Kik?

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 12/09/2015 at 17:41 • Filed to: None

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My 13-year-old is asking if he can start using this new messaging app (“All the other kids have it”) but after just a little reading, it looks to this fuddy duddy dad that it could be a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Do any of you have any experience with this app? Thanks.

pjhusa > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:46

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No. I'm 13 too, and let's just say that I don't want to.

Montalvo > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:48

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It’s just like any other social site really there is good and bad to all of them and that largely depends on who you hang out with. Most of what I have seen though has been fairly rachet and ghetto.

Zerofret > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:48

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as a videographer, I know that others in the same field use it as a networking tool. But knowing teenagers (and since I’ve been one myself) it’s used for ‘dem things the kids call “dick pics” 90% of the time...

Textured Soy Protein > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:49

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When I was a kid in the mid 90s, I would habitually sign up for AOL free trials with my parents’ credit cards and cancel them before the 30 days ran out so it would never show up on the credit card bill.

My mom once walked in on me using the family computer to talk in the AOL MTV chat room. She for some reason believed that MTV was a huge corrupting influence on kids, so the fact that I was doing some weird online chat thing and it had something to do with MTV meant that I was immediately going to burst into flames, or something. Somehow, I managed to use this occasion to talk my parents into signing up for regular non-AOL dialup internet because it would be better than AOL.

Anyway, point is there’s always going to be some online thing that has potential for kids to get into trouble with. Rather than trying to forbid the kid from using one specific app, it would make more sense to have a conversation with them about the kind of dangerous people out there on the internet in general, and how to avoid bad things happening.

ttyymmnn > Montalvo 12/09/2015 at 17:49

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As a fuddy duddy dad, I’ll have to assume that I know what ratchet and ghetto means.

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:49

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I used to use Kik and Text Plus back in middle school when my parents did not let me text with my cellphone. Here in college, non-phone-text messaging is definitely the future and it’ll be great to let him start using it. Kik is the messaging that people at college use to send anonymous contact information like on Yik Yak as a way to get questionable things from other students without revealing who they really are. SOOOOO. Messaging app. Useful. I don’t see a problem with it if he follows the “Don’t add or talk to strangers” speech my parents gave me.

bob and john > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:49

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yea i’ve used it.
that + yik-yak is a great way of getting laid XD

joking aside, think of it kinda like a whats app or MSN messenger (remember that one?)

its not so bad. but I dont really see the point behind it when I could, you know, text someone....

ttyymmnn > Zerofret 12/09/2015 at 17:50

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I’ve been doing some reading, and what concerns me is the ability to contact people anonymously, send anonymous messages that could easily be used for bullying, and that if a parent tries to log into the kids account from another device it deletes all the messages. That’s not a good thing.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:50

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Kik’s not new, my friend. Been around forever (at least a few years, which is forever in the app world). Basically just a normal messinging app, you need to know someone's user name in order to message them. No different than snapchat except the chat doesn't disappear.

Zerofret > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:52

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yeah, once you log out all the messages are gone. Honestly, if I was a parent I wouldn’t let my kid use it. It’s just a wormhole for nothing good.

Nibby > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:52

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Ratchet isn’t something you want your 13 year told to say about others.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?ter…

Heard a 12 year old girl (now 13) call her mother “ratchet.” She’s one of the most pleasant and sweet people you’d ever meet. Just told her what a great mom my cousin is (bias aside)

Montalvo > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:52

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Half of it is just “ey girl can I add u on kik?”

Jcarr > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:54

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My son just asks if he can play with his crayons or have more milk. I do not look forward to the kind of future requests you speak of.

ttyymmnn > Textured Soy Protein 12/09/2015 at 17:55

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We are having that conversation. Don’t worry. Thanks, though.

ttyymmnn > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 12/09/2015 at 17:56

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Well, it’s new to us, so, new. Thanks.

jariten1781 > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:56

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It’s basically just blackberry messenger with a different account/ecosystem. Let’s you send texts/pictures over data instead of SMS. No more no less.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the scare article you linked...it’s no more anonymous than message boards or...say IRC and AIM chat rooms back in the day (in fact, from what I understand from talking to my niece...that’s basically what they use it for...AOL chatrooms)

That’s not saying you should open that door, just that the article is catastrophizing it a ton. Put it this way...would you let her sign up for an internet message board that allows PMs? If yes, then I don’t think this is a big deal...if ‘not yet’ then keep her off it.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 17:58

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It doesn’t really seem all that different from other chat/social media apps. I know I’m getting old because I don’t give a damn about this stuff anymore and I actually had to look this up on Wikipedia to figure out what it is. What I’ve read about it seems to suggest it’s a bit more lax on privacy and that strangers can message anyone anonymously.

The way I see it, kids are using this kind of stuff at a young age (when I was thirteen years old all I used was MSN messenger and very few people actually had digital cameras) so I think it’s important to sit down with them to go over some basic rules which are common sense to us, but may not be for kids. They’re at that age where even if your kid is well-behaved and smart, he/she could easily be talking with other kids around his age who may be a bit more “advanced” in some ways (I’m not talking intelligence, but reckless adventurousness).

If you really don’t believe in it, then do the fatherly thing and say no, but they'll start using this kind of thing eventually whether your permission has been granted or not.

razjm > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:05

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Dear fuddy-duddy dad type: as someone who grew up with technology, and who still uses it both recreationally and professionally every day, I’d like to talk to you for a moment.

When I was younger than your child is now, I was using BBSes. Despite our lack of money, my parents’ bartering skills (entirely on the up-and-up, I promise) ensured that we had some personal computers in the home when the majority of people didn’t even think about them.

Consequently, and via phone lines, I was communicating with what were overwhelmingly adult individuals. Neither of my parents knew what I was doing, nor how I was doing it, and the Internet as we know it did not exist, so the fear of predators did not either—not for them. Likewise, it would have been comparatively ridiculous to expect law enforcement to do anything about any crime that would occur, as you’d be fortunate to get an officer who could turn a computer on, not to mention do anything else with it.

Nonetheless, this contributed greatly to my love of technology, and professional pursuits. I continued tinkering with computers, configuring personal home networks, and so on, so forth, on through the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s. Today, I work for a Fortune 100 Best company. The projects I contribute to connect millions of people on a daily basis. Many of them, surely, are as young as I was in the beginning of my story, or are the same age as your child is now.

I do not encourage paranoia in relation to technology. I did know about “stranger danger,” and I did not meet anyone I had met online until I was in my mid-teens. This was with my parents’ authorization, and their talking to that other teenager’s parents. We were, by all means, the equivalent then of what a child with a smart phone is today—though perhaps more so, if I may toot my own horn, considering the extent of what we were capable of.

My parents were never able to read a thing. They still would not know how to, even though some of my bulletin board conversations were archived, and are still accessible in very remote, dusty, forgotten corners of the modern Internet. Yet, because I understood otherwise how to be safe, I am here today.

Let’s say, though, that you are still uncertain. In that case, it would be good to educate yourself as well. Start using the program yourself. Unlike the BBSes I used in Ye Olden Days, the messaging platform you’re talking about is extremely user friendly. Bother your child every now and then to ensure they’re all right. Worried still? Consider a permanent background program that allows phone location. Understand, too, that television shows which say “they have to stay on the call for us to trace them!” are full of it—that’s not true, as it is in fact much easier to track down a device than that, so long as it’s on.

And while we’re on the “so long as it’s on” part, why not get a rechargeable battery pack that your child can charge their phone with while out and about? They’ll surely love it, and you’ll have peace of mind if something unfortunate does happen—though it’s more likely it won’t.

Sincerely,
A once nerdy child who has become a thoroughly nerdy adult.

Tohru > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:06

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KIK is to this generation what Yahoo! chat rooms were to mine. A sketchy place to talk to people claiming to be in your age group and engage in cybersex.

And before he asks, Snapchat is for nudes.

ttyymmnn > gin-san - shitpost specialist 12/09/2015 at 18:07

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If you really don’t believe in it, then do the fatherly thing and say no, but they’ll start using this kind of thing eventually whether your permission has been granted or not.

Except that “his” phone is my phone, and he doens’t know the password to download apps. If there were no other way for him to chat, then that would be one thing. But he’s got a perfectly good messaging app on the phone. It is very much a teaching moment, but one of the lessons is that just because other kids have things, doesn’t mean that he can have the same things.

Baeromez > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:08

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It’s just a messaging app. It poses no greater risk to your kids than Facebook, Twitter, text messages, cell phones, carrier pigeons, The United States Postal Service, rotary phones, the entire internet, passing notes in class, smoke signals, whispering during a movie, or 2 cans tied to a string.

The media is a fear-mongering business, and every time a new technology emerges they’re going to try to scare you with it.

Montalvo > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:08

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I’d try to push groupme as an alternative, definitely a bit more secure and it actually came in handy for group projects. Chances are if your kid wants kik bad enough its going to happen though, welcome to the digital age.

ttyymmnn > Tohru 12/09/2015 at 18:09

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I have never used Snapchat, I don’t have a Facebook account (neither does my son). It’s definitely getting harder for parents to keep up with kids these days. But his phone is really my phone, and he uses it with my permission and I have the app download password. I will likely say no, but he will definitely know why.

ttyymmnn > Montalvo 12/09/2015 at 18:12

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Except that his phone is really my phone, and he doesn’t know the password to download apps.

ttyymmnn > Baeromez 12/09/2015 at 18:14

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We don’t Twit, nor do we Facebook. And the liklihood of someone sending me anonymous dick pics on my cell phone or through Apple Messages is pretty remote. Yes, the media can be fear mongering, but as a parent, I have to find information from all sources (including Oppo) and filter it for the best information.

Sneaky Pete > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:17

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Serious question-the hell does a 13 year old need a cell phone for?

Sovereign, Purveyor of Coupes > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:21

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I use kik to group message my friends, and I’ve never had a random stranger add me or send me a chat or anything, so anything said over kik would likely be said in social groups, etc. Of course always in the end it’s your decision to make as a parent, but as someone who was recently a teenager at the dawn of social media, be careful it doesn’t turn into a “forbidden fruit” type situation like MySpace was for me. I eventually figured out a way to get it and hid it from my parents. When technology is involved, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

ttyymmnn > Sneaky Pete 12/09/2015 at 18:22

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That’s a good question. But since he rides the bus and stays late for school, we figured it was appropriate.

iSureWilll > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:23

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As others have said, it’s a messaging app. It’s only anonymous in the sense that it’s not like Facebook. Anyone on the Internet will be subject to “bullies” and the occasional dick pic unless you distance yourself from things like that. If your son is only messaging people from school that he knows then there shouldn't be an issue. Just have a talk with him about how it should be used.

ttyymmnn > Sovereign, Purveyor of Coupes 12/09/2015 at 18:25

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Thanks for the reply. No decisions will be made rashly, and in a day or two, it may all be water under the bridge. As a kid (we’re talking 70s and 80s here), we never kept up with the Joneses, and I never had the coolest stuff. I’m not saying that my kid will be that way because I was, but I also don’t believe that just because Johnny has it my son has to have it. It’s definitely a different world for those who grew up with tech and those who didn’t. Hell, I was in grad school before I got on the Internet for the first time.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:25

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My mistake, I was under the impression that he had his own phone. In this case, it’s your rules regardless, and you’re definitely right in that what others kids do has no bearing on what he’s able to do (something that I experienced often while growing up).

There’s plenty of other ways to chat, so he’ll get over it.

pjhusa > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:30

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Oh, and I just thought about this, maybe your kid should try out Oppo!

ttyymmnn > pjhusa 12/09/2015 at 18:32

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Not a bad idea!

ttyymmnn > gin-san - shitpost specialist 12/09/2015 at 18:34

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There’s plenty of other ways to chat, so he’ll get over it.

My point exactly. But it’s also a teaching momemt, for both of us, most importantly for him to know how some people misuse technology. He hasn’t experienced that yet, nor does he know much about it.

Parth985 > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:42

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No don’t let him we are trying get my friends cousin off of this he has become a full pervert due this app he keeps sexting random people and he is now hooked to the phone doing perverted things... It’s become some “my strange addiction” on tlc levels shit

ttyymmnn > Parth985 12/09/2015 at 18:48

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That’s too bad. It seems that these sorts of apps, while they probably won’t turn somebody into pervert, make it very easy for those who already have that predilection to go overboard. I hope your friend’s cousin gets some help before he ends up in PMITA prison.

pjhusa > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 18:52

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We could sure expand the next generation of Opponauts.

pjhusa > Parth985 12/09/2015 at 18:53

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That's... uh, I won't comment.

CB > Sneaky Pete 12/09/2015 at 19:17

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I got my first cell phone when I was thirteen or so because I was always out and about (biking, busing, other assorted adventure nonsense), and it was difficult for my two sisters and I to share one “emergency” cell phone when we were all doing different things.

Then again, mine was a flip-phone (never forget the V361), so my parents didn’t have to worry about this app nonsense.

yamahog > Sneaky Pete 12/09/2015 at 19:24

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I was 12 when I got mine. Dad bought it for me because he was tired of having to call my mother’s house and deal with her and her shitbag second husband every time he wanted to talk to his children ¯\(°_o)/¯

desertdog5051 > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 19:25

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Just glad my kids grew up before all this kink and perverted stuff.

scoob > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 19:34

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Every time I see someone asking for someone else’s Kik, it’s always either a teenage boy spouting hormones everywhere or an older creep, both hitting on girls.

As long as your son is talking to his friends and his friends only, then theoretically it should be ok. Also since you said it’s your phone, you should be able to know what he’s doing, especially if you’re using it and you get notifications or something.

Like someone else said, just speak to him about the dangers.

Pokesmot > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 19:35

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One thing that wasn’t mentioned is the fact that new message from a new person gets you a notification but the message and its content isn’t displayed. You have to choose to accept their chat request

Under_Score > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 20:06

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I use it to talk to some of my friends. I receive coupon spam, but I’ve never gotten a “Hey (Under_score) before.” As long as he only talks to his friends, he should be good. I didn’t know Kik was that bad, being totally honest.

ttyymmnn > desertdog5051 12/09/2015 at 21:01

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You're lucky. I'm glad I grew up before it, but I'm bummed that I have to deal with it. My son will find out about it soon enough, but no 13-year-old should have to learn to cope with this crap.

twinturbobmw > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 21:01

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I’ve used kik for a couple years since I know a lot of people don’t have access to free messaging, and use this as an alternative. There are really no dangers that you would find with this that you wouldn’t find with nearly every other messaging app if he’s using it correctly, i.e., texting friends and people he knows at school. One thing the app does however if provides easier access to group chats with users you have no affiliation with. I would say advise him to take appropriate precautions if he is invited to or finds group chats, however if you trust him enough, it really won’t be much different from normal texting.

desertdog5051 > ttyymmnn 12/09/2015 at 22:07

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Totally agree. Sometimes, it is a sad world in which we live.

Tohru > Baeromez 12/10/2015 at 00:15

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I would say the USPS is a greater risk. After all, a cellphone app can’t run you over with an ancient RHD Subaru Legacy.