour.

aGo > Mopar4life 01/04/2016 at 20:19

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I like Cobras.

aGo > cheapLEY 01/04/2016 at 20:21

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OMG I know. All the ones that I have found when I had the opportunity to buy one all had the IRS swapped to a Solid Axle. That is why I really, really, really like the new GT 350. I don’t like the GT’s because they have the MT82 six speed and I want the TR6060. I am picky. My 2011 5.0 had a shitty MT82 so I got rid of it.

MallardDuck > Racekar 01/04/2016 at 20:28

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You seem like a troll, but I’ll bite. You missed at least a decade there between K-cars and the DaimlerChrysler merger.

When Daimler merged with Chrysler, they were making $1 billion per quarter and they had $12 billion in the bank., which was completely stripped by Daimler. At the time of the merger, Chrysler was flying high from the LH car, which were ahead of their time, the cloud cars, and even the minivan and Neon were doing well in their segments. Chrysler was doing research in hybrids, alternative fuels, and composite body panels and structures.

When Daimler came around, they completely stopped all advanced development at Chrysler, because this was supposed to be Daimler’s job. They siphoned off Chrysler’s cash and cheapened all of their product. The product launched under the Daimler era was abysmal, aside from the LX vehicles (although their original interiors were very cheap and a 2.7L V6?? Really?!) The Pacifica and PT Cruiser were ahead of their time too, but already on the drawing board before Daimler had any influence. Apparently, so were the LX vehicles but Daimler forced them to use some of their components later in the design phase.

For all the BS you want to spout, the LX is not a reused Mercedes platform, although they did use some of their components, like the rear suspension cradle, steering rack, some electronics, and the A580 5 speed trans. The LX cars are not an old E-Class riding around with a new top-hat.

Even the M-Class/WK2 Grand Cherokee platform sharing ended in disaster, with little being common. ( http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/04/the-tr… )

Chrysler would be better off today if they had never sold to Daimler. The Daimler merger was a disaster that left the company in shambles, with very little cash, no advanced development, and cheap, crappy product. Cerberus had no idea what they were getting into and the bankruptcy quickly followed. Given the climate under Daimler, YES they are 100% better off paired with FIAT. The company has rebuilt many key areas of the business, hired thousands of American workers, launched their best product in 10 years, and are profitable. Jeep sold ONE MILLION FUCKING UNITS worldwide last year!

ViperGuy21 > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 20:54

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Unfortunately, your article has validity concerning some owners. However, the majority of the ones I have met are not the jack-headed idiots that everyone pictures they are. Most are just pure car enthusiasts who want a pure, unadulterated driving experience

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > Seat Safety Switch 01/04/2016 at 22:30

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This is art.

Echo51 > MarkoftheIsland 01/05/2016 at 02:24

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And it’ll probably sit on literal wedges. Preferably cut out of the old oak you have in the backyard.

Mopar4life > aGo 01/05/2016 at 07:06

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All just Mustangs to me.

Like what you like though.

RabidWombat88 > Seat Safety Switch 01/05/2016 at 12:04

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This picture saddens me greatly. Poor R/T 10 Roadster... :’(

Seat Safety Switch > RabidWombat88 01/05/2016 at 12:05

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But that engine could live on in something else!

Burnout91 > Sneaky Pete 01/05/2016 at 16:17

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Actually no they’re quite easy to find outside of craigslist. I know I’ve looked and still do to watch the prices, finding one cheap right now that’s a different story.

Sneaky Pete > Burnout91 01/05/2016 at 16:22

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Actually, no.

There’s no such thing as a 2007 Viper. They skipped that year. Gen III was 2003-2006, Gen IV was 2008-2010.

offyatindy > Seat Safety Switch 01/05/2016 at 16:35

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When I read your work, I hear it read in the voice of Romanian poet/novelist, NPR commentator Andrei Codrescu. Maybe you are him? Or maybe you are a her? Maybe you have an eastern European accent? I’m usually not an audio book kind of guy, but would love to hear your work in the spoken word - other than the spoken word in my head.

Seat Safety Switch > offyatindy 01/05/2016 at 16:49

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I’m afraid I haven’t listened to NPR enough to know of Codrescu (I am a Canadian) but I will definitely check him out, thanks!

offyatindy > Seat Safety Switch 01/05/2016 at 18:08

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I just recalled, he also wrote/narrated/starred in a 1993 documentary called Road Scholar, in which he crossed the country in a red Cadillac convertible. It might be available on Netflix or similar outlet. No guarantee it’s a good movie because I just can’t remember the early 1990s (not a drug reference; I’m just old), but it must feature his droll wit and Eastern European accent.

Seat Safety Switch > offyatindy 01/05/2016 at 18:12

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I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks!

Burnout91 > Sneaky Pete 01/05/2016 at 20:54

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Damn I forgot that lol, thanks for reminding me. Ok well then change 07 to 08 and my comments makes sense.

Rick Brasche > Seat Safety Switch 01/07/2016 at 17:48

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got to borrow one for an afternoon. Was not scared. It, like the GTO, Vette or other torquey RWD beasts, still only does what you ask of it.

Still haven’t found a car to scare me that I have been able to drive. Ridden too many bikes with a much higher power/weight ratio and even less traction available to really feel fear in anything with doors and a roof.

Vic788 > Forge Crown Victor! 01/08/2016 at 17:37

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I’d have to do it in 2wd with pt4wd as that would rip the 4wd system up.........btw strait pipe meaning like this

I’d like to get a Fiat 500 and drop a 4.0 V6 in the back and + hell cat supercharger and turboed........600+hp fiat 500......+awd.....and to shut up the enviro people P-HEV setup for the front wheels to drive it ..........:)

PyramidHat > Have Jeep, will travel. 01/09/2016 at 08:17

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Is that 325is story real? I'd never heard that... Why were there so many issues?

Have Jeep, will travel. > PyramidHat 01/09/2016 at 11:57

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Yes, you have to realize that what that car was in its day. People coming from a 325e or 318, or a 190e hopped into a new manual 325I with a LSD and it was a rocket in comparison.

MGme > Seat Safety Switch 05/09/2016 at 15:05

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This .. is in Jalopnik? WTF?