"500dollarvan" (500dollarvan)
10/16/2015 at 17:46 • Filed to: $500, Van, $500 Van, hood scoop, power, bullshit, jalopnik, dodge, caravan, nissan, axxess, minivan, baller
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"500dollarvan" (500dollarvan)
10/16/2015 at 17:46 • Filed to: $500, Van, $500 Van, hood scoop, power, bullshit, jalopnik, dodge, caravan, nissan, axxess, minivan, baller | 36
| 7 |
Friends of the Van!! We, the dudes of the $500 Van, would like to introduce you to some of the modifications we have made to our pride and joy. This video centers around the Van’s hood scoop, which can only be described as…..bitchin.
Video Companion Guide:
Follow our impressive logic here. Fast cars have hood scoops. Therefore hood scoop=fast. Now our van with its lowly 2.4 liter 4 cylinder just wasn’t cutting it in the speed department. Obviously power is of paramount importance. Our suspension is shot, the brakes are questionable at best and above 20mph the wind noise is deafening (Damn you kids and your Steel Reserve). However, this would all be tolerable with the power-gain from a bitchin hood scoop.
Using complicated algorithms and computations we have determined that adding our hood scoop would add at least 5hp at the crank. Therefore 138hp (supposed) +lying= 143hp. 143hp is most definitely bitchin.
The Hood Scoop:
We decided to take the plunge one afternoon while at Home Depot. This involved a tense and serious argument over which type of HVAC elbow worked best. Was it the large circular one or the elbow that was 3 feet across??? After much petulant child-like bickering amongst ourselves we decided on the beauty you know as our hood scoop. We ultimately settled on this particular HVAC elbow because it was only $5. We are cheap, too cheap to even buy a $1.50 coffee to take a piss at McDonalds. We piss in the parking lot!
So there you have it, $5 HVAC duct elbow, some liquid nails and self-tapping screws (and the lying) and we can claim to have added 5hp to our van.
Please note that no hole was cut in the hood at any time to preserve resale value
Take a look at this video if you don’t yet know the bliss that is the $500 Van
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
As always, in the name of self promotion, hit us up on Facebook /500dollarvan and on the other social medias at @500dollarvan
YouTube !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Let us know what you want to hear about the Van! Hate mail is also welcome, that shit is fun ... (haven’t gotten any yet, so internet Trolls step it up)
Crazydrives12
> 500dollarvan
10/16/2015 at 17:49 |
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Ha “hood scoop + lying = 5hp” im pretty sure I remember that from Algebra 2 class
Turbobuick
> 500dollarvan
10/16/2015 at 17:56 |
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Lollllll any chance of getin one of these on my Buick lesabre?
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500dollarvan
> Turbobuick
10/16/2015 at 17:58 |
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For a fancy car like that, you might need to visit Lowes! Although if you want to come over we can grab some HVAC and screw it onto your hood. Just bring beer and liquid nails.
Nuts4vannin
> 500dollarvan
10/16/2015 at 18:11 |
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Dang, wasn’t the toilet enough? Sweet scoop though bros
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Rearviewbimmer
> 500dollarvan
10/16/2015 at 18:44 |
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Um but why though?
Hondahounddog
> 500dollarvan
10/17/2015 at 15:19 |
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That exhaust is like the most amazing thing ive seen on a car period
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500dollarvan
> Hondahounddog
10/17/2015 at 16:19 |
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We agree.