A Couple Guys at Work are Talking Cars

"CounterTorqueSteer" (countertorquesteer)
10/20/2015 at 17:31 • Filed to: None

Highlights of their conversation so far: “I’m looking in to getting a smart car. They are made by Mercedes and have really sweet rims. They get close to 300 MPG.” Also, “All cars take the same battery right?”

DISCUSSION (27)

C62030 > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:34

My mid-engined, rotary Ford F-150 also gets close to that MPG. I think the Smart’s built more for track times than mileage. It got around the Norbargrung in under four minutes.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:35

And you work at a car dealership, right?

CounterTorqueSteer > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
10/20/2015 at 17:36

I used to work at a Porsche dealership, but I currently work at Verizon Digital Media Services. The social change is...massive.

HammerheadFistpunch > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
10/20/2015 at 17:36

HA! Stump the salesman used to be more fun when it wasn’t so easy.

PanchoVilleneuve ST > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:39

That was my reaction when someone told me I’m not a real enthusiast because I don’t want a BMW.

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:40

Semi-related, but I’m always slightly annoyed by people who like cars but whose tastes are limited to Porsches, Lamborghinis, and Ferraris exclusively. One of my favorite things about Oppo is that everyone accepts just about every type of car.

More related, I sat next a kid in 6th grade Spanish who insisted his dad’s Civic could go 200 MPH.

CounterTorqueSteer > Van Man, rocks the Man Van
10/20/2015 at 17:42

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with liking the smart car. It’s the misinformation that gets me.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:44

Kinja'd!!!

Yes, this is a car you buy for the rims. wat

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:46

They only get like 39 on the highway and require 91 octane.

GhostZ > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:46

While there is an electric smart car, it gets ~100 MPGe.

They probably saw an article about the VW concept, thought it was a smart car (fuck, the article could have called it a VW “smart” car concept) saw “300 MPG” and just didn’t actually read anything.

GhostZ > PanchoVilleneuve ST
10/20/2015 at 17:47

This is the fucking worst. “Oh you like cars? My dad drives a new BMW, isn’t that cool?” as if I should be impressed.

Frenchlicker > HammerheadFistpunch
10/20/2015 at 17:49

Are you insinuating that car salesmen don't actually know the product they are selling?! I am chagrined and bewildered sir.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:52

UUUGH. It is hard listing to non enthusiasts talk cars. Especially when the ACT as though the either ARE in fact enthusiasts, or that they know more about cars than Wiki-frickin-pedia.

Some of the most cringe worthy things I’ve heard.

a 17 year old son of a friend of mine. “I really want a Pontiac Vibe, they’re really fast, and some are AWD, so it’s like big, a cheap, Subaru STI.”

A fellow salesmen when I worked at a Ford/Chrysler dealership. “The Dodge Avenger is a sports car.” He actually said this more than once, including saying it to customers...ugh. When he said it to me I literally laughed in his face. and provided a more accurate description “four door, FWD, automatic, economy car, that usually come with an inadequate 4 cylinder, but also happens to be available with a pretty good V6.

BorkBorkBjork > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 17:58

Good old AVGN. Jame’s Monster Madness is an October staple.

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 18:01

I didn’t say anything about smarts...

But you're right about misinformation.

Xyl0c41n3 > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
10/20/2015 at 18:03

This!

But it says “Smart” and it’s so tiny, so it MUST be more fuel efficient, right? Too bad it handles atrociously and the shifting is janky as hell. Meanwhile, I can fill up my Fiesta with 87 octane, get the same MPG, and have more cargo (and passenger) space for several thousand dollars less than a Smart Fortwo.

But dem Smart rims, doe!

PanchoVilleneuve ST > BorkBorkBjork
10/20/2015 at 18:07

His videos on the Hammer Dracula movies are incredible.

jester74 > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 18:08

That’s awful. I drive a 67 Beetle and everytime I drive it to work, I hear story after story of “my dad owned blah, I used to have”, etc. While I don’t normally mind the car talk, I definitely mind the guy who comes and says “Yeah, I’ve been thinking of getting one” and then the endless procession of questions that follow. ‘Are they hard to work on?’ ‘Do parts cost a lot?’ ‘Would you go with me to look at one?’ and on and on and on.

wiffleballtony > PanchoVilleneuve ST
10/20/2015 at 18:21

I had a former coworker who had a 335. Which was always in the shop. Cared more about outward appearances than anything else. Told me I should ditch my light weight 18s for 20s because they looked better.

Laurence > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 18:23

I hate and love it when people do this; there’s some kids on a bus I take who have a slight but fairly recent interest in cars, and know almost nothing at all; here’s a few of my favorites;

“Look at that new BMW [i8] it’s an Audi R8 with a BMW badge”

“Stance makes cars faster”

“Don’t you have a Vauxhall Hyundai?”

(In response to cars with fart cannon exhausts) “that civic is great, I bet it’s so fast”

There’s hundreds of others I can’t remember or need too much context to explain as well as these.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 19:13

There is a guy at my work who insists his 01 vr6 Jetta, which is stock save for the tackiest aftermarket wing I’ve ever seen, not only gets 45 mpg, but is also faster and better appointed than my S600. A twin turbo V12 luxury sedan. His reasoning is because his is German . Wut

Axial > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 19:51

Kinja'd!!!

My reaction when an article on Lockheed’s employee site says things like “our engineers have figured out how to break the laws of physics” and “scatter the particles of the laser beam.”

Like...what?

Eggplant > CounterTorqueSteer
10/20/2015 at 20:54

Be glad they didn’t engage you on this. You’d lose IQ points just by being in their proximity.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Van Man, rocks the Man Van
10/20/2015 at 21:35

I’ve kind of wondered - how hard would it be to get a Civic to actually go that fast? I’m guessing a LS series engine, rear wheel drive conversion to start.

Wacko > C62030
10/20/2015 at 23:28

So it finally beat the porcheahs time from the last track day there.

C62030 > Wacko
10/21/2015 at 11:09

Yeah, but it’s still not as fast as the LaFernerner.

Justin T. Westbrook > CounterTorqueSteer
10/24/2015 at 22:18

Anybody who asks me what I do knows nothing about Jalopnik. How the hell am I supposed to feel good about myself? Brag? I WANT TO BRAG, DAMMIT.