![]() 10/15/2015 at 21:57 • Filed to: None | ![]() | ![]() |
I am King of the Road, and the Well Respected Man About Town. I have kids and a summer house in Florida, and I keep my right hand on the shifter stalk while I’m driving $75,000 and 3 tons of slab sided gunmetal with a modern art front fascia. I drive a truck because I own a roofing business. I have no plates and no window paper, but the “Cherry Top” state troopers cruise on by without a second glance. A person like me is too rich to be harassed about proper registration. Other drivers move right as my authoritative daytime running LEDs pierce their rearview mirror. Eight American cylinders propel my small house down the highway at what would be an alarming rate of speed in many smaller cars. The running boards flip out when I open a door. The center console wirelessly charges my phone. My butt vibrates if I’m leaving a lane. The rearview camera tells me where I’ll end up. I can hide drugs in many, many places. The cupholder fit’s a deucer. This is the official car of SiriusXM Patriot.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:09 |
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While I like the Suburban/Tahoe, I prefer the styling of the GMC Yukon or Cadillac Escalade. The 5.3l V8 gets pretty good gas mileage for having to move all that weight around.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:12 |
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These things and all their cousins (Caddy and Yukon) are EVERYWHERE in lower manhattan. I want one bad. But not for 80k+
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:13 |
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True. I do like the front end of the Chevy, but the rear leaves a bit to be desired, especially lined up next to it’s sisters.
I agree with the MPGs, I think it has to do with the throttle modulation being well designed. It allows you to be precise at the low end without feeling unresponsive.
But when I did floor it to 75 MPH I lost 6 miles of range (Off a total of about 55) that never came back
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:13 |
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I ended up with one of those as a rental a couple years ago, (think it was a 2014 model.) Put on the shades and pretend you are secret service.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:13 |
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Yes, it’s a pig. But I can’t say I wouldn’t like to have it for an afternoon.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:15 |
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The Escalade in top form would probably put you over 80k, but I’m rounding up the price on this specific Tahoe, I believe it was a bit less than 73$ all in.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:18 |
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Oh I absolutely loved every second of it. The glorious excess of the GMT SUV series has always enraptured me since it’s inception. And the trucks they’re putting out today are the perfect incarnation of such an idea.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:23 |
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You know, I actually had thoughts about that one movie, was it The Kingdom? Where they had security details of Yukons traveling at like 120 on the highway, because anyone trying to stop them would have to also go that fast and would be obvious?
That’s basically what I felt like doing 90 in the left lane and having everyone move over
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:46 |
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What would an Escalade say?
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:48 |
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The Escalade doesn’t say things, it shouts them.
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:51 |
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I've heard they like shouting at the peasants
![]() 10/15/2015 at 22:54 |
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Lol funny summary but totally true. I like the full size GM suvs. My friend had a GMC Yukon extended with the 6.2ltr engine. She dropped me at the bottom of my driveway and immediately proceded to accelerate what sounded like as quickly as possible. There were no other cars on the road at the time and it sounded so awesome. I like how they don't make it quiet but give it a nice sound. the interior is the size of a small living room
![]() 10/16/2015 at 00:14 |
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Quite true!
![]() 10/16/2015 at 00:30 |
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I think for 2016 they are getting the 8 speed transmission too which should help the fuel economy improve. Really hope the new Escalades depreciate quickly because they are so awesome to drive, even moving it a spot over on the lot I feel like a BOSS. (Rick Ross voice)
![]() 10/16/2015 at 00:36 |
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I know right? The cool thing is they don’t feel stupidly large on the road. I’m lucky, when I drive cars for my job I usually about about 30 mins to an hour behind the wheel. It’s quite nice.
![]() 10/16/2015 at 01:03 |
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Having put in a few miles in one, I think you hit the nail on the head.
![]() 10/16/2015 at 08:25 |
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Those rims are awesome. They go especially well with the dark grey paint.